We have a daughter who is 2 and I am almost 12 weeks pregnant. I wanted to stay home with our daughter after she was born but my husband insisted I go back to work so I did. I know we could afford it with me not working but he says it's not fair to him. Our house is always dirty because working full time and being pregnant has taken all of my energy that I have left...I swear this may sound gross but i'm sure our dishes havent been done in weeks....he works swing shift so he even gets days off during the week but doesnt want to help around the house and expects me to do it all. So I told him that if I could stay home I would make sure the house was always clean and there was always dinner on the table every night...but he still refuses?!?!?! What am I susposed to do?? Please help...
2007-12-19 05:05:44 · 18 answers · asked by It's a Girl!!! 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
My only problem right now not being able to quit because I carry the insurance....but I gave him unitl after the baby was born to find another job...but he just laughs...and told me that he was keeping the job he had if that was the case....
2007-12-19 05:20:03 · update #1
Didn't you discuss this BEFORE you got pregnant and had a child with this person? I am not trying to sound cruel but it sounds like he is a selfish twit. Why doesn't he feel the need to help? I think a counselor would be helpful.
2007-12-19 05:10:39 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs. Mad Maddy 4 · 6⤊ 1⤋
I worked at home with my 1st until she was 20 months old and then I took a part time job out of the home and still worked from home so I could still help with the money but still manage to clean house and if my hubby was lucky make dinner once a week (ha ha)! I'm 22 weeks with #2 and my daughter will be 3 next month. I'm due in April and my goal is to market myself and get more work to do at home so I can be a full-time work/stay at home mom when the baby is born. Good luck!
2007-12-19 05:10:10 · answer #2 · answered by Precious 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What exactly isn't fair to him in his opinion? Money is not the problem, so what is? He seems not to care if the house is a pigsty-so that will do no good to convince him.
Perhaps point out to him that children of full time moms are far and away less likely to have behavioral problems, attitude problems, do poorly or drop out of school, do drugs, break the law, have unintended pregnancy, etc.
Need proof? Have a look at 50 years back and tell me how the kids, in general, are better today. Show me one who is a bad offender of the things named above who has a SAHM? Hard to find, huh?
Perhaps he thinks SAHMs can do nothing all day. Have him spend a few days with you. It may be a matter of distorted perception.
2007-12-19 05:22:59 · answer #3 · answered by BillyTheKid 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Kick his A**. Sorry but your the one giving him kids and your willing to keep the house clean and make him meals. He should understand that you have a lot on your plate too and its not like you just want to lazy around all day taking care of kids is the hardest job on earth. I heard from a some were that taking care of one child is like having 2 full time jobs. I don't really know what you should tell him but you are pregnant so use your mood swings to your advantage lol. Happy holidays and I hope everything works out for you!
2007-12-19 05:12:20 · answer #4 · answered by There's Art In Everything 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not easy to juggle both, you are not super-WOMAN he is being very inconsiderate. I know how it is, with a child, working full time, being pregnant and having to come home and be a wife to your husband. I have no problem doing it, but under the circumstances it is very exhausting and sometimes can get unhealthy if you aren't given time to care for yourself. It isn't fair to you and your new baby, first trimester is the hardest to get through. He should be more understanding. If your family's finances isn't an issue then it shouldn't be a problem. If he isn't comfortable with it because he feels you have more of the advantage how about compromise on a part time job instead?
2007-12-19 05:25:48 · answer #5 · answered by Flower 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Continue talking about the issue w/ your husband. Maybe the two of you can make a list of the pros & cons of you being a SAHM. Both of you need to keep an open mind so that you can understand each other's perspective.
Also, have you considered working part-time??
2007-12-19 05:10:47 · answer #6 · answered by Proud mother! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you will work from home . Run some ads saying your willing to babysit. That way you can stay home and make some money. And you will have to clean up after the kids aways so you get your cleaning done.
2007-12-19 05:24:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
not fair to him?! excuse me!! what in the hell does he think we stay at home moms do all day?! Its not just some joy ride! We cook, we clean, we tend to kids, who constantly make a mess! its an all day every day job, I would gladly swap places with my husband and go to work while he tended to the kids 24/7, but I dont think he could handle the isolation! thats right... all day everyday with the only people you get to talk to cant talk to you back!
Im a stay at home mom because putting 2-3 kids in daycare would take my entire paycheck anyway! no point in someone else raising my kids when I wouldnt make any money anyway!
best of luck with it!
2007-12-19 05:10:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
my husband also works swing shifts and i work full time. maybe your husband should help you with the household chores. why is it your "job" to take care of your child and the house by yourself? i made a simple policy at our home, when one is cleaning we are both cleaning. now when he works afternoon or midnights i come home to either a partially or completely clean house and dinner in the fridge. on saturday mornings he does the grocery shopping and i do the laundry. when we both pitch in its not so tiring and we both have plenty of time for our daughter.
2007-12-19 05:22:50 · answer #9 · answered by princess 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
make him start doing the dishes, cooking, and child care for your two year old....send him to the grocery store with the child with a list of everything you need in the house. tell him you're going to use your paychecks to hire a live in nanny and a maid. if ya'll can survive on one income then you really should give it a try for the best interests of the kids. seriously though, i know you're tired....i've been there....but you've gotta get that house cleaned up before your child gets sick from it. make your husband pitch in and help. if not, throw out every dish in the house and tell him he needs to buy more.
2007-12-19 05:15:58 · answer #10 · answered by 4Xthe fun 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My husband is an identical. So, I merely stopped. i ended cooking for him and easily prepare dinner for myself and the youngsters, dishes i know he does not like. He chefs his own nutrients now. i ended ironing his clothing. He does it now. i ended cleansing lots. he does not do it and could no longer care much less till his pals come and then he expects me to positioned on a teach, yet i do no longer try this anymore the two. All I do is safeguard the youngsters, do the dishes, make valuable the home is risk-free for my daughter, and coach her. Oh, and our marriage is hell too. We somewhat hate one yet another and he needs to chop up, all through fact he had to do slightly of cleansing. adult adult males are merely super fat overgrown toddlers who want a mommy that isn't blood bearing directly to bone. Marriage is the worst difficulty which could ensue to a girl. forget approximately rape. That is going away. A jerk of a husband does not.
2016-10-08 22:25:50 · answer #11 · answered by stothard 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋