My wife dislikes my kids, 2 daughters 26 and 27. she wants me only to herself and hates when I see or even talk to them. She has 2 sons 16 & 18 that I treat with respect and love. She talks bad about my kids all the time and it's driving me nuts. I try to tell her its not normal and all she says is She just wants me not my family. I don't like problems, but really need to do something. My girls are both on there own and never ask for anything. Her oldest is a money spending machine, and she thinks nothing of it. I will not throw my family away. What should I do?
2007-12-19 08:47:59 · 13 answers · asked by TNT 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Ooh, that is not good. If she loves you, she should love what is part of you. She should understand that your children come first. If you can accept her children, she should be woman enough to accept yours.
I would tell her straight out... "My children are my children and they come first." I am sorry if I hurt your feelings but you have to understand that you hurt mine when you talk negative about my children."
2007-12-19 08:53:14 · answer #1 · answered by †Evonne† 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're absolutely right. Confront her, but don't start by pointing out her childrens' bad points. Tell her -gently- that your kids are every bit as much a part as your family as she is and that you love them all -wife AND kids. Let her know that it upsets you when she talks bad about your children and ask her how she'd feel if you did the same toward her kids. Bottom line, be honest about your feelings and encourage her to do the same, just don't allow those honest feelings turn a conversation into an argument!
2007-12-19 08:58:13 · answer #2 · answered by Cat's Cradle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need professional intervention because this is far more serious than it appears...it shows, without doubt, the complete and total lack of love and respect your wife should have for you...while you show yours constantly. This is not fair, not just and not tolerable. Life is far too short and tenuous to allow this terrible behavior on her part. If she refuses help or joint counseling and does not improve her attitude, then you have no other choice but to file for divorce. Your family comes first, always and your daughters will be there for you, always...my sympathy to a nice guy who got hooked up with a terrible wife.
2007-12-19 08:54:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is time for some maturity.
1) Explain to her that she is not to make comments about your children. Tell her you intend to talk and visit with your children and they are welcome in your home. Period!
2) Marriage counseling in the order of the day. The fact that she expects you to give up your children and the fact that you have not put your foot down by now says that there are other problems going on here. It will take a professional to help you and her with them.
It is up to you. Only you can put a stop to it.
2007-12-19 09:15:15 · answer #4 · answered by msbettyboop40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You put your foot down. You tell her in no uncertain terms you will not tolerate her disrespectful attitude towards your children anymore and then you stick to your guns. You might not like problems, but allowing her to badmouth your kids all the time will do nothing except create big ones. It will also cause a great deal of resentment. Tell her to shut up!
2007-12-19 08:58:44 · answer #5 · answered by shadowdog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is being very unfair and unreasonable. Tell her that your daughters are in your life and her attitude is not helping your marriage to her. Don't throw away your family. Consider going to see a counselor with her on this issue. She needs to hear from others that there is something wrong with her thinking. It potentially could destroy your marriage. Good luck.
2007-12-23 02:46:55 · answer #6 · answered by Simmi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She knew you had kids when she married you and cannot expect you to not have a relationship with your kids. I would tell her she needs to stop talking bad about them and show some respect....if there is a choice here it will obviously be your kids. She is being very selfish.
2007-12-19 09:11:12 · answer #7 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
....ok, outside of wanting to be married, WHY did you marry this woman? Ask yourself this, who is your LIFE? The kids, who you raised, diapered and loved, or some woman who is being non supportive of two people who are now a part of her family...?
I think she needs some serious talking to, and if she doesn't straighten it out for her self in six months to a year, you seriously need to move on to someone who understands that you come as a PACKAGE!
2007-12-19 08:53:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never ever tolerate anyone bad mouthing your children and expecting you to never see them. If you want to do something that will let your wife know this is unacceptable, leave without telling her you're going.
2007-12-19 08:55:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a jealousy issue going on. your girls come first, and that's that. she also has no respect for you if she's talking bad about your girls. she needs to grow up, or get a divorce. find someone that will take you and your girls, not just you. what do your girls think of her?
2007-12-19 09:04:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋