My husband is bored?

Question

My husband says he is bored with the marriage and our sex life after only a year. He says the spark has gone. He still fancies me and he loves me but he said that our sex life feels like a chore. I don't know what to do. Can anyone help me?

I dress up for him, we've used toys the only room in the house we haven't done it in is the spare room, i've asked in the morning, through the day and at night. I've waited in the bedroom 4 him when he got in from work. I can't do anything at the minute because he's away in iraq.

thank you

thank you

Answer 1

Think outside the bedroom. Next time you take a shower, wear just the towel around the house for a while. My wife wears just a Tshirt that comes to mid butt. (drives me crazy) cook breakfast in just panties on a day that he goes to work. He will think about that all day. On a day when he is home, do the same, then sit on his lap and feed him his breakfast. Snuggle up on the couch when he is watching something, then start unbuttoning something on you or on him. Have a naked video night where you both sit naked on the couch, popcorn and drinks, and watch something you like (doesn't have to be porn). Both of you clean the house naked on Saturday mornings (can't touch each other till the place is clean). Don't forget car sex. Scout out a place when you are alone, then one night when you are coming home from somewhere, say, "Turn here." and guide him to the spot.. Pull out some battery powered candles for the dashboard. We had a book called "101 sexual positions" and a jar with pieces of paper numbered 1 to 101. We would pick a number and try that position. Have sex in every room, on, under, or beside every piece of furniture. Try sex on the stairs. But most of all HAVE FUN!!!!

Answer 2

Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you're the only one trying https://tr.im/Hh72O

Answer 3

I have some suggestions that may help bring the "spark" back into your marriage, however I am reluctant to share all here on Answers, as I don't think content would be appropriate for this site. Please feel free to IM or email me and I will share.

I have included a useful website address that may shed some light on the different stages of marriage.

Many couples do not know what to expect in marriage because they have no idea what is coming next. They feel a sense of panic, or even doom, when the relationship shifts or changes. By understanding the stages of marriage, and setting their goal on the final stage, couples can work through the difficult stages and find fulfillment and joy in each other.

The stages of marriage:

* Romantic Love Stage. This stage is highly emotional and full of positive projections. You want to see your partner all the time, and see him/her as the answer to all your problems. Your "chosen one" can do no wrong. This stage is delusional.

* Power Struggle Stage. When the interaction becomes more routine, partners see that true love has a negative side. You feel that your mate is intentionally not meeting your needs and arguments arise over toothpaste, budgets, and how many times you made love in the last month. Your reactivity is high during this period and a lot of hurtful things are said that do little to build up the relationship. Every issue becomes a power struggle. Too many couples stay in this stage for years.

* Awakening Stage. This is when spouses come to know each other for who they really are. Instead of placing blame, you see the part you play in the marital problems. You honestly evaluate yourself and your behaviors. This can be a scary stage for couples. It seems like it gets worse before it gets better. Honestly evaluating yourself, and your mate, can cause discomfort, anxiety, and even fear.

* Transformation Stage. This is the stage when souls begin to shift. Couples choose to use certain skills and tools to aid them in better marital interaction. New ideas are formed about your spouse that are realistic and benevolent. You stop pursuing other distractions to your marriage, and want the best for your spouse and the marriage.

* Reality Love Stage. This is the stage that makes all the struggles worthwhile. Couples have knowledge, acceptance, appreciation, and gratitude for each other. You create a safe environment for mutual sharing as you give your spouse unconditional love.

I hope these sites give you some insight. Please feel free to IM or email anytime.

Have a safe and happy Christmas.

Sharon

Answer 4

Well if he's bored with sex, just with you? or with sex in general? You shoudl try role playing and try dressing up where all you ahve to do is come into the rommand he will be all over you. But seems like he doesn't seemed bored if you ahve done it all over the house. Maybe he is thinking about adding someone to join you'll? Well just have a nice long chat with him and tell him what else you can do to make him feel the spark again. Seems like if it's a chore to do it why do it then?

Answer 5

Do you enjoy the sex? That can severally help if you don't. Could you like it a little more than you do? Think about pleasing your self and you will please him by seeing that you actually enjoy it.

Now if this is not the case. Please find the cause of this so called boredom. You guys don't need "spark". You just need to be having fun, sex doesn't always have to be serious. Don't blame it on something you can't fix like a spark. Find out what you two are doing wrong.

Get some books, get some toys or whatever you have to do.

Answer 6

I've never heard of a man calling sex a chore, they usually feel that it's great fun. You have to mix things up and get creative. Give him a sensual body massage with scented body oil. Choose a nice scent, something he'll like, do this while wearing nice lingerie. Role play with him you can be the naughty nurse and he the dirty doctor. Ask him what he likes and wants to try, maybe your not doing something he wants you to do. It's ok for married people to test their sexual limits you guys should still be having lots of fun, it's too soon for a breakdown. Desiginate a place to meet each other and act as strangers who just met-have drinks & flirt with each other-take this as far as the bedroom or even beyond, that's up to you. Keep an open mind and keep searching for creative ways to keep him interested.

Answer 7

Tell him if he is in love and committed, that you can work together to bring back the spark in bed. Ask him what sort of things he likes, and share the same with him. Then start experimenting, whether it's with new positions, role-playing, food (whipped cream!), an occasional stop at a fancy hotel, or any number of other things. Best of luck, and have fun. :)

Answer 8

Spicen up the sex.
There are a lot of things you can do to make sex more fun and interesting. You can buy tons of toys from sites or even go to a store that sells sexual stuff. I would suggest involving whips, chains, handcuffs, fruits, chocolates & sweets, role playing (with dressing up & all), and lots of foreplay. If you want to be exciting in the bedroom you have to use your imagination!

Answer 9

An unsatisfactory sex life is usually a symptom of another underlying problem. Spend more time talking, try and get to the real problem, sex is usually the first thing to go and the last thing to come back in a relationship with problems.

Answer 10

love is the soul of the relationship and sex is the engine of it i had the same problem with my EX she impressed me by havin sex with me whenever i wanted it for the 1st few months of our relationship cos she loved me and she didn t want 2 lose me by disapointin me then she started doing it her way after she knew that i fell in love with her so i spoke 2 her about it and i realy loved her so i told her that we have 2 sort it out if we realy love each other and make it fair cos if i dont get it from her where else am i gonna get it from ! so she said to me (im me and thats the person i m so if you love me love me 4 who i m ) i know she is right 100% right but once you taste the honey you always want 2 taste it again and again and you ll be upset if 1 day the honey is next 2 you but you cant taste it!!! >>>>>>any way only cos i loved her i ended up doing it her way for a while then i broke up not cos i wasn t havin it but only cos the sex issu started makin some problems and my love 4 her started goin down day after day until i ve had enough cos if i love some1 100% i deserve to be loved at least 80% cos the love level for two lovers can never be the same . so if you realy love him and dont wanna lose him play fair cos as i said sex is the engine...>>>good luck hope the best 4 youse 2. /////leo.