Halloween Wedding?

Question

Whats the opinion of a wedding on this date?

I never really had a problem with them until we recently found out that my husband's cousin has set his wedding date for that day. We have 2 children and when I told my husband he got so annoyed. His feelings are that Halloween is like Santa, you only get a few where the kids are really into it and planning your wedding on that day kind of robs others and their kids of one of those days. He wants to decline, but I am not sure. I can see his side, but I also understand that the bride and groom dont have kids and couldnt possibly understand what taking your kids trick or treating means. But then, I dont want my kids missing out on a fun thing that they look forward to for months, between planning costumes and the thought of all that candy, I wouldnt want to take all that away from them. I am torn, I would love to hear what others think.

No its, Halloween 2009, a Saturday and far from our home, its one or the other. We are holding out hope that it may be a morning wedding and an early afternoon reception so that we could sneak out and get home in time, but I doubt highly they would work it like this.

My question really wasnt how can I work it out, I was just looking for opinions on the subject.

I forgot to add, they were origionally slated to marry this Sept of '08, and pushed it back to the halloween of '09, we arent close with them at all so it wouldnt be prudent to ask them about it, plus, I would never be so arrogant to ask for a rescheduling over trick or treating for my kids. I am hoping that the brother of the groom and his wife who also have little children might protest, but again, I have no clue what will happen. I was surprised they pushed it back a year at all, especially since Hlloween next year is a Friday and it would be acceptable to have the wedding on a Friday in my husbands family, other have done it.

Answer 1

I'm guessing this will be an adults-only wedding? If it's not, usually Halloween weddings include all of the guests coming in costume, so I'm sure the kids would love it.

If it is adults-only, see if there is someway you can do both ... do you usually take your kids trick-or-treating while it's still light outside? Again, with most Halloween weddings I've heard of, they don't usually start until after dark, just like a regular Halloween party.

If you can't bring the kids, and there's no feasible way to do both, for me it would depend on my relationship with the bride and groom. If it's a 4th cousin that you and your husband rarely speak to, the choice is obvious. If his cousin is more like a brother, and you think you may regret it if you don't get to celebrate his wedding, maybe you can figure out some alternate daytime activity for the kids that will still scream "Halloween, candy, and costumes!" but will allow you to attend the wedding.

Just some suggestions, hope they help!

Answer 2

My opinion is, its not as bad as taking away Santa. But I wouldnt want my kids to miss the candy and fun, if I had any kids. At the same time, Halloween is very much an adult holiday, too- which is probably why they picked that day. So I dont feel they were wrong to choose that day. Also, kids enjoy Halloween for more than a few years... we used to trick or treat until we graduated from high school!

Answer 3

I agree that asking them to reschedule is out of the question. Me personally, I would go to the wedding and skip the Halloween. Here's what I'm thinking:

1) A wedding is a more memorable occasion than the Halloween; your kids, as much as they might enjoy the night of trick-or-treating, will soon forget which costume they wore a year or two ago; but they will remember the wedding for a long time to come.

2) Halloween fun doesn't have to stop when you reach a certain age. I love Halloween, and always go to Halloween parties, events, take my friends' kids out trick-or-treating; I ALWAYS dress up - and I'm 30+! Unless you know lots and lots of people who're getting married, there will be many more Halloweens in your lives than weddings.

It might be disappointing that you can't do both - but if I had to choose, I would choose the wedding, hands down - assuming I liked these people and wanted to share in their celebration.

Answer 4

My cousin was married on Halloween about 15 years ago, and I remember the little kids at the reception being all cranked up about having to miss trick or treating. On the upside, the reception was AWESOME with a masquerade theme, and the adults had a fantastical time. I'd go for it, and let your kids throw a Halloween party at your house prior to the big day with costumes and friends and lots of treats so they don't feel like they are getting robbed of anything. It's a sweet compromise!

Answer 5

First, a couple select the date that works best for them, and it is their wedding so the choice is theirs....asking them to change the date so your kids can go trick or treating.....well that would be very distatefull, pure chutzpah in fact so don't consider it, please.....Now...

Let me put it into this perspective for you, Hon.....there will be quite a few Halloweens for your kids.....hopefully speaking, how many weddings does your hubby's cousin plan on having?

Now look at it this way.....which has the most impact/importance within a family circle....a wedding or trick or treating.

Missing one trick or treat event isn't going to traumatize the kids, believe me...and it will teach them not to think of themselves all the time, and to give thought to other's beside themselves, especially if they see their parents doing just that.
Sounds like the biggest kid (your hubby) is the one who'll miss trick or treating the most......

So that year, pick a convenient day just before Halloween and host a kid's Halloween party.Fun & safe!

Or one of you stay behind to take the kids around and the other go to the wedding. Or get your parents to take the kids & babysit them while the two of you go to the wedding.....

and while you're thinking about all that, think on this....
years down the road when the cousin's kids are looking through the wedding album, if they ask why wasn't Cousin So & So at the wedding, the answer will be "Cause he went Trick or treating instead "........get my point?

Answer 6

Halloween in 2008 is on a Friday, so depending on what time the wedding is, take your kids out during the day, early evening and go to the reception late.

Answer 7

If the date is not set in stone, maybe talk to his cousin as to why that would be inconvenient. It's so far away, that they may change their date once they realize that is a conflict. Maybe it's something they haven't thought about yet.

If the wedding is halloween-themed (and you can take your kids), then it actually may be fun for kids too! I mean, it's easy to adapt a wedding for kids, such as having candy and crafts, and everyone can dress up.

Just talk about it to them and find out what's their reasoning behind doing it on that day particularly. It might be a better predicament than you thought.

Answer 8

I agree. Maybe you could do both somehow? Like take the kids and go trick-or-treating in the area, then hire a sitter for while you go to the wedding with your husband?

Answer 9

You go to the wedding and let him do Halloween with the kids. Maybe you should ask the bride and groom why they chose that date and let them know what your concerns are, you may not be the only one with those concerns.

I would not plan my wedding on that day- Halloween and weddings just don't mix in my book. That is just creepy, but I had never thought about the child, trick-or-treating aspect until now. I have enough children in my family, that I would plan around the kids activities. I would at least make it possible for the kids to trick or treat.

Answer 10

I plan on getting married on Halloween and really whats so bad about going to a wedding that should be once in a life time instead of Halloween which comes every year?....

You can have your kids go out with friends of yours or something instead....

I think it would be hurtful if you missed a family members wedding because you were irritated by the fact that they chose an important day to your kids to get candy.