I have only been married for 3 years and we have a 2 yr old child. My husband is really starting to bore me, it is like he doens't like to have fun anymore or muck around. Went to a function and started flirting with another guy, nothing happened, but I am blaming him for the flirting as I think if he was fun and outgoing, I wouldn't need too?? What do you think??
2007-12-18 14:25:45 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The grass is NOT greener- trust me, I have seen plenty of friends make that mistake and they always tell me how envious they are of the very solid relationship I have with my husband. But it took work! and commitment!
Having been married for 26 years, I can tell you there are plenty of pot holes, and boring stretches (usually when one or both of us was stressed out doing things like a career, family etc). But there is also the huge gift of knowing at least one person in this world accepts me as I am, warts and all. I don't need to pretend to be someone else, or have to be perfect! (neither does he!)
It takes work, and yes, the everyday routine of raising a child can be tedious, tiring, boring etc- but it is up to you to reengage with your husband. Think about/remind each other what it was that made you love each other to begin with- its still there, no doubt (or you would have already flown the nest). Make time for yourselves, somehow, remember to have fun. Your behaviour is a symptom, sure, but you can fix it- stop flirting with other men- try it with your husband! (he is probably wondering where the woman he married has gone!). Otherwise you risk the happiness of all. Good Luck.
2007-12-18 14:52:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As his actions are wrong so are yours, you love him and want him to be responcible for his actions by having fun and being outgoing and yes muck around, so you have to be responcible for your actions (right) he's at fault for his own faults and you're at fault for your own faults. what you did was wrong and you can't blame him for what you did.......
I'm a man and like it or not we have to be told because if we have to guess
we both know how Long that could take. we men are kinda stupid yeah stupid, But like most people men and women get into a rut and we get comfortable with a darn rut....Life just doesn't seem to have much to offer.
So take him by the hand like you would a child i really mean this too.
and explain things to him like he's the most stupid idiot on the planet... Oh with the t.v OFF...
a list of reasons why he bores you. but start by saying I am doing this because I'm in Love with you read your list.
when you are done.
Then be quiet! And listen to what will seem like excuses'
and you'll find out what his side of the story is,
fair is fair and he's your husband and you his wife, Then get a baby sitter and tell him that he's going to take you out and when you get back he's going to muck around with you and that's the way it's going to be.
Then after you do all of that repeat this until the idiot understands that this is going to be the different rut.
Again I'm sorry but we men are in fact stupid our brain just sits there and wonders around thinking about well not a whole lot of anything a woman could ever be interested in and that's the hard facts (LOL) Now fall for him all over again and stop that stupid flirting around Take care Dear
2007-12-18 22:50:24 · answer #2 · answered by Tony Burke 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a choice .. so don't blame your husband for your flirting ... you don't have to flirt .. you choose to flirt. You should be sad that you & your husband & your marriage is having some problems ... not that it forces you to flirt .. flirting is not an automatic reflex from being bored.
Lots of marriages get boring. I think this happens when people settle down.
Could your husband not feel well? .... or .. could you be falling out of love with your husband? Sometimes .. boredom in a marriage can mimick this.
Try telling your husband that you need fun & outgoing from him .. that it is affecting you that he is not those things anymore. Just lay it out on the table .. the truth about being bored ... maybe he will spark up for you.
2007-12-18 22:40:06 · answer #3 · answered by Tara 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey.....you are so WRONG..first don't start to put blame on flirting cause there is no excuse when your MARRIED HELLO!!! second TALK to him let him know how you feel...it happens at times when men feel TOO comfortable in the relationship..That is why their is so many divorces, couples don't last anymore. How sad honey...Their is a GOD out there establish a relationship with him and you'll see things so different. be patient and communicate with your husband I will keep the 3 of you in my prayers. Good luck
2007-12-18 22:33:07 · answer #4 · answered by peternlizh 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sit him down and tell him how you feel. If he doesn't know you're finding him boring, he won't change. You have to express to him that you want the two of you to get out more and do more fun and exciting things.
Let him know that he needs to compromise because in a marriage, it's a two-way street.. you two have to work together to keep one another happy otherwise a marriage will fail.
2007-12-18 22:30:34 · answer #5 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you want an affair and want to blame it on somebody so you don't feel so crappy..... he (your husband) could be the worst guy in the world.... but that shouldn't make you become a **** and sleep around with guys.... why don't you find something to do... or marry a clown so you are entertained all the time?
2007-12-18 23:09:18 · answer #6 · answered by BitterSweet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your husband is no longer outgoing or does not want to muck around sounds like he is bored also. Be creative and spice up the love life. rent a porn and copy what they do on TV.
when he comes home from work one day leave a note with a shirt, telling him where the next note is and the next....... finally leading to you naked waiting for him. Your only bored because you let yourself be bored. Intertain your self and use your husband to do it. be creative.
2007-12-18 22:34:38 · answer #7 · answered by liitlebitt_03 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You are wrong for flirting. You can't blame your husband for your bad behavior.
Remember your wedding vows, they go like this: For better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, to love and to cherish until DEATH do us part. Not until you get bored, or did you not really mean them when you vowed them. Did you have your fingers crossed behind your back when you said them?
2007-12-18 22:36:32 · answer #8 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
remember it takes two to tango.you recognize the problem the first thing you need to do is have a talk with him and see if there is something you both can change.keep the flirting on the back burner and give your marriage a shot first.
2007-12-18 22:34:56 · answer #9 · answered by Mac 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if your husband bores you, you may ever think he bores you cause you bore him.....? spice it up...go an extra mile......get down and dirty if you have to.....give it a chance....of course you guys will bore each other down the line you promised to be married to each other for life.it ain`t all gonna be glory.it s a part of you both grpowing together along the way...god gurl wait till real problems start to hit .trust me have some fun.he`ll love it more then you think.you on`t be bored for a while.lol
2007-12-18 22:35:56 · answer #10 · answered by mimi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋