I love my parents very much, and I don't want to hurt them.. But lately all I have been wondering about is my biological mother. I think if I told my parents I wanted to meet her, they would be really upset and disappointed. I just feel that right now is a critical time for me, I'm trying to figure myself out and what I want from life. I think if I met her it would perhaps give me a better perspective on myself. How would I get put in touch with her?
Is this a bad idea? I know my birthmom still thinks of me sometimes, because every so often we get a letter from her (that my parents dont allow me to read). However they tell me certain things, and I know she has a family now.. Two kids aged 3-5 or something. Thinking about it now I'm not even so sure she is going to want me in her life......
2007-12-19 04:49:32 · 7 answers · asked by . 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i dont think its a bad idea at all! If you adopted parents love you then they would be willing to help you find them..I mean yes there your parents ,but its normal tow ant to know who your birth parents are
2007-12-19 04:56:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am adopted as well - there are a number of search engines/organizations to assist in finding your birth mother. I couple of words of concern - you mention that you are not sure your birth mother would want you in her life - if this is the reason why you are searching for her than I would suggest putting it off for a while - She gave you up so you could have a better life - out of love however her life as you say in your question - she has two children - they would be half siblings to you so there is a lot more at stake in your searching. If you want to know medical history, who you look like etc than go ahead - I would also suggest a counsellor for you to help you through this decision - you may not realize it now but finding her could be amazing or extremely heartbreaking. As well, you parents could be able to help and if you explain that you are not searching to replace them just to help you find out your roots(your blood roots)- they may have more info to help you find her more easily. Where were you adopted. If it was in Canada you could apply to the C.A.S as adoption records are being opened. Searching through google should find you an adoption search finder - be wary of paying ay money - the most it should cost is the amount of money needed to file through the actual agency that was part of your adoption. (approx 15-40$) - write down what the reasons for finding her are - it also may make it easier to talk to your parents and have them assist you in the process.
2007-12-19 05:00:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is common to find your birth mother. Your parents may get upset thinking that you wouldn't love them anymore. I think it is a legitimate need on your part. The problem could be that you might fantasize how this relationship will be and it may not be that way. I adopted my daughter and she found her siblings and a couple of aunts. Her mother had died. It was part good and part not so good. The siblings, especially her sister are not so responsible and she has been hurt by their casual lack of interest or promises they do not keep. She vents to me about this when it happens. Good luck.
2007-12-23 03:13:06 · answer #3 · answered by Simmi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I also was adopted, and it is normal to want to know about your birth parents. It doesn't sound like your parents will be very helpful in your search. If you know what agency or court were your case was handled, they can sometimes assist you depending on you state privacy laws. There are Internet sites as well. Many of those orgs. will cost you some money though. If you know her name and where she might be living try the Internet whit pages. good luck
2007-12-19 06:41:25 · answer #4 · answered by love my life 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she writes, then she thinks of you.
You are 18 years old now. Your an adult and your adoptive paretns don't have the right keeping the letters from you any longer.
Sit them down and tell them what you want. If their feelings get hurt, they'll get over it once they realize they still have your love!! Remember to thank them for being who they are and make sure you let them know you love them. They need to hear it!!
2007-12-19 05:01:57 · answer #5 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A great (and free) resource helping people searching for their biological parents and family is http://www.findmybiologicalparents.com They also offer a free registry.
2007-12-20 12:13:31 · answer #6 · answered by Miranda T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not a bad idea go to ancestry.com and see if you can find some history about yourself and your familes history
2007-12-19 04:53:30 · answer #7 · answered by gasguy695 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋