Why is it that women claim they want a sweet, nice man but then they go for jerks? They always give guys advice meant to make them into sweet guys who treat women like princesses, but they go for the guy who will treat them like everything but a princess. They will keep returning to guys who cheat on them, but they won't be attracted to the guy who would never do that. Why are girls attatched to bad guys? I think the same could be said about me though. I seem to be attracted to bad girls. Should I just be a jerk to make myself more attractive to women?
2007-12-19 07:58:41 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
No, please don't be a jerk. There are girls out there who really do want to marry a nice, sweet guy who will treat them right. Unfortunately the guys many of us are attracted to possess some qualities that blend better with the jerks than with the nice guys. Qualities like being a take charge type of guy (but we don't want someone who feels they MUST take charge, or they aren't a "real" man), someone who can DO things around the house, instead of just hanging out with his virtual friends. We want a man who will GLADLY mow the lawn, change the oil, carry out the trash, kill bugs, NOT watch TV all weekend long. Someone who can take a genuine interest in our interests every so often (not ALL the time). Someone who can stand up to his Mother when needed, but also show respect to all women including and especially to his Mother and wife. Someone who will defend our honor, but not pick a fight or be jealous unnecessarily.
In short, we want a model Boy Scout in every area except in the areas we don't (and those areas vary from woman to woman).
I think there are so many jerks out there that when some women come across a genuinely sweet, nice guy, they get scared off, or loose respect for him. We don't like what we have, but don't know what to do with what we want when we get it.
If you're a sweet, nice guy then have patience with us. We want guys like you, but it may take us a while to realize what we have, and that we aren't going to scare you off by being protective of our hearts.
2007-12-19 08:56:57 · answer #1 · answered by Tonya in TX - Duck 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No. The women who are attracted to jerks are women who have not matured yet. You don't want a woman like that.
You'll notice that the women who tend to go for the jerks are the younger women. Most of us went through stages where we found something attractive in men who aren't nice. I guess it's probably the chase. Feeling some need to make someone who isn't really available to you want you.
The more mature women get, the less patience and tolerance they have for nonsense. We have a better sense of self-confidence, and self-worth.
Don't make yourself into a jerk. Be the good person that you are, and you'll find a woman who is right for you. If she is emotionally mature, then she will be attracted to the goodness in you. If a woman is attracted to jerks, then she's not going to be someone you can have a healthy relationship with, anyway.
2007-12-19 16:31:03 · answer #2 · answered by Jess H 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My husband is not a jerk. My husband treats me BETTER than a princess, I think. He is loyal, patient, generous, honest, empathetic, monogamous, and kind of a prude. I love him more now than I did 13.5 years ago when we married, and I was crazy in love with him then.
I admit, I did date jerks when I was younger. Some of them I didn't know were jerks until I was older and I looked back on their behavior and said, "Boy, that guy really was a jerk!" Others were jerks. I think in my naivete, I thought that if a guy was hateful to everybody else, but tenderhearted with me, it was proof that he really DID love me.
Also, it was a while before I understood that I really was loveable enough for the nice guys.
I don't think you should act like a jerk to attract women. You should be yourself. You should tell women that they deserve better than the jerks they are dating, and you should behave yourself in the meantime.
2007-12-19 16:21:26 · answer #3 · answered by sparki777 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some girls think they can change the jerks into what they really want. They like the "idea" of "helping" him. Don't worry it never works. The only problem is that they are usually so jaded by the past experiences they can't tell a good man if he sent her flowers, listened to her, and had full respect for her in every way. It's sad. I do think you can truly appreciate a good man once a few meanies break your heart. Hang in there.
2007-12-19 16:06:08 · answer #4 · answered by Blame Amy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because some women cannot survive without a man in their life. They are so desperate and needy that they settle for any man who pays attention to them. The women who end up with nice guys take their time we may go to dinner with a jerk, but we get rid of him as soon as he treats us badly. We want a man in our lives, but not so badly that we will allow them to treat us like that. Just keep being a nice guy, and you will find a woman who loves you.
2007-12-19 16:37:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you hit the nail on the head when you said, " I think the same could be said about me though. I seem to be attracted to bad girls."
Not all women go for the bad guys. Trust me, you don't want the women that like abusive cheaters anyway. They're most likely insecure, or have issues they need to take care of.
Believe me, I've been there, done that, and moved on to one of the sweet ones.
Don't give up!
<3
2007-12-19 16:10:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are alot of false assumptions and generalizations there.
No don't be a jerk, try a better class of women. Sounds like you have run across ones with self esteem issue or lack emotional maturity.
Women do not want someone they can walk all over, but they don't want jerks either.
2007-12-19 16:06:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Women say they want to be treated like princesses but really we just want to be treated equally. We want to be treated special, but we want to treat you special, too. If you make a girl princess, she wants you to be her prince, not her doormat.
Men who do treat us like princesses don't let us treat them like princes - probably because they think it takes away from us feeling special. We want to feel special, but no more special than our boyfriends, because our boyfriends are special to us. Jerks start to appeal to us because they're such a dramatic change from being put on a pedestal; usually it's an attempt to even things out.
If you want to treat your girlfriend like a princess, try not to lavish her with more than she is able to lavish you with (don't be afraid to request a back rub or some kind of special treatment now and then). If she can't reciprocate or never gets the opportunity to, she will feel the relationship is unbalanced, as if she's taking advantage of you, and will feel guilty - and that's not good for a relationship.
2007-12-19 16:05:45 · answer #8 · answered by Lady of the Pink 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think some women are drawn to the jerks and cheaters because they think that they can "fix" them. It's like when they give you advice on how to be a good man, they believe deep down that they can change a "bad boy." I know this, because I did this for the longest time before I met my finacee.
2007-12-19 16:02:09 · answer #9 · answered by ultraviolet1127 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
What a jerk does best is lie! They lie, they make a woman think he's a sweet and nice guy and when she finds out he's not it's too late, she's in love! And it's pretty hard to let go...
2007-12-19 16:01:33 · answer #10 · answered by ale180985 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋