Do you know any funny little Southern expressions? (or from anywhere as long as it's in English)?

Question

Like if someone were to ask you, "How are you today?" and they say "oh, finer than frog hair".....

Please tell me as many as you can think of... I will give a best answer as I always do...

Answer 1

That's as slippery as an eel in a bucket of snot.
That's funnier than a fart at a funeral.
That fits like a duck's foot in a bucket of sh*t.

Answer 2

Funny Southern Expressions

Answer 3

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Answer 4

1. Crazy as a sh!t-house rat.
2. Three sheets to the wind. (drunk)
3. As happy as a dead pig in the sunshine.
4. As happy as a pig in sh!t.
5. As busy as a one-legged man in an @$$ kicking contest.
6. As popular as a skunk at a garden party.
7. About as funny as a hole in the rubber.
8. Went over like a turd in a punchbowl.
9. So cheap he could pinch a penny 'till it hollered.
10. Colder than a witches teat in a brass bra in the middle of January.

That's all I could come up with off the top of my head. If I think of more, I'll add them later.

Answer 5

As nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs
Handy as a flashlight with no batteries
As flat as a pancake
As long as a country mile
As weak as a kitten
jumpier than a cat on a hot tin roof

Answer 6

I've been lookin' all over hell and half of Georgia.
You couldn't hit the broad side of a barn.
I ain't seen you in a coon's age.
Way out in the boonies.
Sit a spell.
She ran outta here like a scalded haint.
Longer than a country mile.

These are all the one's I've heard myself. Most of mine were found on the link below.

I forgot "What can I do you for?" meaning "What can I do for you?"

Answer 7

I've heard a few of the ones already reported, & some appeared to be made-up. [My mom was from the deep south (S.E. GA), & I grew up visiting there every summer.] Only three more can I think to add: 1) When my (ex) father-in-law thought I was making a job harder than it should've been, he said, "You look like a monkey tryin' to frig a football!" 2) Whenever someone was done visiting (& getting ready to leave), they would say, "Y'all come go with us." -- (like it was our turn to go visit them.) 3) My mom told me that whenever her brothers would get her dad pissed off by trying to give him advice after-the-fact (If you'da done this, or if you'da done that), he would tell them, "If Hell -- if the dog hadn'ta stopped to s**t , he'da caught the rabbit!"

Answer 8

I'm from the south so I know a few..."Am I making myself clear?" "Yep, clear as mud" or "scared as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs" "I'm going to the store dreckly" ( which means directly)

Answer 9

How about something extremely southern - like New Zealand?

"Sweet as" - we say it in contexts where a North American would say, "perfectly all right", or "yes, sure, fine":

"Have you got enough food there, man?"
"Sweet as!"

When I first heard it, having recently arrived in New Zealand from the UK, I kept thinking people were complimenting my rear-end when they were saying it.
Well, too bad...

;-)

Answer 10

Well, kiss my grits, that's fine as snuff an' not near as dusty. If'n I'da knowed I was gonna live this long I'da took better care of myself!