A friend of mine is going through a horrible time with his ex that he has two kids with. She just found out that he has been seeing another girl (even though she has a boyfriend & is pregnant by him as we speak) so she is trying to take the kids away from him. They are his kids & his name is on the birth certificates.. BOTH of them. Doesnt he have some kind of rights? Isn't she NOT allowed to do that, specially because of her reasons? Please help. What should he do in the mean time to see his kids before they go to court?
2007-12-19 03:12:06 · 18 answers · asked by seeingstars278 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Added details..
He does keep a log of everything about the children.. like the days he seems them, when he bought clothes, diapers, ect, & espicially when he gave the mother money. I wanted to add to, that his new girlfriend I think has been around the kids once (shes no harm though, she was a nanny for two years, & helped her sister raise twins), but however, the mothers new boyfriend does stay at the home over night where the kids are, and is always around them.
2007-12-19 03:33:25 · update #1
He must keep his cool. This is not easy but he must not do anything that might put him at a disadvantage when they do go to court. While kids are minors, these things don't necessarily go too well. He can only pray for the best. And know that once they become adults, nobody, be it mother or courts, can stop children from seeing their fathers or whoever they want to see.
Like I said, not a situation to be in but c'est la vie...
Good luck to your friend.
Smile.
2007-12-19 03:19:54 · answer #1 · answered by OmiUbiaja 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if she is doing the same thing, it will certainly level the playing field so that he can't use the new boyfriend and pregnancy as leverage against her in court. Two wrongs don't make a right, I know, but if he really cared about the kids he should have stayed on the high road for their sakes so he would have that advantage in court as well as because it's the right thing to do in the best interests of the children.
The best he can likely do now is "damage control". He should quickly and carefully establish some boundaries and parameters in his relationship with the other girl and be able to come up with evidence to prove it in court in order to somehow distinguish his behavior from hers. No overnights, no dating in front of the kids, as much of an "above reproach" position as he is able to assume at this point.
The best he is likely to manage at this point is some sort of joint custody. Cheapest and ultimately most productive way to accomplish this would be through some sort of co-parenting mediation outside court. If they could come up with an agreement both of them could live with, the court would likely honor it, and it's very well what the judge may force them to try and settle anyway.
2007-12-19 11:20:23 · answer #2 · answered by arklatexrat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow it amazes me at how many lawyers are on here lol. but seriously I have a friend in the same deal. My lawyer (friend)said this to him. Depending on the state: If the fathers name is on the birth certificate that does not give him guardianship or even visitation rights if they were never married. He has to establish the fact that he's visited his children in the past (until mom said no) continue to support them financially (keep all reciepts) contact a family lawyer to petition for visitation. It is expensive and takes a while but by all means don't attack the mother when she says no it only makes them worse and it upsets the children. One more thing I believe he also stated that custody is a totally seperate issue from visitation and unless the mother is unfit she will remain the custodial partne. Just continue to be a good father and in the end justice will prevail. Good Luck to him and the children!
2007-12-19 11:24:53 · answer #3 · answered by Indie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All fathers have parental rights. How those are granted and enforced can vary from state to state. Generically, if paternity has been established and he has not been proven to be an abusive parent (in a court of law), then what the mother of his children are threatening to do - well - it just won't happen.
A couple of thoughts:
1) If he doesn't have a lawyer - he needs to get one asap.
2) If he doesn't have official, visitation in place - he needs to take care of that asap.
3) If she denies access to the children - he needs to inform his lawyer asap - and that lawyer can file the appropriate paperwork to enforce child visitation.
This link gives specific steps to take - it's a great website to answer the types of questions that one might have around visitation rights: http://www.deltabravo.net/faq/visit_ans3.php
2007-12-19 11:24:14 · answer #4 · answered by Kristina F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its awful when families split up, but he does have rights. he can see the children and there is nothing the mother can do. he needs to see them alone, not with his new girlfriend and regularly. he needs to go to a solicitor or the citizens advice were a letter will be sent on his behalf stating his intentions and may possibly arrange visits for him.
depending on how he pays her money for the children, he could refuse to pay her until he has access.
i have raised my son alone and it really gets me when mothers don't allow the father to play an active role(unless the father is dangerous or nasty) children need both parents however the situation.
hope this helps!x
2007-12-19 11:23:10 · answer #5 · answered by zoezeph 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is on the birth certificates and he can prove the children are his he has just as much right to them as she does. As far as what he can do til court I'm not sure. As long as he doesn't have a history w/the law he'll be fine. If I was him and he wants to kep those kids. I would start building my case against her if he even has anything to build it with, in case she decides to fight dirty.
It's a damn shame that women have to be so stupid about things like this. As much as I wouldn't like it if I was in that situation I wouldn't try and ruin it for my kids, unless I felt they might be in danger.
2007-12-19 11:19:49 · answer #6 · answered by dvnlady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They both have rights . He needs to seek an injunction and court hearing immediatley. Regaardless of the adults actions punishing the children will be the final effect. they do not understand why they cant see their parent and its not fair to them. Hello both parties need to grow up, try mediation before the harm there children for life
2007-12-19 11:19:08 · answer #7 · answered by dottie42 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't stop keeping records the judge will want to look at that. Take her to court and/or contact a lawyer if he doesn't already have one and tell the lawyer what is going on and what he has for records and go to court and get it in writing when he should have visitation until everything is settled. Good luck!!
2007-12-19 12:08:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he can go see a lawyer and ask for visitation rights but he will have to go to court she can stop him seeing them up untill he goes to court. and court can take a long time, also hate to say this but all she has to do is go see a lawyer and say he was abusive etc and put an injunction against him its easily done the best thing he can do is go see a lawyer asap
2007-12-19 11:17:45 · answer #9 · answered by Tina H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very messy, it's what attorneys make their money on, every area is different and it has to be considered locally. The big thing is not to do anything in anger but do seek out, by investigation an inexpensive compassionate attorney. Good luck
2007-12-19 11:18:44 · answer #10 · answered by geiniusbobiknow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋