ANNOY TeLLeMaRKeTeRS!!?

Question

What are some good ways to mess with the annoying telemarketers??? ex. "can you repeat that" or "can you talk louder"

Answer 1

Some that I have actually used are:

1. He's not here because he died yesterday.
2. I'm not here because I died yesterday.
3. I don't live here, I'm robbing this house.
4. I'm an alien from another planet...does the "3 cents per minute rate apply when I call the planet Zortron?"
5. Woof Woof Woof (I just bark and then hang up)

99% of our calls are from the DISH network. I tell them that I work for the cable company and get all my services for FREE! But I'll happily switch to the DISH network if they'll give me the services for free AND pay me $200 per month.

Answer 2

10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked
because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my
arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."

9. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name.
Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located.
Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as
long as necessary.

8. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy,
how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of
pause as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan,
reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends ... would
you be my friend?"

6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and
you could sure use some money.

5. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could
bring you a case of beer and some chips

4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When
they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit
card number to a complete stranger.

3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will
give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the
telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I
guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer
will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" Say good by - and Hang up.

2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on
Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your mom?"

And first and foremost:

1. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.


After each question they ask you say "no" ... for example ... are you the owner of the house? "no" can I speak with the owner please? "no" do you know a good time to call back? "no" ... so on and so forth.

Respond "Shhhh!!! (name they ask for) is sleeping, your too loud please be quiet" After they quiet down, say again "You're still too loud!" do this until they get to a very quiet whisper and then scream "IM SORRY I CANT HEAR YOU, YOUR TOO QUIET!!!"

Every time they say something, say "That's not true!"

When you answer, stick the phone in the microwave(don't turn it on) This way they can hear themselves and find out how rediculous they sound.

Answer 3

Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up.

(one of my favorites)
A bunch of them are listed in this source site. Seems like a very familiar person.

Answer 4

My favorite is to act like you're in the bathroom and not having an easy time "accomplishing things". FYI, there's a comedian named Tom Mabe whose act consists of harassing telemarketers. Check out his CDs, they're hysterical!

Answer 5

whoever they ask for, i scream into the receiver for them, they typically will hang up.