Niether supports the army. My mother hates it due to her bad exprience in the guard and her dad serving in ww2. My girlfriend just scared I'll get shot, last time I even brought it up they both almost tore my head off. I dont want them two know like the day I sign the contract, what should I do. Oh and the patriotic defense never worked.
2007-12-19 09:45:55 · 23 answers · asked by black_dragon 3 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
Too add on about the Iraq war, I know I'll most likely be sent thier but hey maybe one more person fighting can make the differance
2007-12-19 09:59:30 · update #1
This question's been popping up a lot recently.
In the morning, when you shave, take a look at the guy looking back at you.
Sure you love you mom. But, face it, in a few years, your mom won't be there. And, believe it or not, friends come and go... even girlfriends... even wives.
Remember that guy in the mirror? You're stuck with him for the duration. You have to live your life in a way that makes him happy. You can't live your life to please others.
Suppose your best friend will be terribly upset of you major in history. You happen to like history. You planned on getting a degree in the subject. But to please your friend you join him in a chemistry major. In a semester you're on academic probation. In another semester you're flunking out of college. You're miserable. You've wasted a year of your life. Your friend? Oh, he changed his major to history... and is having a blast. He doesn't even talk to you anymore.
When you look at the guy in the mirror... if he's smiling back at you... at least once in a while... you're ok.
How to tell them?
You know your mom better than anybody here. You know what she might do... and you have to be prepared for it.
Will she just try to convince you to change your mind?
Will she have a blow a gasket and try to take your head off?
Will she kick you out of the house?
Will she disown you?
Prepare for whatever you think might be worst case scenario, and then sit down with her.
"Mom, you know I love you. You know I don't want to do anything to hurt you. But you also know that someday I'll have to start making my own decisions. I can't let you make them for me forever. I'd guess you're not going to agree with some of them. This is something I have to do."
You know the reasons you want to join. That's the time to present them. Mention your estimate of her concerns and tell her your thoughts on them,
Be calm, don't raise your voice.
Then let her do whatever it is she has to do. You can't live her life for her either.
GF is easy. But still probably want to talk to mom and GF separately.
"I know you don't like my joining the Marines.. But it's something I have to do.. If you care about me as much as you say, you'll support my decision. I'm going to need all the support I can get. But, if you can't see your way to get behind me on this, I'll understand."
She may get behind you.. she may not. You may have to walk away... Don't know where I heard it, but, "If you have something you are afraid to lose, let it go. If it doesn't come back, you never had it in the first place."
No matter what happens, remember that guy in the mirror.
For the record, my dad was ok with it. My mom... well, I guess a guy is always going to be her "little boy." Didn't have "A" special girlfriend at that time. But, later when I was stationed at the Pentagon... and they ALL thought I'd made the right decision.
"Guts up," pal. You'll do ok. ;-)
Take care... and best of luck.
2007-12-19 10:35:06 · answer #1 · answered by gugliamo00 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let me ask this; why do you want to join knowing full well how the two most important women in your life feel? Think about that for a while, because if you love and respect them, then you should also respect what they have to say too.
I don't understand why anyone, in light of what we know about this whole war and the Bush administration, would want to sign up at this time. Why don't you wait until after they pull out? At least then your mom and girlfriend won't feel so freaked out.
It of course is your final decision, but I hope you really take into consideration those that love you and not spring something this upsetting on them at the last minute, that is underhanded and a Marine is not about that behavior. From what I understand, being someone responsible, trustworthy, etc., is what a Marine is about.
2007-12-19 17:57:22 · answer #2 · answered by MadforMAC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people will never understand why someone would want to join the military to protect the american way of life, becuase their way of life has never been personally threatened.
They also dont understand that life in the marine corps will change you forever. They dont understand what important lessons and benifits are gained from it.
If it is really what you want to do you just need to do it and let them decide if they will accept you as a marine. The decision is theirs to do that not for you to conform your life to what they want. Tell your girlfriend you dont understand why she has 100 pairs of shoes but you still love her.
I never had the same problem as my whole male family memebers were prior service except my brother (the only one not to serve) My mom signed papers so I could join at 17. I got out became a sheriff's deputy for a while then missed the corps and re uped again. I was deployed to Iraq where I was shot 4 times now I am totaly disabled, but I never have regreted serving or going back in. If I could somehow go back in now I wouldnt hesitate to do so.
2007-12-19 17:58:24 · answer #3 · answered by Geoff C 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only you can decide what you want in life. Nobody should be in your way of your dreams, and remember that your life is in your hands and nobody else. Your mother and girlfriend can't physically prevent you from going into the Marines. Talk to a recruiter and tell him/her your situation, and they will be more than happy to assist you in telling your family how rewarding the Marines are. Your mom and girlfriend don't want you to join because they had a bad personal experience. Tell them that just because you want to join the Marines doesn't mean you have a death wish. If you went along whatever your mom and girlfriend says, you will be miserable. Good luck and God bless.
2007-12-19 18:51:36 · answer #4 · answered by beckyschristine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you will be at least 18 so you mom can not legally stop you. Start off your career acting like a grown man and tell them flat out you are going to join, if they don't like it though. Don't let their bias of fears dissuade you if you have made your choice, that's part of serving in any armed service.
As for telling them, honestly that's a tough one because I don't know them, if you seriously think it will be an issue, just sign up and after the papers are signed tell them. They will be pissed but they will know you are serious.
I wish you all the best, I have family who are or were in the Corps, and even though I am an Army brat, I respect them and their sacrifice.
Best of luck to you Marine.
Semper Fi
2007-12-19 18:32:41 · answer #5 · answered by Stone K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they are having a good day, take the opportunity to ruin it, tell them then. Do not tell them when they are already having a bad day, it will only make it worse.....then tell them you have given it all the thought you can, have come to a decision and your going to stick by your decision, and hope they will support you even tho they may not be able to understand it, but at least respect it. Assure them that this was not a whimsical decision, but a judgment decision and your confident you did the right thing for "you"..if the gf drops you it was a shallow relationship anyway and she is just being selfish. I think they will eventually come around to supporting you
2007-12-19 18:11:32 · answer #6 · answered by igdubya 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your decision make it for yourself. Your mother should support you in any decision you make. The military will put the world at your finger tips and you should take advantage of it. As far as your girlfriend, the corps is your only girlfriend oncde you leave for bootcamp. Break it off with her before you go or you will not fair well in the military.you dont want to get a dear john letter in Afganistan.
2007-12-19 18:02:40 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your best bet would be to try to sit them down and discuss why you want to join the marines. even if the patriotic defense doesn't work, just rationally talk to them-- they love you, so it's going to be hard to accept. that's just tough news for a mother and girlfriend to hear and they've both got good reasons to feel that way. just try to be understanding of them and hopefully they'll respond the same way. since they love you, they'll support you no matter what, it will just take some time.
2007-12-19 17:51:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
reasearch for them and present facts! Lay it down for them as something that you want and something you (as a man) are doing! They may not agree with it at first, but you will be 18? Mom and the gf will be more then proud when you return from basic in your suit, and standing as one of the few, the proud, a Marine! (you kinda need to man up and tell people what you are doing, it will be good practice for the USMC anyways)
2007-12-19 18:12:24 · answer #9 · answered by michelle n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An old girlfriend of mines brother enlisted without telling anyone. One day two men in uniform came to the door and took him off to boot camp. That was when we all found out.
2007-12-19 17:55:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋