I've always been right there to pick my son up from school, but one day I was standing in the same spot as usual & he didn't see me & I didn't see him. His classmates walked past me, but somehow I didn't see him walk past. I waited a minute thinking what I should do, so I walked into his classroom & his teacher said he walked out w/ the rest of the kids. Again I went outside to look for him, but couldn't find him. I went around the building (still looking) and into the principals office to find him sitting in a chair crying. That was 5 days ago & now he is worried that I won't find him & has cried off & on at school every day. I promised him that I will not let it happen again & that I will ALWAYS be there, etc, etc., but it does not seem to be comforting him & is making it really hard to drop him off knowing that he is probably going to cry again.....Any suggestions?
2007-12-19 06:35:29 · 18 answers · asked by ♥bigmamma♥ 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Let him take a walkie talkie in his book bag. Tell him to ONLY turn it on when he is walking out the door to come and find you. You will have the other one and can communicate until you meet up. This is really scary for any parent or child with all the creeps that are out there. Good Luck!
2007-12-19 06:42:45 · answer #1 · answered by Mars1111 5 · 8⤊ 1⤋
Not having Mommy there can be really traumatic and scary when you're that age. I suggest giving him a little trinket or ring, something that he can take to school without it distracting him. Tell him (again) that you will always be there, and give it to him at that moment. Right after saying that. Hopefully, he will link the two together in his mind (trinket/ring/whatever and your words) so that whenever he looks at what you gave him throughout the day, he will know you will be there. Also, every once in a while, when you pick your son up from school, take him out for some ice cream, or go to the park (sorry...summer things) go sledding! (there!). That way he will have something to look forward to after school (maybe tell him in advance, but he will also remember the times that you DID do you something fun with him, and that will brighten his spirits.) Hope this helped!
2007-12-19 14:51:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is from a workshop on anxiety:
Go over one time with your child - and tell him this is the last time- the logic. You were there, he is always safe, etc. etc. Also, play "worse case scenario" with him. What IF you weren't there, no problem - he's safe at school and can go to his teacher.
When he worries and asks, just say "We've discussed this already" and DO NOT explain it again. That feeds into and reinforces their fear.
Just be cool. No problem. Of course you'll be fine.
Then reward him for overcoming his fear. Tell him for each day that he does not cry he'll get a star, and when he earns X stars you'll... whatever works for you - we usually get a sunday and McDs.
Do not reassure him when he cries. Just tell him, we've already discussed this. The more you reassure and feel guilty, the more he feels like there is something to worry about and it reinforces the fear.
Play it off a bit more like it was no big deal - he's may be reading your anxiety about dropping him off upset, and that reinforces his fear.
My son as anxiety issues, so I've gone to parenting workshops on the matter. Good Luck!
2007-12-19 15:18:25 · answer #3 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
make sure he knows he did the correct thing to go to the office. He is probably upset because he didn't know what to do. Make sure he has a plan on what is is suppose to do if he doesn't see you at the end of school again! I am betting that will make it better! He knows mom will always be there, but what should he do if you aren't! Don't make promises you can not keep. You never know when something minor could slow you down and you don't make it to school on time. Give him a plan of action, he he should be fine!!
2007-12-19 14:46:34 · answer #4 · answered by Emily E 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
You just need to reassure him again. Instead of waiting outside for him go to his classroom and give him a wave. Talk to his teacher also. Here in Canada students up to grade 4 are not allowed to be let go. An adult must be waiting by the classroom and teachers must know who the adults are. Teachers are not permitted to let student outside after school and must wait for all child to be go before they leave.
2007-12-19 17:58:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Either arrange to meet him in the office every day, or at least to meet you in the EXACT same spot every day. Assure him you will always be there, and tell him if you are ever late, that he should just wait in the office and you will be there eventually, having a plan, knowing exactly what to do, will make him feel more secure.
2007-12-19 15:30:49 · answer #6 · answered by Thrice Blessed 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He was scared and needs to know he did the right thing by going to a trusted adult. The time delay of you searching for him did not help to clam him. Set up a back up plan with him. Tell him that if he does not see you in your spot at pick up time to double back to the front door and stay there.
2007-12-19 16:36:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to stand right outside the school doors after school and that Mommy will come and get you. Right now, you can assure him that you will always be there for him and you won't leave him. Also tell him not to go with ANYONE except Mommy or Daddy (or other close relative).
2007-12-19 15:20:01 · answer #8 · answered by That Gay Guy for Da Ben Dan 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh my goodness I would have been absolutely panicking if that had happened to me and my 7 year old. The person who suggested a walkie talkie had a great suggestion there. If he can talk to you when he is leaving and you respond and tell him exactly where you are that should help him overcome his fear.
2007-12-19 16:14:53 · answer #9 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is obviously insecure.. so rather than meeting him outside every day..
have him meet u in the principals office in the chair where he was sitting..
that way he Will not feel alone,, and he will be safe inside..
good luck.. Happy holidays
2007-12-19 16:28:10 · answer #10 · answered by ♥ Blondie ♥ 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋