When a man cheats on a woman, why do the two women get mad at each other and not the man?

Question

I've never understood that. If my boyfriend cheated on me, I wouldn't be happy with the other woman, but 99.9% of my anger would be directed at HIM. I mean we're the ones in a relationship, not me and the other woman. She has no loyalty to me.

Yet, time and time again, I see women fighting each other over a cheating man rather than being mad at the man who has betrayed them both. What gives?

Answer 1

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!! Not only that but the woman he is caught with gets the HOT TAR AND FEATHERS and road out of town on a rail!!!!! He goes home happy and carefree back to mama. I have always felt that there must have been a reason for him to find another anyway...so all three are to blame here. But the "Other Woman's" reputation and life get ruined!!!

Answer 2

Because women are very territorial and nurtures of our home front. When a husband cheats on his wife he is totally responsible for giving into temptation and takes away your saftey and comfort in the relationship.He is the one that you give your love and trust to with your life because he committed to do that. The mistress more than likely doesn't care about you and feels that she owes you nothing. She is heartless and only cares about herself because if she had decent morals knowing a man is married she would not desire to even get close to him. A mistress often works very hard to win the challenge and when it doesn't work out in her favor that's when her true character and claws come out and the wife is ready to defend her spouse even though he caused this problem in the first place.

Answer 3

Very good question. I think some women expect to be betrayed by men, but they feel a kinship with other women and take that as a betrayal of their "sisterhood". I don't buy into it though. Both women should gang up on the guy and beat the crap out of him then go have drinks.

However some women feel that if a man is married and wears a ring, that the other woman is to blame automatically. Hey it isn't like the man didn't have a choice.

Answer 4

Most women are instinctive, it's in their nature to fight/be competitive. A reason that the woman goes after the other woman is because of the mentality that she recieves. Simply put "What does this girl have that i don't!" Thus, the anger goes toward the other woman who has the "desirable qualities" that her man was looking for. Personally, I would take it out on the man, he's that one that should know better.

Answer 5

Doesn't make any logical sense, but relationships involve tons of emotions, and jealousy is a powerful emotion-so it's easier to hate the interloper than deal with the pain and betrayal of your partner. I don't get why some men want to beat a guy up for looking at, being with or cheating with his girlfriend or wife either. I think cheating can be a lot more complicated then just getting distracted by lust or emotions, quite often there's something going wrong in the primary relationship to begin with.

Answer 6

Men are hard wired to lust after women Conquering women is a big part of mans nature It seems no matter how nice a one they are with something in them seeks more even if only in thought Since the majority of men are this way makes it normal Women who truly understands mans nature wont fight the other woman they would use it to further understand the man they are dealing with

Answer 7

All my anger would be directed at my boyfriend unless of course, the girl he cheated with is a friend of mine, then the anger would be split. Otherwise, I wouldn't assume that the woman knew anything about me.

edit: Yes, I have noticed this and it doesn't make any sense to me. It's like their jealousy overrides any feeling of betrayal they might have.

Answer 8

I too always get angry at the man, not the woman he cheats with. Because it was him who claimed to love ME, it is his responsibility that he does not stand what he says.

Answer 9

(1) If she constantly insults the other woman and causes drama, she mistakenly thinks the man will also hate the other woman.

(2) It's less dangerous to express hate to the person who didn't actually betray you, if you're staying with your man.

Answer 10

Well, it's much "easier" to get mad at someone whom you don't have an emotional attachment to, isn't it? If you love the one who just cheated on you, it's easier to displace your anger onto someone else. (That doesn't make it right, however.) Emotional investment often causes us to want to rationalize and justify what our loved ones do wrong...it's an ego-defense mechanism. If we can blame someone else, then we can continue to be with the person who wronged us. Most people, however, eventually (when they calm down and start thinking rationally about the situation), come to realize those errors in thinking. It's just difficult, at first, because you want to believe that the one you love wouldn't have done something (on his/her own) to hurt you.