I had a divorce from a bad relationship. My three year old girl has not got into saying that she wants to be a baby. It goes from wanting to drink from a bottle, trying to put on old baby clothes and even talking baby talk. I asked her why and eventually it came out that 'mummy and daddy like babies not big girls' - it seems to be that somehow she thinks the divorce and upheaval has something to do with her and the fact she is not a baby anymore!!!! I do not know where she got that and we both try to reassure her that we like 'big girls' etc but she still persists in pretending to be a baby. She only does this some times, not all the time and her language skills are pretty advanced for her age.
Please advise, thanks
2007-12-19 02:42:29 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Regression is a pretty common occurrence for a toddler after a majorly stressful event such as a divorce. It may not hurt to seek counseling for her to help get over the event.
2007-12-19 02:46:26 · answer #1 · answered by banshee1068 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Aww poor baby (or not baby rather!)
A divorce is really hard for any child to understand, especially one so young! Its very common for a child to of course think its there fault, something they did, or didnt do. jus give her lots of extra love, and make sure she knows that you and daddy still love her just as much as when she was a baby.
You could try telling her you love her even more now that shes a big girl and can do lots of things she couldnt do when she was a baby. Like how now she can go for walks with mommy, play games, color, tell stories. things you two do together. And make sure you spend a little extra time with her. She'll get used to things after awhile.
By the way.. maybe you should pack up the baby stuff (old baby clothes) shes such a big girl she can help! maybe buy a very special plastic bin to keep her old clothes in. and once there in they can be put away somewhere not to be played with until shes alittle older.
2007-12-19 04:30:22 · answer #2 · answered by Angel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I bet half of all children go through the "I wanna be a baby" thing and it has nothing to do with divorce. Babies get held, cuddled, cooed at and all of that is reassuring - the world is a little for a three year old and being a baby was so nice. Sometimes they want to be puppies or kittens. Really common behavior and very normal.
If you and your ex had a bad relationship then getting divorced so that your child could be in a happy relationship with each of you separately and not have to be around you together with tons of stress and tension seems to be a good thing. You'll make yourself crazy if you continue to second guess all of your decisions.
2007-12-19 02:51:26 · answer #3 · answered by Mike 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep reassuring her. Explain it as throughly as you think she'll understand.
She'll get bored of it eventually when she realises it doesnt change the situation.
distract her with grown up girl games when she insists on being a baby. and remove all dummies, bottles etc so she cant use them as props.
And dont feel guilty... everything you've done you've had her best interests at heart. No child should be brought up along side a bad relationship. Divorce was the right thing to do.
2007-12-19 22:16:58 · answer #4 · answered by Just me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep doing what you are doing, maybe try rewarding her when she acts like a big girl and not when she acts like a baby. Or you could take her out for a fun day but make her promise that she has to act like a big girl or you will go home. Keep reassuring her that you guys like big girls, this is just a stage and I'm sure it will work out, especially once she starts to realize that a divorce was what is best, especially if you guys fought before. Good luck!
2007-12-19 02:48:07 · answer #5 · answered by ♥ Mee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most likely this is just her way of coping with the situation. A lot of people don't think divorce is that hard on children that young, but it is.
If you are concerned tho, talk to your pediatrician and see if she can recommend a counselor, or if she can't seek out pediatric psychologists.
Your doing the best you can, but you might be able to get some new ideas on how to help her cope and new more effective ways to talk to her to help her understand.
Even with professional help tho, it may take her a while to adjust to the situation and as long as you and her father can remain civil in front of her and keep her as far away from any conflicts the two of you may have, she'll be fine.
2007-12-19 02:54:58 · answer #6 · answered by GambitGrrl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I would tell her that she's still your little girl and that just because she's grown up does not mean that's why you and wife got a divorce. Let her know that you love her any way that she is and nothing will get in the way of that. Even if she is a big girl.
2007-12-19 02:48:07 · answer #7 · answered by shorty101 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she learned this from somewhere or someone - either she saw you looking at a baby with interest or (do you have a baby that she is jealous of?) she has seen other people fawning over babies...
this is VERY common in homes with new babies.. the older kids see how much atttention is given to babies and they want the attention.. I doubt the divorce has anything to do with it...
is she in a day care where she sees babies get attention?? do you watch baby shows???
best thing is to reward her with attention every time she does something mature.. remind her that babies are basically useless.. its much better when a person can do stuff... DONT FAWN OVER BABIES...
2007-12-19 03:14:26 · answer #8 · answered by CF_ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
positive reinforcement. She will eventually get out of it but divorce on children is always hard. just stay positive and she will get better. no fighting around her. dont make her the go between for arguments. (you would be surprised how many parents do that) just make it as easy a transition as possible. Good luck
2007-12-19 02:47:57 · answer #9 · answered by starsdelite 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Because she is three, it is just a phase (but I am sure you want to comfort her during this phase). Due to her young age though, it may be somewhat hard to explain to her that the divorce s not about her, but you should definately try!! Just guys both should talk to her (try to do it together) and explain to her that you love her regardless. Also, its piviotal to ensure that she gets to see and spend time with both parents
2007-12-19 02:48:33 · answer #10 · answered by Da1Nonly 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋