I have been having these ongoing internal issues with the fact that my bf chooses 2go out every week with mates & get drunk...stayin out till 4am. I talked 2him about it and said that the fact he feels the need to do it every week makes me feel uncomfortable and I don’t understand why.
His argument is that we spend a lot of time together and when the lads are in town he gets to see a lot of them all in one go etc. He said he feels that hes just trying 2ave best of both worlds as he doesn’t want 2lose his mates/ neglect them…says he needs his friends &that they mean alot to him.
Part of me knows hes right,cause even when he is out on a Sat night he’ll more times than not spend alot of the day with me &then we’ll likely have dinner 2gether as well before he heads out so I really don’t know what is wrong with me.
But in my mind when I know hes choosing to go out on a sat and get hammered I get all emotional and I don’t like it….dont know how to move past this…any advice?
2007-12-18 20:58:15 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
here in the UK bars and clubs are now open till 4am x
2007-12-18 21:09:13 · update #1
Firstly, well done for acknowledging you have a problem of sort. You acknowledge that you have some insecurities is this because of a past experience with someone else. He is being honest where he is and who he is with, is there an option of you joining in every know and then, perhaps not every time but once a month. Better still on the nights he goes out you go do your own thing, sounds as tho you are young enough with no responsibilities like children to go out where and who with of your choice. Once a week may seem a bit much but that an individual thing if everything else in the relationship is OK then I say back off and appreciate what you have. For your anxiety get some help or you going to drive him away
2007-12-18 22:02:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are uncomfortable with this and he seems to ignore it ,then I would say it is time to rock his world and move out cause you two are not married . You said it yourself he chooses to go do this . Chooses being the key word . If you were important to him he would not do this . So I would say it is time to move on and find someone who really cares .Good luck dear .
2007-12-19 06:25:53 · answer #2 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well, if it upsets you he should respect your feelings, it is normal the way you feel. i feel like that too sometimes. he has a good point that you cant neglect friends, BUT he cant neglect you either.
try going out until 5 in the morning on Saturday night or Friday night and see how HE feels. :))
2007-12-19 05:21:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not married - dump him...
stays out til 4 am, but the bars close at 2, right? red flag
so where is he for 2 more hours? red flag
gets drunk - red flag
Don't you want to marry someone nice?
Move on...
Joy to you!
2007-12-19 05:07:02 · answer #4 · answered by frillyfroofroo 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋