what do you think about child abuse? Doyou think if your abused in some way growin up you'll be the same way.

Question

I was verbally and emotionly abused growin up by my mom.Now im 25 and have a better relationship growin up,but sometimes my husband says i'm just like my mom,the way i get mad at my kids i dont want to be that way with my kids i wouldnt want to put them what i went through what can I do so i can control myself to stop having these outbursts like my mom did on me.

Answer 1

My dad was an alcoholic for many years, I'm a teen now,still iin high school, my dad busted his back and stopped drinking, so he is fine now.
But he used to hit me and was very mean to my mother, once pulled a knife on her. I will never forget the stuff I saw him do.
Also the things he says and said to me. He is very mean when he is mad, and has a short temper, bad thing is I find myself acting just like him sometimes. I'll never do what my dad did to me, to my children.

Answer 2

Learning or reminding oneself of the ways that such abuse actually damages others, may help you to 'stop in your tracks' before 'exploding'. Here are some articles that have such motivational info:

HELP Your Children to Thrive! :
~ Harsh Words, Crushed Spirits
~ Parents Under Pressure
~ Help Your Children to Thrive
http://watchtower.org/e/19970808/article_01.htm

"A Child's Early Years--What Should Parents Do?"
- "The Importance of Nurturing Your Child" http://watchtower.org/e/20041022a/article_02.htm

The Future of Children - (Sub-Section)
http://futureofchildren.org/information2827/information_show.htm?doc_id=79339

What about damage that has already occurred, either in children or in adults? What about the effects of feelings of worthlessness, guilt, anger, hate, etc...? Many who have had such residual troubles report having experienced remarkable relief through the use of a new technique that combines accupressure with neutralizing their reaction to its 'historical cause': .
When put in your browser's URL box, that <^> will take you to it.

Answer 3

It takes practice. If you keep it in the front of your mind all the time, you will gradaully realize what you are doing and it will no longer become habit.

Make it a family rule that ANYONE who yells, get time out. After sitting in time out yourself, you may learn the lesson.

Its all about retraining yourself. If you have a bad day, the next day is new and you do everything you can to not outburst that day. Then try again the next day. etc

Answer 4

Well all you can do is before you start getting upset about something, think about what your mom did and what it will do to the people you getting mad at. My boyfriend is going through the same thing but he was physcially and verbally abused by his father.

but he does get upset but we've worked on that because everytime he gets mad i either say dont be like your dad or he thinks it on his own. but he still does how outburts. he does physically do anything but he does verbally.

we are trying to concieve and i have in the back of my mind that he might try to do something to my baby or something, but i know that we have been working on his outburst which his family has told me he is happier, he isnt as depressed like before. so i know he is way improving.

but for you, you need to talk baby steps and get yourself to not do what your mother did, by telling you self everytime something happens, that you dont want to be like your mom. even praying to god will help matters to. Good Luck!

Answer 5

Alot of people Only associate PTSD with Major trauma But not always the case .look at this article
http://www.medicinenet.com/posttraumatic_stress_disorder/article.htm
I would consider talking to someone .just so you can talk about your past and find closure.
Emotional and verbal abuse Can be worse than physical abuse.Over time bruises heal but words remain.

Answer 6

umm...It is proven that your childhood trauma's effect your own life in the future. Yes, it is possible that you are taking after your mother...even though you don't want to. I have gone through something similar. If this is really bothering you, there are ways you can learn to cope and handle it. Talk to a professional...A psychiatrist perhaps. Good luck, and this happens to a lot of people so don't feel so bad, okay?

Answer 7

My mom was abused but never abused me or my sister. You can break the cycle you just have to catch yourself before you have an outburst and walk away.

Answer 8

i will never treat my kids the way i was treated growing up...

Answer 9

No, I don't think that's true.