My friend lost her daughter to a car accident. She is tormented and I don't know what to say or not to say to her. I know she is sick of hearing how everyone is so sorry. I am afraid to say too much and afraid to not say anything at all. I need to find a way to comfort her. Any real advice would be appreciated. It was her only daughter. She still has 2 sons left but she only had one girl. She was about 32. Her mom is 56... I am so at a loss from what to do.
2007-12-19 09:18:07 · 5 answers · asked by texas.okie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
We live in different states and it is not feasible for me to be physically there. She has many around her. That is not the issue. I want to let her know I am there for her, and what is too much and what is not enough..
2007-12-19 09:36:03 · update #1
You don't really have to say anything. Just be there for her. Hold her and let her cry. Let her know you love her.
Maybe you could offer her a day of housecleaning. When someone has this great a loss, everyday chores can seem overwhelming. If you can afford it, treat her to a day at a spa for some relaxation while you take care of her home for her.
This is just one idea. She's your friend; watch her and see what seems the most overwhelming chore she has and do it for her.
2007-12-19 09:30:17 · answer #1 · answered by Sheila L 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I recently lost my mom after a long illness. We knew it was coming, we were waiting for it but it was still an awful blow and a very difficult time. I immediately got sick of hearing "how are you doing?" "Are you okay?" "I'm so sorry" And a host of other platitudes from people. I made a list of things people weren't allowed to ask. But of course, no one ever knows the right thing to say and everyone just means well. But as the person grieving it can be incredibly annoying when you're dealing with anger, sadness, denial, etc. All you can do is let her know you love her, that you will be there for anything she needs, and offer to help her. Maybe she has some correspondence that needs to be taken care of after the funeral, maybe there are phone calls that need to be made, etc. But most of all realize you can't comfort her, you can't take away her pain. You can only be there for her when she needs you. As long as she knows that you are a friend, she'll reach out when she's ready.
2007-12-19 09:46:58 · answer #2 · answered by Q-mama 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh! Bless her heart. God that is awful...
The best thing you can do is be there to listen. There just isn't anything you could say to console her. Listening is the greatest gift you could ever offer. Send her a card that reflects this. Let her know that she can seek some comfort in you, and you are available for her.
2007-12-19 09:35:25 · answer #3 · answered by ☆ Spharoe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for her and tell her that IF and when she is ready to talk about it you will be there to listen. If it were my friend I'd be sure to call every day, just to chat and let her set the tone.
2007-12-19 09:26:00 · answer #4 · answered by Butterfly Lover 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell her u will be there for her when she needs to talk
2007-12-19 09:21:50 · answer #5 · answered by mamaz= 1 an 1 on the way 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋