My mom's constantly putting me down socially.
For example,
I was going to meet a friend for coffee and she remarked, 'He doesn't want to have dinner with you, he doesn't have time for you.' That's beside the point, it's not like we were going to have dinner and he changed his mind.
I was arranging to meet a friend, who's really popular, for dinner and she remarked, 'She doesn't want to meet you, she's got more important things to do with her time. Do you actually think she has the time for you?' Well, turns out she did. When I told her that she simply remarked, 'That's a surprise, she's not going to see you anymore after this.' That wasn't the case.
It's quite puzzling. I actually have an active social life and a large circle of friends. Why is she constantly saying things like that? What's the best way to respond? Simply ignore her remarks? I've tried telling her that it bothers me but it hasn't stopped. In fact, it's happening more frequently.
2007-12-19 01:05:31 · 11 answers · asked by utternutter 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She may want more of your time but her approach is very disfunctional. Can you ask her directly why she is saying that? If you never noticed this sort of behavior before then something new is happening to your mom. Take care of yourself. If your mom is not going to change, don't give her comments any weight in deciding what you do and recognize that your mom has a problem here. Good luck.
2007-12-23 03:26:12 · answer #1 · answered by Simmi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she has always done this, maybe she is just one of those negative and pessimistic people who always think the glass is half empty, not half full. Maybe she was brought up to feel that it is difficult or impossible to achieve nice things, and that one should not expect anything much, because you will be disappointed. If she is always like this, just ignore it, you won't change her except by proving that things do not always turn out badly.
On the other hand it could be a sign of jealousy because you are having a better time than she ever had. If this is her problem, just say "don't be silly" or "stop trying to bring me down", so that she perceives that you have seen through her.
2007-12-19 01:30:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps your mom is "projecting," which is like seeing herself in you, and these responses are comments she might make with regard to herself.
She may not actually think she's hurting you by putting you down, but it's easy to see how hurtful these sort of statements can be.
I'd ignore them, if I were you, or shrug them off. You're better than that, anyway. Sounds as if your mom needs a social life, though, and if/when she gets one, this may clear up a bit.
Good luck.
2007-12-19 01:16:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow ...that is a very strange thing for a mom to say....I guess I would consider asking her with a concerned voice if you can....Mom why do you say things like that...what are you thinking/or your hopes when you say that to me? Are you OK?
Sometimes when people...even moms are messing up...you just have to saysomething like..."mom that hurts my feelings, If you can't stop saying things like that I will have to either ignore you or not tell you about my social plans" (which might be needed) sorry she and thus you are having a hard time.
2007-12-19 01:43:07 · answer #4 · answered by Kimberly W 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like mom is jealous of you and may not have anything going on in her own life. i wouldnt keep putting up with that though, tell her if she wants to belike that then you wont come around. shes your mother and should support you in things that you do, not bash you. yes ignore her remarks and when she starts saying thingslike that, just getup and tell her you dont have time to listen to her and leave.
2007-12-19 01:14:57 · answer #5 · answered by jstagirl1969 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
no longer something your mom has performed is prohibited or surprising. discomfort killers regulate habit and reason drowsiness. super deal. She is going on dates and in chat rooms. good for her! She merits an outlet of happiness. relax and innovations your sixteen 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous company.
2016-10-08 22:13:54 · answer #6 · answered by cicconi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so do not tell your maom about your personal life anymore..She will feel snubbed and will eventually ask her why you are not sharing this with her. Then this gives you the perfect opportunity to tell her why.
2007-12-19 02:03:16 · answer #7 · answered by momof3 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she could possibly be jealous yes even parents can be but on the other hand it could be sickness she seems to give oout signs of bi-polar disorder id have her checked dude =\
2007-12-19 01:14:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay calm.Dont worry.I suggest just talk 2 her abt this.She's just concerned abt u,Thats y such behaviour
2007-12-19 01:13:23 · answer #9 · answered by rising star 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she is jealous that you have all these friends and she doesn't.....so she tears you down.
2007-12-19 01:43:21 · answer #10 · answered by Been There Done That 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋