What can I say to my girlfriend whos dad just commited suicide?

Answer 1

"I am here for you."

Answer 2

In addition to what the others said, let her know that family of suicides often feel guilty, thinking that they should have recognised the signs, and done something about it. Go to http://www.mind.org.uk/ and type "grief" in the taskbar, and enter. Call: (U.S.A.) 1800 445 4808, or Hospice (phone book). Email [e-mail] Chatrooms and forums: http://www.chatmag.com/topics/health/grief.html and http://talkingminds.15.forumer.com/ and http://messageboards.ivillage.com/ Other websites: http://www.griefnet.org/ and http://www.helpguide.org/ and http://www.mental-health-abc.com/ and http://www.boblivingstone.com/?q=node30 Understand that there are often several stages of grief.
The stages are:

Denial: The initial stage: "It can't be happening."
Anger: "Why ME? It's not fair?!" (either referring to God, oneself, or anybody perceived, rightly or wrongly, as "responsible")
Bargaining: "Just let me live to see my son graduate."
Depression: "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"
Acceptance: "It's going to be OK."
Kübler-Ross originally applied these stages to any form of catastrophic personal loss (job, income, freedom). This also includes the death of a loved one and divorce. Kübler-Ross also claimed these steps do not necessarily come in order, nor are they all experienced by all patients, though she stated a person will always experience at least two.

See http://www.amazon.com/ for books on the various stages. After a while, consider making a photoalbum/scrapbook and/or a shrine, in remembrance, and set aside one day per month on which to reflect. Many religious organisations offer counselling, or you may feel more comfortable with a therapist, to express your thoughts, and feelings. Journalling may help in this. If the depression continues, visit your doctor, and see depression treatments, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris in section 2.
Suggested Resources on Grief and Mourning

Livingstone, B. (2002). Redemption of the Shattered: A Teenager's Healing Journey through Sandtray Therapy, http://www.boblivingstone.com/.

Livingstone, B. (Planned August, 2007). The Body-Mind-Soul Solution: Healing Emotional Pain through Exercise, Pegasus Books.

Simon, S, & Drantell, J. J. (1998). A Music I No Longer Heard: The Early Death of a Parent, Simon and Schuster.

Grollman, E. (1995). Living when a Loved One has Died, Beacon Press.

James, J. W. & Friedman, R. (1998). The Grief Recovery Handbook, Collins.

Worden, J. W. (2001). Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Professional, Springer Publishing. Print, and give this to her.

Answer 3

Here are suggestions from CAMH:

How Can I Help My Friend?

Showing a willingness to listen is probably the most important thing you can do for a friend who is a survivor of suicide. It may be distressing at first, but you’re not expected to provide answers. Instead, you can be a comforting, safe place for someone who desperately needs to talk.

What you can do:

Listen with non-judgmental compassion
Understand that your friend will need time to deal with their loss
Avoid clichés
Talk about the person who has died
Offer practical assistance such as shopping, cooking, driving
Find and offer information on resources, support groups, etc.
Be aware of difficult times, like anniversaries and holidays

Answer 4

You don't have to say anything. Just be there to comfort her when she needs you, and if she needs space then give it to her. Listen when she wants to talk and give her a shoulder to cry on. Remember as well that her emotions will be all over the place so if she is snappy or argumentative with you just let it pass.
I'm sorry to hear of her loss, especially at this time of year!

Answer 5

My boyfriend's dad committed suicide a couple of months ago..I had no idea what to say either. I just apologised, and told him I didn't know what to say. Don't worry, because she will have a lot to say. Let her say it and just be supportive.

Answer 6

You can't say anything. Ask her if she needs anything, and it may take forever to get an answer from her, but don't push the subject. Just be there with her, ditch plans that you had for a few days, and explain to those you ditch that your girlfriend needs you for a while. Hang out with her, follow her lead on what she wants to do. If she wants to lay in bed and cry, sit with her. If she wants to be with her family (you included), be with her family. If she wants to go out and drive around to not have to think for awhile, go out with her. Her mind will automatically react one way, you can only follow with what it is.

Answer 7

let her know that it's not her fault and that's all. People in those situations don't need someone to say something philosophical...they just need to know that someone is there for them 24/7 whenever they are ready to talk. Just be a shoulder for her to cry on and let her know you love her and are there for her! and tell her that God is always there even when we can't be and he is always holding us when we feel as though we can't stand because the pain is too much!
GOD BLESS HER AND HER FAMILY! and you for caring enough to want to do the best thing for her!

Answer 8

Just be there for her. It is bad enough he would do something like this to himself and leave the burden for his next of kin and family to deal with. Just comfort her and whatever you do just agree with what she says cause she may not quite realise what she is saying at this point. If she asks you why would he..? Just say, I am not sure...but he is okay now...
Justbe her shoulder and let her grieve in any way she needs to.
LLR

Answer 9

Just say you are sorry for her loss. Then just be there for her, let her be sad, let her cry if she needs to. Don't try to make her feel better or stop her crying. She needs to feel bad at this point, it's the natural response. In other words, be supportive.

Answer 10

Your presence is what she needs the most,
and a place to feel quiet and safe.
Words are seldom required.
Prayer or calling a Minister is helpful.

Answer 11

There is nothing you can say to be honest that will take away the pain and shock that she is feeling. Just be there for her and tell her you are there for her day/night.