Being corrected????

Question

my fiance is always correcting me, especially when i comes to pronounciation of certain words... which I just pronounce based on where I grew up...she actually gets mad if dont say them the way she thinks they should be said...this to me is the stupidest reason to get upset at someone. also im an honors student, in grad school, and have never had a gpa below 3.5, if anyone should be correcting people it should be me, but I DONT! that is why i find it so annoying when people correct me especially over superfilious things like pronounciation. how do i deal with this, i dont want to be mean to my fiance and put her in her place as my ego tells me to.

Answer 1

Ask her nicely to stop doing it, remind her a few times if she continues and then if she still does it put her in her place.

Answer 2

That is a toughy... Is she from somewhere completely different than you? Like you're from New England and she's southern, that sort of thing? Because then it's just dialectical and as long as you're not prounouncing the word so hideously that nobody knows what you're saying, it shouldn't matter. (A buddy of mine has a couple of words that he just ~butchers~)

The best advice I could give is that, since you're engaged I'm assuming you do sit and talk one on one now and again. Next time it's just the two of you (so she doesn't feel embarassed, of course) and she corrects you just stop and give a heartfelt, "I know sometimes the way I say things is strange, but it's just one of those things." Point out to her that you ~learned~ to say it this way growing up, and there's a strong chance that you'll ~learn~ to pronounce words the way she wants you to. Then tell her that you know she's just trying to help you learn faster, but that really she's just throwing off your train of thought (DO NOT say "It really ticks me off!"). Be diplomatic about it, most of all. Dont' start an argument, just tell her that "A" is something she does and "B" is how it makes you feel or the effect it has on you (which probably isn't the effect she was going for). Odds are, she's not going to just suddenly stop. But she might at least make the effort - or slip in a quick "sorry" when she catches herself doing it - and eventually she'll get used to your speech patterns and will probably stop altogether.

Answer 3

OK - Your pronounciation is important. It is what makes what you say clearly understandable to other with whom you speak.
You might listen to toher speaking and try ot emulate their speech patterns - blend in. Yes, there are dialects in the US, Canada, England and other places. This happens as a reslt of influences of outside languages and isolation of speaking groups. Dialets identify where we come from. Naturally, you will have the speech patterns of your original home.
As for cirrections, Best you have a little chat with your GF. Be open and honest about your feelings. If she corrects you - do it when you are alone, listen carefully, repeat the word a few times. She should have the respect for you not to do this in front of other people. that is not the way to go.

Best thing - tell her that it is annoying and maybe embarassing. Keep it in th family, so to speak.

If she keeps this up, then you have to decide what you want to do about ti. Termination of the relationship is one answer but maybe not the right answer. That must be your decision.

Answer 4

When I was five my family moved from Brooklyn New York to Minnesota. I was put into speech therapy because I "mispronounced Rs"! I did, I pronounced them like everyone in Brooklyn and nobody in Minnesota's schools. It took three years but I at last got the Minnesota "Rs" down perfect two months before we moved back to Brooklyn.
Talk to you girlfriend, tell her there are ways people pronounce things that are different in other parts of the country. Ask her to understand. If she keeps riding you dump her quicker then you would a hot coal.

Answer 5

Get ready for a life of aggravation with this woman. She will nit pick you to death unless you put a stop to it now. You don't have to be mean about it. Just say, "That is the way we say things where I come from and I don't intend to change. I'm sorry if it bothers you but you need to get used to it. I don't correct you when you speak."
Her response will tell you alot about her including whether you want to continue the relationship.

Answer 6

First of all, Calm down. Then, the next time she corrects you simply tell her in a calm voice that you dont appreciate her corrections and that you are trying to do better but will take some time so she needs to give you some breathing room. If she corrects you infront of other people dont say anything in front of them because that will embarse her but later just sweetly mention it to her. Dont be mad- just tell her calmly.

Answer 7

If you come from a part of the country that has an "accent", either she accepts that as part of you, or she doesn't. If she doesn't, she may not be the person you want to live with for the rest of your life. Criticism about anything, if it is constant, can wear down a relationship.

Answer 8

Tell her you don't like being corrected, and you won't stand for it much longer. It is extremely rude for her to do that to you all the time. If she doesn't respect you enough not to embarrass you like she's doing, why should you respect her and not put her in her place?

Answer 9

Emotionally mature people do not publicly correct pronunciation of words by their significant others.

You can either continue in the same pattern, ask her to correct you privately, or tell her what you have told us, letting the chips fall where they may.

Answer 10

just ask her very nicly to stop correct her and if she does get mad then there are always ways to fix the problem by flowers, jewlery bet dont give money to fix it unless she loves to shop