Her husband is abusive, pinned her down in tears because she did not feel like sex, he controls her, who she talks to, he gives her money weekly for just the basics. he breaks into her work computer with clients records to see if she is cheating. He told her if she ever thought of leaving or anything he would tell her kids, family, co-workers that she is a slut. They go without sex for weeks. He wont even buy airconditing during the summer even with three kids. He has gained over 100 pounds since they got married, went back to school but dropped out cause it was too hard.
She met a guy who is amazing to her. He is there for her with no pressure. He is kind, caring and treats her right. She confessed to me about him pinning her down in tears beggin him to get off of her. Then she told me that he would tell everyone including her kids she was a slut if she ever went against him. I asked her would her new guy do something like that? Her reply was "of course not, he loves me."
2007-12-18 14:34:07 · 3 answers · asked by mike s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
she realized what she had just said. That her husband would say things to the kids and lie, but she knew this new guy woud not because he loved her. She has confessed alot and its mostly emotional stuff. I think she needs to get a divorce. But since her husband made the threat to tell her kids shes a slut she has gone cold turkey from talking to this other man she admits she has fallen in love with. She is scared. She admits she realized she is in a abusive marriage but there is nothing she can do.
This other guy is still there for her and would do anything to help her. He is supportive, caring and has never pushed her. She has closed up feelings for the one guy because she is too afraid to get out of the abusive marriage. When he hurts her she defends it saying its not often, or she probally deserved it.
She is with the wrong man. she should be with someone who is there for her and that is not her husband, I want to help her I want her to at leave him and see where...
2007-12-18 14:47:46 · update #1
the new guy relationship leads. She was so happy the way he treated her, she had a bounce to her step and just made her happy, he was there for her, remembered things going on in her life.
It crushed me to hear what her husband would do if she crossed him. then when I asked her about the new guy even after she went cold turkey on him "he would never do that because he loves me" I just found it sad.
This guy has been great for her but she is so scared to divorce because of what he will do or worse tell the kids.
This new guy has said he would do what ever is needed to help her but she wont talk to him even though she tells me how much she misses him....
2007-12-18 14:52:20 · update #2
I can understand some responces saying "wait till she figures things out before she hooks up with the new guy."
My responce is she needs someone as a piller of stregnth to be there for her. To be loving and supportive. Someone to help her out, talk to cry to.
Im not saying get a divorce and move in with the other guy. Im saying he cares about her and is very supportive and loving to her, WHY close that door when that is something she needs now more then ever.
2007-12-18 14:55:36 · update #3
She needs to run far away from the other man, lest she commits adultery. Suggest to her to go to abused spouses counseling.
2007-12-18 14:47:07 · answer #1 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is never a good idea to go from one relationship(or marriage) right into another.She will only carry her emotional baggage with her.She will need time to recover(heal) from the present 'bondage'.First thing she should do is seek refuge in a battered women's shelter( any means necessary to escape the abuser). Her primary concern right now should be her own safety as well as the safety of her children.
2007-12-18 15:20:10 · answer #2 · answered by libbyM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she needs to get out of the marriage....
the other relationship needs to wait until she gets herself together....
2007-12-18 14:40:19 · answer #3 · answered by from HJ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋