I have been with my husband for 7 years now. Before I met him I was working on my Bachelor's. We moved to another town and I had no probelms switching to a community college. I have taken all the classes I need and now after stretching 2 years of college over 7 years I want to go to back to a University to complete my degree but we don't have one in our town. I want to move back to my old town but he doesn't want to go. I said I will move there myself and visit when I can for two years and then come back. He said he just devastated! It turned into this big ordeal but I never meant that we should break up.
Number one it is one of my life goals to get at least a Bachelor's before I'm 30 and the clock is ticking!
Number two we are both working minimum wage jobs and saving whatever we can. He wants to spend our big savings on a new car or big TV and thinks school is a waste.
Do you think I'm being selfish?
2007-12-18 13:23:51 · 6 answers · asked by Nikki 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We don't have kids.
2007-12-18 13:27:19 · update #1
I don't think wanting to complete your degree is selfish, but the way you are doing it is making things more difficult than they have to be. Surely there is an online Bachelor's program you could take or a University that is closer to where you are now.
I applaud your efforts to further your education!!!!
2007-12-18 13:27:26 · answer #1 · answered by Wildflower 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, I think your husband is being selfish. He's trying to hold you back because he's probably one of those traditional 'manly men' who are afraid of educated women who make more money than them!! Personally, I would move and tell him that he has the choice to either go with you or to stay behind. Education is much more important than staying in some crappy town with some uneducated minimum wage worker who's ultimate goal in life is a bigger TV. He's not supportive and he's controlling you by holding you back. Yuck!! You already made that mistake once when you were first married and you obviously regret it, so don't make it again.
2007-12-18 21:36:46 · answer #2 · answered by some female 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Education is Never a waste! If he really wants to spend $$ on a new car or TV when you're both working for minimum wage.....You should stand your ground. Move to your University town and tell him he can go with you or Not. What's he leaving behind anyway??A minimum wage job! Or you can listen to his BS, stay where you are and live the same way forever.
2007-12-18 21:31:43 · answer #3 · answered by sandy t 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ah the art of negotiation/compromise.
no it isn't selfish to want to better yourself, attain goals, and ultimately benefit not only you, but your husband via your accomplishments.
i get the feeling that he might be a bit jealous. but i could be wrong.
anyways. look into more than just that one university. talk to him about it, ask him if there's any other place he'd like to live, in which there's a local university. there are jobs all over the place, he can find a new one. make the decision a team effort. it might go a bit better.
2007-12-18 21:34:26 · answer #4 · answered by celticbuddha 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why can't you finish your education at the college that you have been going to? It is not selfish to want to finish school but it is to expect him to live like that. It will cost twice as much money since you will be living separately and your marriage will suffer. Will it hold up to this? I can see wanting to better yourself but not at the expense of your marriage.
2007-12-18 21:30:23 · answer #5 · answered by kim h 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No I don't---- but have you considered online courses to minimize both your commute and his insecurities-its a great option also Center for distance learning or CDL courses work well too-I did both and got my bachelors that way-it was great!Good luck dont give up on your education!
2007-12-18 21:33:51 · answer #6 · answered by Lunaeclipz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋