Best time to ask for divorce?

Question

I had told my wife I wanted a divorce a few weeks back, but when I told her she acted crazy and boke a cup and scratched her wrist with it screaming at me she had to let out the pain so I am not happy,very depressed, cant stand having her as a parisite anymore, but I have three children and do not know how she will react, I have been trying to do whats best for them but I dont feel like it is best for them or me anymore, and I am afraid she will do something again I know I dont want the kids home when I tell her, but now I am afraid of how she will be, should I plan a time and tell her in person with the kids gone at a relatives place, or have someone with me when I tell her from my family or just let the police serve the divorce papers and make sure when they do the kids are not home?

Answer 1

I'm glad to hear that you are concerned about what is best for your children. Having two emotionally sound, stable parents who can provide a loving, thriving home environment is what is best. It sounds like your wife definitely has some inner issues that she needs to deal with..such anger, and self-hatred (with the cutting and throwing stuff). Definitely not healthy for the kids, for you, or for her. If must be very serious to come to divorce. I am sorry for your situation.
Why don't you and the kids go somewhere fun, and have your local law enforcement agency serve the papers to her during that time....the children don't need to witness that.
I would go to the police/sheriff's office, and explain her past attempts at hurting herself, giving explicit detailed recollections of prior events, and express your fears of her doing it again when the papers are served, and they should take care of the situation. Once you have told any law enforcement officer of your concerns that someone is a danger to themselves or someone else, with good reason, they are obligated to address it.
She won't like it, but it might be a good wake up call for her to see what she has been doing, and get her in the right direction for some real help with her anger issues, and whatever else is going on. You shouldn't feel guilty, because you will actually be helping her in the long run. She can one day be a good, strong, healthy role model and mother for her children, instead of a danger to them.
Wishing you all the best..

Answer 2

I don't know if there will ever be a right time to tell her. Divorce is always going to be hard, and harder when children are involved. I think you should tell her but have family there. Like her mother,sister, or brother. Maybe she needs some counseling too, to help her get through this bad time for the kids too. You, only know why your divorcing her, make sure it's for the right reason. Ask yourself if it's worth saving, You loved her at one time or you wouldn't have married her to begin with. What caused the separation or lack of interest. All marriages have troubles & problems to work out. Are you sure that it can't be fixed or healed in time. Does she know the reason for the divorce, and hopefully it's not for someone else. Keep in mind your children, and how important they are not to drag them into your problems. They are growing up to be what they see and hear. {Parents} They are OUR future too.

Answer 3

I think getting the fam involved will explain your side before she slanders it. Plus it will prove how you are thinking of the kids if you ask for assistance in that area. Have someone serve her with the papers: it shouldn't be you. She'll probably call you non-stop anyways. Just think what it would be like in person. Have the kids be somewhere else and have them stay there overnight so they don't see your wife at her worst. I'd explain why you're leaving her though so that she doesn't wonder and assume. She'll probably say that she can change, but that isn't what (I'm sure) you want from her. I'm sure you want to go back to being yourself and for her to find herself again. Keep the kids in mind and get them some counseling even if they aren't old enough to understand what's happening. It'll be tough for everyone involved. All of my best...

Answer 4

Do not be a coward...tell her yourself, but definitely make sure the kids are not around! They are going to be devestated enough by the divorce and their mother's reaction---they don't need to be there for the initial blow, and you had better have a sit down with them soon after you tell your wife and before they return home to her. Do not leave your children in the dark or let them find out only their mother's side of things. This woman does not sound stable at all, so you may want to consider temporary custody of the children and have it all set up before hand so they don't have to witness her pulling a nutty. PS: Wait till after the holidays, and good luck to you!

If she begins threatening suicide or harms herself, you dial 911 and let the professionals have at it. Do not be threatened or manipulated into dragging this thing out longer than you should because it is only going to make things much worse when you do pull the trigger.

Answer 5

Get the kids outta there, and have the police serve her, you don't want her to hurt you, or the children, and you definately don't want her coming up with a story about you abusing her. Just tip the police off that she may become violent and hurt herself, maybe they'll keep an eye on her for a little while.

Answer 6

You have had three children with this woman and it sounds like you are trying to discard her like yesterdays garbage. You owe her at least a shot at marriage counseling even if you don't think it would possibly help. This will allow her a bit of time to discuss and process what has gone wrong and hopefully give her the tools to be able to move on without you. You owe her that much respect.

Answer 7

sit down nicely with your wife and tell her you want to do that. and do it sesitivly. and tell her why. and make sure the kids aren't there THEN. but tell them soon after. don't keep it a secret... belive me. they'll hate you if you keep it a secret. and still always be there for your kids.
and also... maybe try to work things out before you get a divorce.

Answer 8

I Cor 7:10 - ...."and a husband is not to divorce his wife."

Please go to counseling, you have three children!!!

joy to you.....

Answer 9

Lawyers.Half of your patrimony.Lawyers.Your kids staying with one of you.
Just the usual

Answer 10

have them served when the kids are with you... there is really never a 'best' time.