This friend and I met at a chruch group and dated for 3-4 months. I fell in love with him and although he seemed to connect with me more than anyone else he's ever dated he got very scared and realized he wasn't ready to be in a relationship. Now we're just friends and must see each other through the church group. Is this a bad idea? Can we really be friends or am I kidding myself?
2007-12-19 04:02:35 · 25 answers · asked by saboe 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you two can keep it really just friends then yes. You are going to have to let go of those feelings from him though because when he moves on if you still have feelings then you will set yourself up to get hurt.
2007-12-19 04:06:11 · answer #1 · answered by Jessa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It never works out "just being friends". You were only together for 4 months? He probably didn't want a relationship. A lot of young guys don't . Remember girls mature faster than guys.
Why not just go on a date once and a while? Try not to be too clingy and don't be a stalker! I know it's hard, but maybe give it a shot. Don't pressure him into going out more than he wants too. See how it works out like this. Maybe something will blossom.
2007-12-19 12:11:28 · answer #2 · answered by crazycaligirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you could use some advice from a lady called Rori Raye. She's excellent. Although I haven't read her book, she does have a newsletter (via email) which will leave you feeling so much more empowered and able to handle the sticky situation in which you find yourself with this "friend." Friends don't sleep together. Past, present or future. Once you cross that line, it is no longer a "friendship" and next to impossible to revert back to that relationship level. It's like trying to un-ring a bell. Try Rori's site. Or, Google her name.
Best of luck!
2007-12-19 12:11:42 · answer #3 · answered by papergirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very hard, almost impossible, to go from a romantic connection to being friends once more. It's not completely out of the question, but the two of you should definately keep a distance until all flames have been smoldered, otherwise you'll both wind up hurt. Try going to the youth group to find God, that sounds like a better solution. ^_^
Cheers
2007-12-19 12:06:56 · answer #4 · answered by Sarah P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely!! One of my best guy friends is one of my exes. We have a great relationship now just being friends. He's someone I know I can turn to if I ever need anything, and he knows he can do the same with me. It is possible, although there may be times where it hurts to see them with someone else, but you just have to keep your chin up. There is a reason that it didn't work out with him as a boyfriend, but that's no reason to end a friendship.
2007-12-19 12:17:48 · answer #5 · answered by ArmyWife52508 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe me i know what its like. But the guy I dated me and him were off and on for 3 years. We tried to be friends but I guess it just didnt work. Remember, things only get awkward because people make it awkward. It doesnt have to be. It IS possible to stay friends with someone after breaking it off, but the people involved have to be mature enough to handle it. If being friends with him is hurting you, then tell him that you think its best that you guys dont talk for a while until you get your stuff straight.
2007-12-19 12:08:38 · answer #6 · answered by *aimee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe it is possible, however I also believe you have to keep your feelings in persptive and don't try too hard to be 'just friends'. it will take a while since you fell in love with this person. When we truely love someone, we want the best for them, even it it means they are in a relationship with someone else.
2007-12-19 12:11:21 · answer #7 · answered by g.glorianna 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure you can.. but you have to give it time. It's hard to go from a relationship to a friendship quickly as you'll still have feelings toward each other. One of you may resent the other, or still be in love. When you hang out as friends too quickly, it may still feel romantic. If you give it time, your feelings may fade which makes it easier to be compatible as friends.
2007-12-19 12:06:54 · answer #8 · answered by Olivia J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's possible to remain friends, but only based on the maturity level and emotional level of you both. Set your boundaries with one another right from the start. Don't try to be "best friends", it ain't gonna happen. Just be acquaintances and if through the years you become better friends that's fine, but only once you've both moved on.
2007-12-19 12:06:05 · answer #9 · answered by ballistik 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can still be friends. You've connected with that person and why shouldnt you be? If the two of you hit it off well, and enjoy doing things together there is no reason why you shouldnt be.
2007-12-19 12:10:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋