One of my really good friends life is getting really ****** up! Her abusive mom that she hates keeps calling her and making her cry. The boy she loves just got picked up for weed. His parents hate her and she hasnt done anything for them to hate her. I dont know what to do for her. She is always crying and depressed. I feel sooo bad for her.
2007-12-18 14:44:33 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Hey there,
I know how that can feel, or at least i know how it felt when it happened to one of my friends.
In my experience some of the best things you can do are as follows.
1. Take her out to a movie/the zoo/the aquarium, and lunch/dinner, something that she will like doing that will give you guys some time to have fun, some time to relax, sometime to talk about things, and some time for her to get her mind off things.
2.Bake/cook her one of her favourite things that you know she loves (Or buy it if you can't make it or don't have the time) and then sit down with her and eat it and talk about things.
3. Ask her boyfriend to write her letters (if he is in jail) about how he is but to try and keep his negative experiences to a minimum, that way she will know how his life is without having to feel so lonely.
4. If she is the kind of person, just go up to her anmd give her a really big hug and don't let go for a while, maybe try telling her (while hugging her) that everything will be okay and that life has its ups and down and that you know her life is a pain but you'll always be there for her.
5. If you think its appropriate and you have the guts (not to say your cowardly if you don't, it's just that some people arn't like this) go tell her mum to leave her alone and go _____ (fill in the blank :P) herself and that how would she feel if someone berrated her the way she berrates her daughter (if she reply's "i'd understand cause i deserved it" then tell her that only someone who is inhuman and cruel would say that kind of thing).
And 6. If you have the money/time take her away for a weak to somewhere remote where it is just you and her and take some stuff to entertain you like games/movies/yummy food, etc. try to take her mind of stuff for the first few days to calm her down a bit and clear her head a bit and then about half way through broach the sensitive topics and talk them through (you can push them a bit but not so much as your being pushy if you understand my meaning), let her cry on her shoulder and smile at her alot so she knows you love her for who she is no matter what is going on in her life and no matter what anyone else thinks.
Sorry fdor the long winded answer, i hope it helps.
2007-12-18 15:03:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
we are, each of us, responsible for our own lives and how they are lived out. Your friend is making some bad choices, and she's paying the price...if her mom calls and is abusive, nothing prevents her from hanging up, or not even answering the phone. She needs to make better choices of boyfriends, and what her deadbeat boyfriend's parents think of her doesn't mean a thing, unless of course, she agrees with what they think. Personally, I would suggest, if she were my friend, that she get some cognitive behavioral therapy, and start taking some responsibility for her own life, instead of blaming her misery on the actions of others.
2007-12-18 14:50:20 · answer #2 · answered by essentiallysolo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell her to get their number blocked, she doesn't need to have them calling her to just criticize her and make her feel bad. the best thing to do is be there for her, if she needs to talk listen. tell her this is a rough patch and she will get through it. whatever you do she needs to know that her feelings are justified (ie: if she's crying saying she doesn't deserve all the crap that her parents give her, don't blow it off. those are feelings that need to be validated, as with many others). just offer support. make sure she doesn't mope around. it sounds hard but the best thing for her right now is to stay physically active and to eat right that way her body(including mind) will be able to maintain itself. if things get to bad she may want to go see a doctor. they might be able to suggest things that could really help her, perhaps seeing a therapist to talk things out(a lot of times the government will pay for this). just let her know that there are ppl there for her and don't let her be alone for consecutive days. good luck hope things work out for her
2007-12-18 14:56:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
you have had it tough, yet please do no longer provide up. you at the instant are in cost of your life and the final thank you to bury the handed is to stay now those issues you always needed. ideas: in case you always needed long hair...enable it strengthen. choose for a game or pastime you like...and choose for it. locate some friends you could relate to...and be your self. flow to varsity a minimum of area-time or at night and learn something you're fairly interested in. ultimately do the "wild-element" this is something you always had to do yet have been too shy or too controlled via others to do....relish life!!!
2016-11-04 00:21:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for her show her that you'll be her friend untill the end and you won't leave her
Sometimes the best thing for pain is FRIENDSHIP
Don't try and make her talk she'll open up to you when she's ready
2007-12-18 15:02:29 · answer #5 · answered by Kiki M 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She needs to start cussing some people out for one thing..nothing feels better than telling someone off who has made your life a living heck.
2007-12-18 14:47:06 · answer #6 · answered by hatingmsn 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
FOR ONE THING I THINK THAT SHE SHOULD TALK ABOUT IT WITH HER FAMILY I THINK IT HELPS ALOT NOT MANY PARENTS CAN FIGURE OUT HOW WE FEEL.
AND if they dont then she's just gonna have to seperate from them they shouldn't ruin her life because of nothing :[
i feel sad for her
plus tell her your there for her and whatever she needs you'll be there by her side.
2007-12-18 14:55:42 · answer #7 · answered by LOVE<3 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Show her you care and love her. I'm not saying cater to her every wimpering request, but I mean..be there for her.
If you can't think of anything to say, it's okay. Just sit there and be quiet and just...be with her.
I'm sorry, I hope something goes better for her.
2007-12-18 14:48:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
In this time you must help your friend. ofcourse this kind of situation make anybody cry and depress but if u help her, she can getout of this problem. you make her happy (give the gift, take her for visiting,movie, anyhow make her entertainment) & incourage for the new begining.
2007-12-18 15:04:25 · answer #9 · answered by sangit 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
wow...i feel so bad for her. listen, here's wut u shood do:
invite her ovr ur house and sit down with her 2 talk about everything. if she duznt hav az much 2 say az u xpected, DONT PUSH HER. just sitting down 2gethr shood make her feel bettr. then aftr the feelings thing, let her spend sum time with u. hav a sleepovr or sumthing. it'll cheer her up and make her feel like her life is normal agen.
good luk! :)
2007-12-18 14:49:22 · answer #10 · answered by bluekiwi 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋