OK I have been divorced for 9 years, my ex wife and I still get along ok, but she has a boyfriend which theur relationship is kind of rocky, she talks to me but Im not sure she has the same feelings anymore as I do. How can I tell her without messing up the friendship we have or should I just wait for her and see if she makes the first move?
2007-12-18 13:55:43 · 22 answers · asked by ? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To add to this I must let everyone know that in the past 9yrs we have been together intimately since our divorce, and she comes to see me I dont go to her house. And this bf shes got she has been with him only 9 months, even being with him she comes over while he is at work or at home passed out from drinling too much. That is why I think she may still may have feelings for me. It is not a fantasy or pipe dream. We have been together since shes had this boyfriend so what does that tell you who think it is just me.
2007-12-19 04:39:15 · update #1
Just sit her down sometime when you know you wont be interrupted ad say look we have known each other for a long time and although i love the relationship we have now and that we are friends but i dint want to go living the rest of my life with the huge what if! And tell her how much you think of her and love her still even after all this time and tell her if she no longer has those types of feelings for you that's fine and you hope she does not change your relationship now on what you have said tell her you just had to see and take a chance. shes known you long enough that she she should know when your being sincere and that your not trying to hurt her. good luck
2007-12-18 14:04:25 · answer #1 · answered by erin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
divorced 9 yrs? That's nearly a decade, is it not. Take it for what it is " finished". Getting along ok, is what ppl who are "less" than friends do. Bf or not, rocky or not, she definately doesn't have the same feelings as you, and hasn't for a very long time. If she hasn't made a move in 9 yrs then she's not going too. You can't tell her without messing up, because there is no friendship, just you hanging onto unrealistic expectations and fantasies. Stop clinging, no woman respects that. Get on with your life, your 9yrs behind, do you want to wake up in another 20 yrs, to figure out, what you should have a decade ago. That relationship is "HISTORY", go find a future!, when and if, her bf leaves she will, but you will not be in it.
2007-12-18 15:11:56 · answer #2 · answered by ferochira 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, think about what happened 9 years ago for you to go through a divorce. Was it her that wanted it? If so, your chances of a response you'd be happy with are slim to none. If not and you really feel like you want to let her know how you're feeling, start off slowly. Try to make the friendship stronger. Wait for her and the current boyfriend to break it off, but give yourself a time limit of how long you're willing to wait. If things are going well, ask her if she'd like to start dating again. Tell her how you feel. If she doesn't feel the same way, then you know it's time to move on with your life. At least you tried and you will never wonder "what if".
2007-12-18 14:12:22 · answer #3 · answered by nance223 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Funny you should ask. I'm in the same situation. When the time is right just tell her. Don't worry too much at the moment of what her feelings are. What's important is that you told her and you don't have to go through your life wondering what would have happened if she knew. In my case my ex husband is remarried but I told him anyway. I know he wouldn't leave his wife because he wouldn't put his kids through a divorce. But he did say he'd always love me. With that I'm content. What's meant to be is meant to be. Maybe something will change in the future but at least I know that he knows and he can use this information (lack of better word) however he desires.
2007-12-18 16:44:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Neither. You had your chance and whatever broke you apart has a good chance of doing it again. I think it is in the best interest of both of you to stay apart. I'm sure the both of you don't want to revisit that time again in your lives when you initially got divorced. Some people can be best of friends but terrible spouses.
2007-12-18 14:04:43 · answer #5 · answered by Help 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you both been separated for a a very long while, and that things change,tell her if she would want to give you another chance. That you found out who you are and that you know what you want in life and that you have much stronger feelings for her than before.
2007-12-18 14:01:38 · answer #6 · answered by TonyBoy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you could wait forever .....so i think depends on the reason you divorced you should tell her.Are you sure you love her or are you just lonely and she is like something you know and are comfy with.. think about it it didn't work out for a reason the first time
2007-12-18 14:00:29 · answer #7 · answered by Pia F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her. Sometimes you just have to make the move. Otherwise someone else will come and take her away. Do not wait, just tell her. She'll hardly be able to be mad at you for loving her. We, women, actually love to be loved:)
2007-12-18 13:59:29 · answer #8 · answered by foxy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't rock the boat. It would be interesting to know who asked for the divorce.
2007-12-18 13:59:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Play it cool.
Let her make a move.
We men after divorce get messages confused often.
2007-12-18 13:59:20 · answer #10 · answered by alpla 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋