There was this guy that I used to hang around with and we got pretty close, and we liked each other but he was sort of a distant type..wouldnt express his feelings properly and wasnt open..so we never talked abt getinn serious..But i REALLY liked him..but he moved out of state and after that we decreased our contact..i felt soo depressed..then i met another guy and I liked him..and as of now I am engaged to him and gona b married next year..I really do like this new guy and I talk everyday to him.. but I still cannot forget the old guy for some reason..all memories come back to me and I just miss him..but he acts as if he dusnt care and dusnt try to realy talk to me much and all like wen we r both Online..but I m sitting here like an idiot feeling depressed over him wen I have a Gem of a guy as a fiance..What shud I do? How can I forget this Guy and get him off MY MIND!! i need to forget him b4 my marriage.. Im going crazy everyday PLease tell me...what can i doo?
2007-12-19 08:42:07 · 11 answers · asked by shachi r 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Btw- the new guy that i met(my current fiance) is sooo open and affectionate..and so loving..but that old guy wasnt like this...he dusnt show any care...even if he feels it inside..he didnt even try to pursue our relation..and BTW he even came back to the state..and has been here..and DID NOT EVEN BOTHER TO CONTACT ME ..or tell that he is here..But me like an idiot feeling sad over hiim...Plsss tell me how to make this feeling for him go away..
I even tried blocking him for a few weeks and not seeing him online..but still mY mind keeps thinkin of him..and i feel very sad..and he's even lookin for brides for marriage now..and i feel so sad..and keep checking what hes upto...What is it that i need to do to forget himm?? for gods sakes i have a sweethert as a fiance!! :(((( Pls give me mature advice...
2007-12-19 08:43:13 · update #1
It sounds like you're very confused...and to be honest it is unfair to the new guy....you guys are engaged and your thinking about a new guy.....honey take that other guy out your mind...life...internet if he is one of your buddies online delete him FOR GOOD!!! He obviously doesn't care about you...and you MIGHT ruin a happy life that you can have with your fiance.....take some time and REALLY think about this....THE OTHER GUY DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOU!!! AND YOU'RE ENGAGED TO A GREAT GUY..........WHY ARE YOU SWEATING THIS OTHER LOSER?!?!
2007-12-19 08:56:22 · answer #1 · answered by hi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Boy you have got a real problem on your hands (LOL) but I can tell from reading that you obviously know what you should do...and what you will end up doing is the right thing. In your mind you have created this old "guy" that doesn't exist because he does not seem to feel the same way about you. You are just having a typical reaction for a girl in your position...when are you getting married? It is a normal stage of engagement to go through what you are feeling and trust me if it was not this "old guy" it would be another old guy, maybe from middle school or something, etc. It is crazy the way your mind and body respond to spending the rest of your life with someone and you often "test" your feelings by thinking or recalling the "good" times with other people. This new guy seems great so until the "phase" passes (and it will) try to think about the great things that your fiance does for you because he cares about you. It is just your nerves and trust me, in the end, you want a sweety like your fiance there by your side...especially when you are in the delivery room...there is no more time that you need a caring and sensitive man!! And just a little insight, when a man is truly in love with you he will act towards you the way your fiance does (so you can know his feelings are true) and your "old" guy was honestly just not into you and I think you can tell that is obvious because if he honestly cared about you he would be treating you the way your fiance does! Just think about all of the things you would loose if you ruin your current relationship...your "old" guy does not want to get with you anymore, so you would be alone and searching for another guy like your fiance, right? Good Luck...those cold feet will warm up :- )
2007-12-19 08:54:43 · answer #2 · answered by ataman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While you indicated that you were very close to the old guy(let us call him Bob) and hung out, you did not say what kind of relationship you two had. Were you Bob's girlfriend or not; if you were his girlfriend , how long did you guys date and why did it end? The answers to these questions are important in helping you come up with a way to get him out of your mind and life.In the meantime, I would advise you to think about, and consider the following suggestions:1)do not marry your current fiance until you sort your feelings out2)tell your fiance the whole story; be honest and complete 3)If necessary, stop dating your fiance ( or anyone else for that matter) until you know how you feel about Bob4) contact Bob , sit down with him and then try to clarify all the issues that connect you both or issues that are on your mind5)Based on the out come of your talk with Bob, you will now have a much clearer understanding of your feelings for him, his for you , what kind of relationship you will both have(if any)6) then let your fiance know your future.It will be very unfair to you and your fiance for you to continue to date him right now much less marry considering how confused you are about Bob.I suspect this is a case of you feeling slighted by him , maybe because he has not responded to you the way most other men in your life have.Your pride and ego are injured and you want him to acknowledge your attractiveness or his desire for you because his actions have been contrary .Regardless of the reasons, I sympathize with your confusion and dilemma especially since you have a terrific guy now. Do what ever you have to do to keep your gem of a fiance and do not get involved with Bob no matter what. Please act fast to resolve this so you do not end up with a serious emotional loss. I wish this Christmas will bring you the joy and happiness you and your fiance deserve for the new year.Good luck.
2007-12-19 09:24:05 · answer #3 · answered by abbeycoolit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how you can forget him. But, two things that might help are the "out of sight out of mind" approach, which is to not search him on the internet or check up on him in any way. The second thing is that maybe time will help. Eventually you will forget him. The third thing is that maybe you have some doubts in your mind about your current relationship. You know you want to be with your current partner, but you are scared. This is normal. Talk to your current guy about these feelings and let him reassure you. Seek comfort with him and make him feel that he is number one in your life. :-)
2007-12-19 08:47:32 · answer #4 · answered by 3ng1n33rgurl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear you still have feelings for your friend, but you have to think about the future, It not a good thing to have someone else on your mind when you have a finance. I know it would hurt your finance if he finds out that you have someone on your mind everyday and not him, it sound that your finance would be a good man to you and who will love you till death, why wasting your time thinking and remembering about your old friend when you can start and have a better relationship with your new partner, you need to sit back and get him off your mind and start thinking that he is not worth it, and he will not be there for you when you need him, you need to see who is really important at this time and start thinking about your marriage and your future with him. I hope everything turn out fine. GOoD LUCK!
2007-12-19 08:56:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like u need to close this chapter before u started a new one. IT s is very hard but u must try, and if u cant then i suggest u talk tothe old one and see what is it that he wants. u cannot marry someone that you are not in love with. U will doomed and headed for divorce in a couple of months or maybe years.
2007-12-19 08:49:39 · answer #6 · answered by yayohelpme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing is, is that you will never forget him. It really sucks, but your past is your past. You can't change it. You may want to confront 'Guy' about how you can't stop thinking about him and tell him that you are perfectly happy with your sweetie and without him. I still think about my ex and I still dream about him. I dreamt about him last night and I've been engaged to my wonderful man over a year. (together 3yrs)
Bottom line; you will never forget him, you just have to move on.
2007-12-19 09:45:33 · answer #7 · answered by Jackie D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Track him down. Chances are he'll do something to make you realize you're more in love with the memorys than anything about him.
If you don't, you will always and forever wonder "what if". Especially in the tough times that are coming for you and your fiance. And they are coming. Hear me now, believe me later.
2007-12-19 08:51:52 · answer #8 · answered by MetalHeart 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep a journal of the bad things either he's done or said. Referring back to them every time you think of him will probably help.
2007-12-19 08:51:17 · answer #9 · answered by QuEEn B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that sounds pretty bad...i think you should erase him all together..erase his msn on Ur list erase his phone number EVERY THING...cuz it sounds like he could care less and also sounds like you got a great guy so my advise is try erasing him even tho u care about him and all that just look at what he's doing...NOTHING...good luck.
2007-12-19 08:49:27 · answer #10 · answered by a women 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋