We married one year ago. i don't love my wife much. married life is ok. I am falling in love with my ex-girlfriend. now i want to divorce without hurting her much. how can i do it?
2007-12-18 17:52:51 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You can't. You have only been married one year and now you are falling in love again with your ex. It sounds to me as if you are a pheromone junkie. Once the excitement wears off you go to the next woman. Then when it wears off you go to another or back to the other. I suggest you stay single if you even care for these women. Why did you get married? Did you know that after a while those exciting "in love" feelings go away and are replaced by a deeper bond of love. It is a natural process but a person who is married needs to overcome the dissappointment of the exciting in love feelings going away. That helps to build a marriage not destroy it.
I suggest you work on yourself and not your private parts.
2007-12-18 18:29:15 · answer #1 · answered by bssd12000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a very foolish man. You have a wife. You say it's OK, so then you go back with your ex? She is an ex for a reason. If it didn't work the first time, what makes you think it will work now?There is no way to tell your wife you want a divorce, without hurting her. The fact that you don't want to hurt her tells me you still love her. What exactly are you trying to do. Stop this foolishness immediately, and stay at home. You are just afraid of the marriage responsibilities, and pressures. Instead, be grateful that you have a good wife. If you don't want her, there will be many others who would. Think about that.
2007-12-18 18:10:08 · answer #2 · answered by cee jay 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
A divorce will always hurt regardless of the way that you put it. If you weren't in love with your wife you shouldn't have married her. Are you sure you're making the right decision running back to an old flame?
Rather then running from your marriage, why don't you try to work it out and find out why the spark is missing. Get some marriage counseling. If that doesn't work then I guess you will have to leave your wife but there will be no "gentle" way to put getting a divorce.
It will be very painful for her and dramatic for the both of you with all the legal actions and such..
2007-12-18 18:11:00 · answer #3 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I must ask: Did you ever love your wife? Were you in love when you married? How long did you know her before you tied the knot?
You say that your marriage is okay BUT you are falling in love with your ex. Why is she still apart of your life? Did you turn to her because being married is not all you thought it would be?
Be careful because perhaps, you are just looking for a "thrill". If you are with someone long enough the thrill will die down no matter what. . .because the business of life takes over & there is very little mystery about them when you live with them day to day.
No matter what you do or say, your wife will be devestated & terribly hurt.
My $0.02 you should never leave the one you are with to be with someone else. She is an ex girlfriend for a reason. Perhaps you just are not ready to settle down.
2007-12-18 18:16:34 · answer #4 · answered by Mackenzie Walsh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so sorry to hear that your wife is sick. You don't know she won't beat cancer? I know of 2 ladies who have died recently of cancer. My first friend her A hole of a husband did leave her at her worse and yes she did die. If her husband had only stuck it out for another year he would have out of the marriage as a good guy and right with God on the whole til death do you part. My next lady I knew she died at 30 from brain cancer she left behind her husband and 18 month old daughter. Her husband did stick with her til her death and of course remains very close with the in-laws. Personally I have been there where you are and my husband only had days then months to live. When he seemed to be better Docs told us 4 years max. Now it's been 8 years and he is healthy and we are going strong. Her health unfortunately shouldn't have anything to do with wanting a divorce so don't think of it that way. If you love her you wouldn't want to leave. Say to the family why you don't love her anymore. Which shouldn't include me me me. It should be how you feel about her. How bad she treats you.Also you can always adopt so children isn't even a reason. Life isn't always fun.I'm sure your already not treating her well because you don't love her anymore. I'm sure she already knows you mentally gone from her. I wouldn't get married again because marriage isn't until you feel like life is tuff. You might one day want someone there for you in your sickness, because everyone gets sick and dies. Just explain how much you don't love her and not her illness.
2016-04-10 07:18:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a hurtful thing to divorce someone. You find yourself falling in love with your ex-girlfriend and you are married? Marriage is a commitment. You close off all possibilities of giving in to temptation by rejecting all the opportunities and concentrating your feelings on your spouse. You do this consciously - you don't assume that the feeling of commitment has to be there all by itself. See a therapist with your wife, discuss your feelings and your plans. See a good attorney and get out of her life if you can't control yourself.
2007-12-18 18:09:47 · answer #6 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have already hurt her by not being honest. The worse thing you can do is say your leaving her for someone else. You need to distance yourself a little from the ex, then speak to your wife and tell her that you're not happy. This will hurt her more if she hasn't seen any signs that your not happy. Tell her now and the rest will follow.
2007-12-19 04:12:53 · answer #7 · answered by celfone71 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should ask yourself why did you even get married in the first place?? Did you even feel anything for your wife then??? Two people need to work on a marriage to make it work, one person can't all by themselves. What has she been doing while you have been seeing this ex?? Has she been home waiting for you?? Why don't you try some counselling??
2007-12-18 18:01:33 · answer #8 · answered by winona e 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously your wife is much better off without you. Love is a gift. When you no longer feel it, you no longer have it to give. Therefore, cutting your wife free will enable her to find someone genuine to share the gift of love with.
Just be honest. Tell her you have fallen out of love with her, you are falling in love with your ex, and under the circumstances you want to separate with a view to divorce.
2007-12-18 17:59:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow! You want to get divorced with your wife and you say how can you say it an appropriate way so that it would hurt her. Hello! turn the table around and see imagine yourself into her situation and if she would ask or do the same thing.
2007-12-18 18:46:03 · answer #10 · answered by JB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋