do u think is normal for me to have a curfew? i am 20 years old and am a full time student, am not working at the moment because the companies i worked for separated, i am not allowed to do the things other 20 year olds get to do, as in stay out late, just because i dont have a job, i think is not fair, because i still do things around the house since am not working, it fair? what should i do? oh and i am looking for a job recently since semester is over. any suggestions?
2007-12-18 18:22:59 · 19 answers · asked by :^) 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
seeing as you are a legal adult, no I don't think it's fair. You can vote, buy alcohol and get into bars and nightclubs... your parents may just be worried about you but sooner or later they're going to have to realise they can't always protect you. You need to make mistakes to learn from them.
2007-12-18 18:27:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
You live in your parents' house, so you need to abide by and respect their rules and wishes, but at your age, their expectation that you will keep a curfew is extreme. You are an ADULT, NOT a child, and your parents need to be made to realize this. I would sit down with them and have a long discussion about expectations and rules, and see if you can find a way to compromise on this issue. You can point out that you are job hunting, and talk about some of the ways you contribute to the household by doing chores. You can also offer to start paying your parents some rent each month- that will help them to see you as an adult, not a little kid. If you are paying your own bills and being responsible in other ways( such as calling home if you know you are going be really late for something) then they should be willing to ease off on the curfew restrictions.
As for whether or not a curfew at your age is normal, the answer is NO. Most people your age live in the dorms or their own apartments while attending college- I am surprised you elected to live at home. Perhaps you should check into getting a Pell grant or a federal student loan to help pay for your college expenses so that you can live in either the dorm or residence hall, or an apartment of your own on or near campus. Are you an only child? If this is the case, that may be why your parents are reluctant to let you live on campus- it's often hard for some parents to sever the apron strings and recognize that their child is grown up. You are in a time of transition in your relationship to them anyway, as you move from adolescence to full adulthood. You need to be independent and you need your privacy and personal space. That's why I suggest looking into financial aid from either the government or the school you attend, so that you can afford to get your own place.
Going to live on your own may be a bit scary at first, but once you adjust to the idea, you will be much happier and better off, and so will your parents. Leaving the nest is always hard on everyone, but it's necessary. You are already old enough to vote, sign contracts, get credit, buy a car, buy a house, hold public office, and serve in the military. Next year, you will be old enough to drink and purchase alcohol- and in some states, this may already be true right now. Your parents will eventually realize that they can't keep you a baby forever. But until they do, you are going to have to live with a few things you may not like very much. Think about my suggestion, and I hope it works out for you. Good luck.
2007-12-19 02:34:31 · answer #2 · answered by Starlight 1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont know what to say maybe you should rent a room out with a buddy and split the cost.. ill be 20 in 2 months and i havent had a curfew since i was 14.. so i never really had a problem like that... i used to sneak out of my house when my parents told me no and eventually they realized they rather know where im am or where im going than to have to wonder where i snuck off to.. soo i think the best thing to do would to have several friends sign a lease (people you can REALLY trust) and you all split the cost so that way it is easier since you are a full time student and cant work many hours.. good luck
2007-12-18 18:30:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
my first reaction was wow thats crazy cuz im 20 and could not imagine having a curfew. but then i read you dont even have a job so obviously live with your parents and they pay for your stuff so i say there roof there rules. i would probably think differently if i lived with my parents though im sure haha but i dont lol. anyways i moved out when i started college im a full time student plus have a 40 hr a week job and things are good for me so i suggest that if you dont wanna curfew then you getta job and move out other then that just be happy you get free food and a free place to live lol
2007-12-18 18:54:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you may be an adult but you are living under their roof so i say their rules go. 1am really isnt an unfair time and what is there to do in the middle of the night anyways? i used to rebel against my parents rules when i was younger but being a parent now has really opened my eyes and i realize parents were right when they said the things they did. if you are responsible im sure your parents wouldnt mind extending or eliminating your curfew after you sit down and have a mature conversation with them.
2016-05-25 00:15:21 · answer #5 · answered by cornelia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow i was like that when i was 18 paying for everything and going to school but you do live under their roof for free so i wouldn't complain to much cuz they are gonna tell ya to hit the road...my parents did and i couldn't be happier now they regreat telling me to move out
now a 20 year old that does what they want!
i would go to some where that is looking for hoilday help its getting kind late now but maybe try that...even if its only 2 days a week its something good luck
2007-12-18 22:52:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's kind of ridiculous... but the other posters are right. Their house, their rules.
My husband and I had to live with my grandma for a couple of months while our house was being fixed up... and man, it was awful! She didn't want more than so many loads of laundry washed a week, she didn't want us coming or going after 11 pm because we "woke her up"... she knocked on our door every morning telling us she was leaving and telling us what chores she wanted done before she got home... she even told me how to discipline and how not to discipline my son! And when I told her basically that she can't tell me how to talk to him she said "as long as you're living in my house I can tell you whatever I want!"
And yes, as annoying and flat out ridiculous as it is sometimes, it's true. As long as you're living there you have to repsect their house.. and their stupid rules.
Move out ASAP. Get a roommate or something. You're 20 - don't torture yourself like this. As soon as we moved into our house LIFE WAS GOOD!
2007-12-18 18:31:26 · answer #7 · answered by shellj_foxy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dude you are 20...get a job and a place and go live by your own rules....either that or stay where you are and live by your parents rules because it is their house. I lived by my parents rules when I lived with or stayed with them. Even when I was 25 and married we lived with my parents between homes I respected their rules because they were kind enough to let us stay there. I was married and only allowed out until 12 midnight or else she worried and got upset. Good luck!
2007-12-18 19:00:14 · answer #8 · answered by })i({ J and D's Momma })i({ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you live at home, you have to follow the home rules. Sounds like you've got good, caring parents. Almost everyone who ever lived at home had to go through the same thing. Suck it up, finish school. Then, get a job and a place of your own.
2007-12-18 18:28:41 · answer #9 · answered by scruffycat 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but if you live with your parents, you'll have to go by their rules. My husband and I are both 22, we go to college 2hrs away from my in-law's house. But when we go back for breaks and stuff, my FIL gives us curfews, tells us whether or not we can go out to watch movies or hang out with other people. Of course, there have been times when we "disobey" my FIL and go any ways, but then we stand a chance of getting locked out.
2007-12-18 18:28:31 · answer #10 · answered by TaDaa! 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's fair. You live in your parents house. You should live out side of campus. Move out
2007-12-19 00:20:12 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋