im trapped?

Question

im really depressed because im not allowed to date and its led to me being very awkward around boys. my parents say i have to get when im older and they wont allow me to leave the house for uni.all they talk about is a husband, like if i drop a tray jokingly my dad goes ''you shouldnt do that for your husband''. its funny but its ruined my mentality. im in england and i know if i really did want to i could, its just that theyve controlled my life so much that if i get out id be pretty vulnerable and i cant make my own decisions. ive become really pesimistic and i have given up on love. i dont like the feeling. i feel worthless and i cant speak out in my house. ridiculous things annoy my parents, like if i havent closed a bottle of coke extra tight i get screamed out like id done something much worse, and i always need to wear sandles in doors and i dont to get salt my dad goes nuts. i always have events with my friends cancelled because i dont speak in the 'right manner' or tone. help

im 16 years old

Answer 1

Try and not let your parents get you down. Hang in there and know that things will get better one day. Believe in yourself and anything is possible. When will you begin to drive? Just think of it this way you have two more years til you can mov out and go to college. Be strong and you will make it.

Answer 2

are you older enough to move out? if you are i'd suggest moving into monitered accomidation so that your not entirely living on your own as such, but then you that indepenance that you need but also not vulnerabe and you get to make your own decisions. good luck hun

Answer 3

Throw a fit or leave the house. Your old enough.

Answer 4

just relax , and do what you see the right for you

study your situation , then deiced ..

Answer 5

You are only as trapped as you feel. Which, by the sound of it means you are feeling very pressed down upon by unloving and in your opinion unreasonable restrictions.

Unfortunately, there is not much anyone here can do to help you. At sixteen you are naturally wanting to burst through the boundaries that your parents are placing upon you. The thing is that parents respond to that by tightening up on the rules thinking that it's doing you some good. See, they don't do it to be evil, they do it because they don't know what else to do and they think it is GOOD for you. They really do. They are wrong. I know that, you know that. So at least someone in the world will agree with you that they are not doing you any favors by becoming so irritated by your new behavior that they start to mistreat you and lash out at you. Not all problems are the same size, so it really isn't fair that you get screamed at over salt.

Your parents are really reacting to your negative attitude about things, and they are lashing out at you for just normal human differences. You are feeling sorry for yourself because every part of you wants to be in love and your parents won't let you. What you don't know, that they do know (hence the reason they think what they are doing is good for you) is that where dating is concerned, they are pretty much right. Just because you want to date doesn't mean you should. There is no reason why a 16 year old girl should have a boyfriend yet. Dating yes, if you were my daughter you would be allowed to date in a group of friends situation, (like 6 of you going to the mall or something). But only as a group because dating is different for boys and girls. Girls want the love stories they see in their favorite movies (I do too!). Boys want to have sex. That's all they really want at that age. I'm not making that up, in fact you can put out your next question to the boys and ask them if at the age of 14-18 if they thought about getting anything but sex from girls and you'll find out for yourself.

Your parents KNOW this. And they also know that at 16 you are not mature enough to handle a sexual relationship with a boy, even if you two are in love. Because the point of sex is to express love and to create children. It isn't to get some little horny guy what he wants. And to boys, that's all they want. Seriously. It isn't romanticism, it's not the future wife and mother of their children, it's not anything that you can imagine that makes you want to be in love so badly. It's an undignified, stinky, messy way to give up the only gift you have to offer the man who later WILL truly love you and be there for you. That is what your virginity was meant to be given for. To someone who will be there when you wake up every morning for the rest of your life.

Even though you probably weren't thinking about giving up your virginity and you just want out of the house, boys truly will do and say anything they think you want in order to get you to have sex with them. That is why your parents won't let you out of the house.

Aside from that, what they don't realize is that they are being unreasonable and that they are not trusting in how they raised you enough to let you out of their sight. You have some power here. It is not going to win you anything to lose your temper though. You cannot have even a trace of a poor attitude in your voice. You must talk to your parents when they are in fairly good moods and you must think hard about what you want to say. You will have to stand up for your rights without insulting or sulking. You could inform them of what I just said, in that you should not have to pay the price for them not trusting in their parenting of you. You could tell them that you have a right to experience life outside of your house and tell them what you said to us. That you are depressed, that you feel worthless and trapped. That their rules don't make you feel loved by them, but instead opressed. What is the worst that they can do? Ground you? Punish you some more? At least you got to feel what it's like to speak your mind, and you only have 2 more years under their roof.

Tell them you know that boys only want to have sex, and that you aren't stupid. Tell them they raised a good kid and that their paranoia is going to force you to free yourself from them if they don't lighten up a bit and trust you.

The things I have suggested you say are adult things, and I think that if you pray about it before you speak that you might at least get to go out with your friends in a group setting.

Just try to understand that even though your hormones have made you ache to your core with a desire to be loved by some really cute boy that it doesn't mean you have also been endowed to handle such a relationship emotionally. Even if nothing changes today, please know that your time WILL come. Somehow God made someone for everyone, and you will find him, or he will find you and your parents can't stop that. At least not without paying a dear price for your misery. What comes around goes around.

Try to do other things that you like in the meantime. If you like to paint or write or even just play with toys, go ahead and do that. Do something that you like instead of being miserable all the time. Your parents can only make you feel trapped if you let them. You can escape in other ways. You don't have to stick around while they yell about coke. You can just look at them, apologize and go into another room. You can run a bubble bath and read a book. I don't know what you can do for fun, but you can figure that out if you refocus your efforts onto it. If you don't do something fun you will go crazy.

Good luck and I hope your parents will lighten up on you!