"Birds and the Bees"?

Question

When my daughter was younger the usual "birds and bees" answers were adequate. Now that she is getting older her questions are becoming more spefic. How much information is to little or to much. How much detail is to little or to much.
I dont want to brush off her questions but at the same time not sure how much she can handle.

Answer 1

the reason we have the highest rate of teen pregnancies in the world is because parents are so timid about sexual education tell your daughter everything she needs to know not what you think she should know

Answer 2

It depends on the child really. Some kids can handle the straight up, and others need more of a gentle touch. Most physchologists will recommend for parents to be open and frank with their children but you also have to know where to draw the lines, to some extent.

For example, when my girl was about 4 or 5 she started to want to know where babies came from. I wasn't incredibly explicit, but I did say that babies are formed when an egg in the mother and a sperm from the father get together. When she asked how the sperm got into the egg, I explained it, using scientific terms. Basically, I tried to keep it generic and medically correct. I never used silly terms for private parts either.

The trick is to let the child lead the conversation. Answer questions, but don't add too much information that would bring more detailed questions. When they want to know more, they will ask. And sometimes, you can bet the kid will ask a question that is really personal, and at that point you need to decide whether or not they need to know. Questions such as "does sex hurt?" deserve an answer. Questions such as "how much sex do you and daddy have?" is a bit trickier. And yes, they DO ask stuff like that if you have an open, communicative relationship with your little one.

In my personal opinion, that last question is probably more than they need to know and I would answer it with a "well, that's something that's different for everyone, and some day, when you're married, you will know your answer, but what happens between me and daddy right now is our business and not to be shared."

Hope this helps. You're in a really great and exciting phase of her life right now. The more inquisitive she is, the better. Trust your (very good mommy) instincts and let her guide the "need to know" basis. Good luck!

Answer 3

Answer only the questions she asks.. she will ask what she wants to know. No matter of her age always answer her questions as honest as possible. My daughter is now 18 but when she was as young as 4 she was asking questions about where babys come from.. i was vague but answered the questions she asked. You have to use your best judgement on how much info she can handle. My daughter was content at a young age when she asked where babies come from, when i answered her this way... Babies come from mommys and daddies that are in love. But then at 8 when she asked the same question, she wasnt content with that answer, so i had to show her the anatomy of a woman and photos of a baby in the womb.. My daughter never had sex till she was 17.. and she knew about venerial diseases and pregnancy and most everything by the time she was 14. My best answer is that you know your daughter better than anyone.. keep this line of communication open with her, that way when she asks you more complicated questions later on, you will be able to sit and talk with her... Do Not Ignore ANY of her questions. Answer them... even if you have to be vague.. give her something to think about.

Answer 4

She is ready to hear the facts if she is asking questions....My daughter started about the age of ten and as she got older the questions got more complex ...But I answered her with details....We even talked about orgasms and birth control... Please I beg you not to allow her to get her information from other kids some of the crap they tell each other can lead to problems...And don't put your head in the sand about birth control or you will end up being a young grandmother.... When my daughter became active she came to me before she did anything and we took the proper precautions...I asked her if I told her no what would she do and she told me that she would have had sex any way...Then she gave me a hug and said she was glad we are able to talk so open about things....My daughter has a friend.And the girls mother told her daughter that if she (the mother ) gave her daughter birth control . It would be like telling the daughter its OK to have sex... Well needless to say,.... She (the mother) is now a grand mother... And her daughter had to quit school.... They will have sex weather you approve or not....I know your girl is young yet but I thought I would give you a look ahead...Good luck

Answer 5

One of my daughters started her periods at the age of 9, so my advice is to answer her questions honestly as she asks them. If she is older than 10, you had best be specific and start talking about reproductive responsibility. Otherwise you might wind up with a child with life threatening STD's, HIV, or HEP C. Or you could become a grandmother before you are ready.

Your daughter can get any information about anything at school, from her friends or off the internet. Wouldn't you prefer it was you so that you can impart your standards and morals? Its a whole different world out there, and you had better be prepared.

Answer 6

well, depending on her age, just be straight forward about it. My 6 yr old asked what sex was, and i simply told her it is a special way for a husband and wife to share their love, and that she was too young for details. I know that me and my friends knew details and everything by the time we were like 10 or 12. and it wasn't from our parents, who hadn't felt we were old enough yet, it was from us talking and from our EXPERIENCES. I think its better to just answer her questions honestly, so that she's not out doing things to learn about them instead of talking to you about them. I had a few friends who lost their virginity at 12, and by 14-16, all of them were pregnant. I have an open door with my daughter. she can ask anything and get the appropriate answer from me. Maybe you should ask her to tell you everything she knows already, and then you can help her fill in the blurry spots.

Answer 7

You should teach her the true facts of life. I'm going to teach my daughter when she is old enough!!!

1. There is no Santa
2. There might be a Bigfoot
3. All men cheat, almost all women cheat
4. Marriage ruins all relationships (moving in is the same)
5. Everyone lies (you even lie to yourself)
6. Life is not fair

Good luck and Happy Holidays. Email me
if you want to hear the truth. I don't lie.

Answer 8

You answer her until she is satisfied. It's hard to answer you without knowing which details she wants. My daughter is 8. She knows you need a mom and a dad to have a baby. She knows the baby come out of the vagina. (She knows the proper anatomical names too.) She just hasn't asked me how it gets there yet.
When she does and I know it is coming, thanks to Jamie Lynn Spears, I will tell her that when a man and woman love each other, they get as close as two people possibly can. They do that by the man putting his penis into the woman's vagina. That is called making love, or sex. The mans body produces sperm, so when he puts his penis inside the vagina the sperm come out and find the egg and make a baby.

Answer 9

When she asks a question, give her just enough information to satisfy her, no more. Our children tend to mature quicker these days..It is best to try and educate her yourself and not let her learn the important things outside the home. I raised 2 sons and when they asked anything, I told them, I didn't beat around the bush. Its best they know. . .By the time my sons were in their early teens, they knew all about periods and pregnancy and anything else they wanted to know. I didn't mind talking about it. I hope being open minded with them will help them when they are talking to their own children. . The best place to learn anything....is at home!

Answer 10

My son is 15, I did like you at first, kinda give him little hints to pacify his questions. then he came home from school talking about what he had herd at school, strap ons orgasm's etc etc.. right then I knew that if the child is being specific, he want's a specific answer, and if you beat around the bush about it, the child will quit coming to you and talking to you about it, to build your childs confidence in you and letting them see that you care enuff to answer the hard questions goes along way, my son now tells me things that I wouldnt have dared to tell my father, but my father and I never had that level of trust between us either.

Answer 11

Oh please, just send her to a website such as teen wire and let her read up on these things. She deserves to know everything and if you don't tell her, if she's even a little intelligent, she'll either go online or to a library and find out on her own. It's not like sheltering her is going to stop her from wanting sex. All teenagers want sex. It's a biological fact of life.

Oh and next time ask in the appropriate section. This is marriage and divorce not parenting.