Best time to ask for divorce?

Question

I had told my wife I wanted a divorce a few weeks back, but when I told her she acted crazy and broke a cup and scratched her wrist with it screaming at me she had to let out the pain so I am not happy,very depressed, cant stand having her as a parisite anymore, but I have three children and do not know how she will react, I have been trying to do whats best for them but I dont feel like it is best for them or me anymore, and I am afraid she will do something again I know I dont want the kids home when I tell her, but now I am afraid of how she will be, should I plan a time and tell her in person with the kids gone at a relatives place, or have someone with me when I tell her from my family or just let the police serve the divorce papers and make sure when they do the kids are not home?

Answer 1

I waited until my wife called me from her boyfriends house and said Im not sure if I love you any more?

Answer 2

What brought it on in the first place? Are things not sizzling in the bedroom anymore? Is it money problems? Another woman? I think that after being with someone for so long and going through such great things, like bringing three great children into the world that love would have no boundaries. Have you tried going to marriage classes? I think that there are ways that you can work out your problems without it ending in divorce. Think hard about what you have been through. The good and the bad, if you two have been through harder times you can make it through anything. Of course your wife would reacted badly. Have you ever thought that she is hurting in some way also and you aren't the only one? Honestly nothing will get done if you two don't talk to eachother about things and work through them. To save your family from being broken apart, do everything you can to make it work, and if a therapist, anti-depressants, making time for sex, or just talking doesn't work to make the changes needed, then get a dirvorce, but you both should be able to look back and say that you did all that you could to make it in the end. Good luck.

Answer 3

being that she acted crazy when it was the two of you, you should tell her outside of the home in public. She's less likely to make a scene in public and if she does you will have people around that can intervene if it turns into a scene without it being a domestic dispute if it were just the two of you (her word against yours). It sounds like you want to be peaceful about this and that you care about her but at the same time, you have to protect yourself in case things come up in divorce court (hopefully they won't). Make sure that they kids aren't around when you go to tell her because you two need time by yourselves to discuss this. It's better that she can hear it from you versus hearing it from someone else. You made the attempt before but she probably wasn't able to rationalize this properly so give her one more chance to hear you out and it may go better since by now I'm sure she's she's had a chance to process things. Talking with her about it will both help you come to terms with divorce (who gets what, who gets custody,, etc..) so that the process can be smooth .
Best of luck to you and I'm so sorry that you are going thru this.

P.S do it quickly so it doesn't drag on making it more painful for you, her, kids.

Answer 4

Move out, the kids are going to find out anyway, she's going to call them if the kids aren't there if the police hand her the papers. If you're waiting for her to leave because you want the house you'll get 1/2 of that in the divorce. so just leave

find an apartment get a phone maybe a cell phone and don't worry about anything. That's if you really want a divorce.
If you do don't make excuses also you don't have to explain your reasons to anyone Just leave Have a good one

Answer 5

Why are you getting divorced? What caused your situation to change from the way you felt about her when you were married? Wedding vows are for better or worse....Not every year is for the better. Why not surprise her and let her know that no matter what,... you are there and you know that you both can survive it because you have made it this far?!!! We are all broken people and we bring our broken problems that stem from childhood into our marriage. Sometimes these issues do not surface until years into our marriage...(thus, the worse part of better or for worse)...if you leave, you will only settle down with another broken person, but a different broken problem....You have 3 beautiful children that your love created....They need to see you set the example for them...show them that no matter how rough things can be, that part of being a family is surviving those rough moments together. Does she have other problems outside of you wanting out of the marriage?...there are counselors out there that can provide support and help for your wife and family. Any good bible based church could serve as a starting point for getting your family the support they need right now....You need the support too...as the leader of your home. I will keep your family in my prayers...

Answer 6

You have three kids and you want a divorce? Is the grass greener on the other side? Don't you believe it. You call the wife a parasite? Have you tried to keep this marriage together or are you selfish . Well, friend it sounds as though you are real guilty about this whole situation.If you cannot face your kids better think twice.There will come a day whenyou will need support and there will be no one who really cares.

Answer 7

Well you have a major problem because you do need to think of what will happen next...especially to the children....is she a stable person...can she care for the children? Because if not, you need to know what will happen before you move out or whatever. And a rational discussion is necessary, and maybe she can't be rational....if that is the case, I would say that yes, you need a witness in every discussion. Police don't serve divorce papers....and because things need to be decided...you need to also say if you are applying for custody of your children....and because this isn't given to men easily, you need to know if she would agree to that. Their care come first.....and yes, I would keep the kids out of it as much as is possible. And get her agreement if you can.

And be careful....bank accounts are often in two names, credit cards, etc. If you don't want to be owing a lot of money...you need to protect the ones your name is on.

Answer 8

Sounds like you should have her committed for 72 hours. Just before they come out to get her. boom you tell her. This way when the cops and parametics get there, they witness her strange behavior. This way you also have a case in court to make sure the kids arent in danger under her care. Suicidel is an illness. She needs help. Good luck to you. Dont wait too long, she just may attack you when you arent expecting it. You may be in danger and dont know it. Sorry, but keep your eyes open.

Answer 9

Her doing crazy things like that and you second guessing yourself and postponing the divorce is exactly what she wants you to do. If he she is crazy and will hurt herself, she's going to do it for attention and to make you feel bad. You can't let her have that control over you. Make sure the kids aren't around when you tell her and make sure you get custody/placement of the kids because she needs help.

Answer 10

My ex wife was out there like that the so-called "suicide attempts". people that do that to loved ones, a real attempt or not, do not deserve sympathy. Tell her to do it. She won't. It's a ploy for sympathy. She doesnt sound reasonable, so just do the divorce anyway you can that is fast and as little pain as it can be for all of you.

Answer 11

Yikes, when she's not home, take your stuff out of the house, take the kids with you and leave her a nice long note, stating how you've been feeling and how you just want to get a divorce.Then get a good lawyer to get 50/50 of the kids.