I found this really cool gift registry site called ourwishingwell.com and it allows you to add items and things like the honeymoon and house deposit which guests can contribute to. I think its better than selecting items from a particular store. If you were a guest, would you feel ok about donating money to a gift registry?
2007-12-19 09:23:02 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I really don't get why some people have such a problem with this! No, you should never ASK for a gift that is rude. It is also rude for a person to attend your wedding and not bring at least a small gift. People know this and they usually inquire about where you are registered.
When I attend a wedding, it is because I care about the couple. If they want money towards their honeymoon, then I am fine giving that. What's the difference between giving them $100 bucks towards their honeymoon and buying them $100 worth of towels? It costs me the same!
People that don't like this type of registry need to get with the times and stop being so cheap and selfish!!! I hope no one comes to my wedding unless they care about me and want to get me what I want most, not what they want me to have!
2007-12-19 11:11:23 · answer #1 · answered by Sharon 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I was tossing up with the same dilemma. As my H2B and i already have our home set up we really don't want to add yet another toaster to the mix and would prefer cash.
After discussion my H2B and i decided that there would be people attending our wedding who would likely be offended by the prospect of giving money - our grandparents for a start.
So we decided that we would have a small registry at a store with about a dozen items on it that we didn't have and have an actual wishing well at the reception. That way people who wanted to give money could do so and the ones who were uncomfortable chose a gift.
I found that even though some registry sites allowed you to list cash it was as though it was another box to tick on the form and it felt quite harsh. By having a wishing well we are able to kindly request money using a nice poem to break the ice. This is the one we chose:
More than just kisses so far we've shared
Our home has been built with love and care
most things we need we've already got
like linen and towels, pans and pots
A wishing well we thought would be great
(but only if you wish to participate)
A gift of money is dropped down the well
then make a wish.... Shh! don't tell
Once we've replaced the old with the new
we can look back and say it was thanks to you
and in return for your kindness we're sure
that one day you will get what you wished for!
2007-12-19 17:39:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
While I understand there are folks who think this is alright, I don't agree with it. Gifts are completely optional on the guests part. That's right, a wedding guest is under no obligation to acknowledge your wedding with a gift, and it is not considered rude for them to not give you a gift. Since the gift is up to the guest, then it is up to them to decide what to give you.
However, if you want to have this registry, do so. I would read over the terms of the site, and make darned sure there's no hidden fees that you or your guests have to deal with. I would want every single cent given to you by your guests actually in your pocket. The only socially acceptable way to communicate your wishes to your guests is the same with any registry--through parents, close friends, members of the bridal party, etc. In other words, through word of mouth. Then, when a guest asks your mother or whomever, what you would like as a wedding gift, she can direct them to your choice.
2007-12-19 18:25:30 · answer #3 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I went to a wedding where the gift registry asked for donations to their honeymoon in Thailand in addition to other gifts. Since they had been living together for years they already had everything they needed so the other gifts were nicer things, like fancy dishes etc...so I donated to the honeymoon...I thought it was a great idea!! These days a lot of people live together before they get married, I would prefer to help them pay for something different rather than some fancier forks.
2007-12-19 17:33:12 · answer #4 · answered by tiff 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I personally think asking for money as a gift is rude no matter how you do it or how hard you attempt to justify the behavior. You're grown adults. If people want to give you cash, they will. They should never feel obligated to do so because you have a wishing well of sorts either in person or on a website. It just screams tacky.
I have no idea how begging for money from guests instead of actual gifts became accepted but it's simply disgusting in my opinion. If you want a honeymoon or money for a down payment, EARN it from your place of employment, not from your guests.
2007-12-19 18:08:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
it might be something that is becoming very popular but the whole asking for money i think is very rude. It's my opinion, some people actually like the idea.
for example- when i had my baby's babyshower I pretty much had everything i needed for my son. clothes,strollers, even crib (i was fortunate to have an aunt who just had her own son so she gave me everything). People starting calling my mom asking what i needed and she said i had almost everything i needed. some people told my mom i should've put in my invitations that i wanted money instead of gifts. I saw that as so rude that i told my mom i would have never done that. Little by little people started to find out i had everything and they did give me money but i didn't ask for it though.
2007-12-19 17:43:25 · answer #6 · answered by ynra BTB 4-18-09 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Nope. It is rude to ask for money no matter how you are doing it. You never ever ask your guests for gifts. You are inviting these people because they are close to you, not because of what they can/will give you. A traditional registry for your shower will suffice.
2007-12-19 17:31:38 · answer #7 · answered by oy vey 6 · 6⤊ 2⤋
I had a friend who signed up for something like that..it may have been that site I'm not sure. But they set it up for their honeymoon desitination and people contributed money towards particular activities where they were going to be. I thought it was a fabulous idea!
2007-12-19 17:27:20 · answer #8 · answered by MrsT 1 · 1⤊ 4⤋
Just because a lot of people are doing it doesn't mean it's right. I would be offended. If people want to give you money, they will.
2007-12-19 17:52:23 · answer #9 · answered by sarah jane 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
No. That is HORRIBLY tacky.
2007-12-19 18:47:53 · answer #10 · answered by monicanena 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋