If you were once a teenager than you know what it's like. So many rules... but one of them esspecially is DONT LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY. To me personally, I dont think it's such a big deal if you do it becuase it was "correct" at that time..? I know that dosent make sense but an incorrect way to do it would to get back at your 8th grade boyfriend.. now that's stupid. But anyways... When do you think its a good age to consider it? Please dont say when you get married becuase we all know that 98% percent of people who get married have allready done it 4 - 5 times... or more. I'm only 14... but I wouldn't want to go to college and not know what to do if in that situation. Of course... I wont jump to it right now... that's dumb. I would wait till I found a good guy who understood me and stuff like that.... but lets not get all mushy like that... it's time for answers.
2007-12-19 02:53:45 · 15 answers · asked by imbuhnanahz 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
It's very simple: Do not have sex until you are ready to take care of a baby.
While it is unfair in general scheme of things, the simple fact is that women get pregnant if they have sex, not men. Not every time, and for some, not ever. But you don't know where you are on that scale, do you? Some people get pregnant in spite of birth control, and even with birth control, accidents happen.
Becoming pregnant is one of the dangers of having sex (you know about all the other stuff -- HIV, STDs, etc., etc.). But becoming pregnant WILL change your entire life, regardless of whether you choose to have an abortion, put it up for adoption or keep it. If you choose abortion, you will always remember it and wonder. You may be at peace with your decision, but you never forget it, and it will always be a shadow on your soul. Putting a baby up for adoption means that there's a piece of your heart forever out in the world that you may never be able to express your love to. And keeping the baby means that your life is suddenly not your own -- for at least the next 18 years.
Until you are ready to deal with a baby emotionally and financially, then you aren't ready to have sex.
That doesn't mean that people don't have sex, anyway. It feels good, and it's very easy for women, especially, to convince themselves that having sex is a way to keep a guy, or is a way to express their "love" for a guy. I will tell you this: No man worth having who truly loves you would want to potentially ruin your life with casual sex. (And, frankly, at younger ages, even guys can fool themselves into thinking they are "in love" with a girl, if they think that sex will be involved.)
It's also a matter of self-respect. Your virginity is a sign that you have not given yourself casually, that you understand profound commitment, and that you are prepared to wait to share yourself with someone that holds an important place in your life and your heart. Notice I did not say "married." You don't know how important someone is to your life OR your heart, though, until you have gotten to know them well (and I don't mean 2 dates!) -- and, frankly, you can't get to know someone well until you have a pretty good handle on knowing yourself well. All of those conditions generally mean that you are older, rather than younger, when you finally give yourself to someone.
And, finally: When you contemplate having sex with a man, ask yourself: Is this *really* the man you want to remember for the rest of your life? Because the man you give your virginity to is going to be someone you will never forget.
2007-12-19 04:14:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
No one can answer this one for you without it being based solely on personal opinion. I lost it at 17, I was in high school, and I used a condom. Maybe it was right or wrong, but it was a choice I made. I had the chance to do it at 15, but I knew it wasn't the right time or the right guy. 14 sounds too young to me, but for me 17 was ok. I did not have any moral objection and I am not religious. I did not turn into a major s!ut and did not get pregnant. I think I had sex a couple times in high school altogether- as not everyone who loses it young does it all the time. There are many kids who just see it as the next logical step in a relationship, and that is not always the case. You should be old enough to know your consequences, emotionally and physically, and mature enough to walk into Walgreens and buy condoms. You should also know what you want to do when it comes to getting pregnant or contracting an STD. Are you mature enough to tell your parents? Most kids don't know the answers to these questions, and that is why there are so many kids getting pregnant or just being all-around stupid when it comes to sex. Good luck.
2007-12-19 03:58:02 · answer #2 · answered by Dig It 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think losing your virginity in high school is a bad idea. Very few high school relationships last past graduation, and I think that your first time should be meaningful and with someone who will be around for a while. Plus, in high school, the rumors will flly and everyone will know within a week. I think it's a much better plan to wait until college when you're in a serious relationship. I'm 22 now and I first had sex at 18 with my now fiance. In college, it's much easier to have a serious and sexual relationship because you don't live at home, and you're a great deal more mature (at least I was). Don't feel pressured to do it "at the right time" because that just shows you're not ready. That's not a reason to have sex. Wait until you've at least been dating for a while (more than a couple of weeks!) and get to know them for who they are. I am very happy with my own decision to have sex at 18- we weren't married, but we loved each other and still do. Wait for the right person, not a certain age.
2007-12-19 03:07:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Life experience... I lost my virginity at the middle/end of high school because I thought I had to to be loved by my boyfriend at the time. Today looking back, I would have wanted something different for me at that time especially since I now know how beautiful that intimacy is. Darling, you are young and will have many many many years to do it!!! What is important is that you are NOT doing it to make someone else happy. There is no rush, a lot of responsibility and comes with sex. From my experience, my suggestion would be to wait until you're at least with a guy you want to marry. And when you first start dating, you can't know what that feels like until you've had a little experience behind you. If in doubt... wait... you will never run out of time!!!
2007-12-19 03:04:09 · answer #4 · answered by JK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you get married is the best time. You shouldn't have sex until you are ready to deal with the consequences of bringing a child into the world. Even with birth control, etc. there is still a chance of getting pregnant. Children do best when they are raised in an environment with two loving parents who are committed to each other. Saving sex for marriage will save you a lot of possible heartache and will be the best possible thing you can do for your future children.
By the way, I'm not so sure that the percentage of people who had sex before marriage is as high as you think. The media and the way people talk nowadays make it seem like everyone does it, but that's not necessarily true.
2007-12-19 06:21:23 · answer #5 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it's more important to be ready for it than to focus on some particular age. Do yourself a favor and don't have sex until you feel completely ready for it and for things that might come out of it. Remember that sex is not just sex. You could get pregnant (even contraceptions are not 100% safe) or you could get some STD. Don't think "it won't happen to me". Start having sex when you are ready to deal with the possible consequences, when you've found someone good to be with (keep in mind that he might accidentally become the father of your child, so choose a partner well) and feel completely ready, emotionally and physically.
Some people feel ready at age 17, some at 20 etc. Some people start before they are really ready and regret it later. So don't rush into anything you might regret, just take your time. Only you will know when you're really ready.
2007-12-19 03:09:01 · answer #6 · answered by undir 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kudos to you for thinking ahead. Before you know it peer pressure will hit you and if you are not already firm in your vision and decision you could succumb to someone else's.
Senior year and early college is an acceptable time to encounter sex for the first time in my opinion. Most guys are extremely immature at that age so be careful who it is with. Some guys will say anything and I mean anything to get you to do it and this type could tell everyone about it the next day. Do think of the possible fall out when choosing when and with who.
It is your choice and your body. Choose wisely and again I applaud you for thinking ahead!
2007-12-19 03:07:17 · answer #7 · answered by Alexa Fine 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In your entire life you will have one virginity to surrender to one person -- do not take that lightly. Along with surrendering your virginity you also have to be fully and complete aware of all the issues that come alone with it: emotional impact, STD's, transmission of HPV which causes cervical cancer, you could get pregnant, etc.
You're 14 -- don't even think about it right now. High school is not the place to loose your virginty because you are not emotionally and cognitively aware of the implications yet. College - a little better. Ideally, it is with a person who respects you for who you are and you plan to be with for a long time.
2007-12-19 02:59:42 · answer #8 · answered by Susie D 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
guys can pretend to be a "good guy who understands you"
and no matter how much you believe that he isn't pretending......he probably is
-seriously
I know times are changing.....and I'm only 24
but it worries me that so many young kids are having sex....
honestly....most people my age don't know enough to do it safely
and by "safe" I mean for you, the guy, and for the child that might come in to this world with two parents (if you're lucky) who probably aren't ready for it
"okay" is an opinion thing
and putting it into a window of time doesn't work for me....
some people are 18 and smart enough to do it responsibly
and some people are 35 and don't know how to do it responsibly
2007-12-19 03:02:08 · answer #9 · answered by |▒▒Kebert Xela▒▒| 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your asking others if its OK, than you really are worried about your self worth. There is no correct age to lose your virginity, but you should be ready, both physically and mentally/emotionally.
Dont lose it to fit in, you will regret it.
Dont worry about it now, your only 14, worry about it when you are ready for it.
2007-12-19 03:00:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋