My Friend Has Anorexia and Maybe Bulimia. How Can I Help Her?

Question

I get really upset because she is my best friend. Everyone is coming up to me commenting how frail she looks. When I hug her all i can feel are bones. Her face is gaunt and pasty, her hands are always cold, and she DOES NOT EAT A THING AT SCHOOL but makes me eat lots instead. Her fingers look dead, and she keeps disappearing off to the toilet all the time. When we tell her to eat her lunch, she makes excuses - I've lost my appetite, i ate already, or I've got lots of homework. I know she doesn't feel good because she acts strange and moody all of the time. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want her to die, but i don't know how to hate her... she would kill me if i told a teacher or anything, but I've considered doing so because I'd rather sacrifice our friendship than her life. Do you have any suggestions on how I can help the girl?

Answer 1

The first and most difficult thing is to try and help her admit this is a problem. The very cause of these diseases will make that very difficult indeed. Read up on it a little and you will understand more. If she does not want to help herself, it will be difficult for you to help her. It may come down to friends and family doing an intervention, but that would be a last resort.
Good luck and best wishes to your friend.

Answer 2

Eating disorders are very hard to deal with. I kind of have/had one. I am getting over it, but it is very difficult. When I started it was about my weight, but as I got further into that was just a perk. Like losing weight was a plus of having it, but it wasn't why I was starving myself or puring. Talk to her and be there all the time. I am sure she feels alone, even when you are there. Find out why she is really doing it. She might say that she is fat, which she probably believes. But generally there is something else that drives an ED. Helping someone with an ED is very hard because they don't want to change. The longer they have one, the harder it is to help them. Just try to be there for her, do nice things, like text her in the middle of the day to say hi, or do little nice stuff, so she doesn't feel alone. Usually people with ED's feel alone. If you want to talk about it email me I would love to help you and your friend. Also telling her she is too thin may not be good, it might make her want to work harder at her ED. Telling her she is fat will do the same thing. If you are a really good friend with her, don't leave her because of it. It will be really hard to help her out of it, but you really need to help her through it. Be honest with her, and don't try tricking her or anything like that. You should tell someone though. I would talk to her first about it.

Answer 3

I think you need to talk to her family and a teacher, and that an intervention has to be arranged. She needs to go to an eating disorder treatment centre for help.

I am fairly sure that if your other friends have noticed how thin she is, the chances are that her family are also aware of the state of her health. Contact them and offer your help and support, but be tactful about it. And yes, you probably should suggest a visit to the doctor to them .... I'm sure they will appreciate the fact that you care, but I don't know how they will take it.

Answer 4

They sound like the signs of both anorexia and bullimia. i.e. doesnt like eating in front of people, doesnt like eating in general, possible self inflicted vomitting.
talk to her about it first and suggest her getting some medical help, see how she reacts. If she reacts negatively then it's up to you whether you go to a teacher or her parents. Don't worry about doing it, if she doesnt do something then someone HAS to! your definetly right about sacrificing friendship over life.
Ive seen how anorexics and bullimists get (only in documentaries) and its not pretty. Try to stick with her and be helpful throughout her recovery.
Good luck!

Answer 5

tell a teaher but 1st talk 2 her nd confront her if she comees out and tell u just act casual and dont make a big deal...ket her know y she shudnt in a sofyt calm voice let her techers know!!! ur rite beter ur friendship than her life....and she WILL turn around and thank u 1day!!...anorexia and bulemia is not a way u feel its a disease...ans its not physical its mental that affects the physical...just let an adult know as soon as possible...

if u were truly her friend u would...otherwise u r already sacrificing ur friend ship with her by not telling sum1 AND ebasically helping her get worse!

Answer 6

You need to talk to a counselor or to her parents. Tell them your fears about what she is doing to herself and tell them what you have seen and what she has said.
I would adivise you against going straight to her with your concerns. That can lead to fights, which can make her even worse. I had that experience with a friend, we eventually worked it out and she got her problems worked out, but I would advise against going straight to her.
Go to her parents or a school counselor. There was one thing my teacher told me when we were talking about eatting disorders. She said, "Would you rather have a pissed off friend, or a dead friend?" Its shocking to think about, but you need to go to someone ASAP, before its too late.
If she gets mad at you, remember that after she gets help and starts to recover, she will thank you for saving her and caring so much about her.

Answer 7

tell her you extremely care approximately her, and that if she would not commence eating quickly, you may tell an grownup. you additionally can tell her that she is in simple terms too skinny, and she or he's risking her existence. a splash comprehend actuality is that as quickly as women like your pal commence eating returned, they benefit extra weight because of the fact their bodies bypass into starvation Mode and picture they gained't get food returned for a protracted time.

Answer 8

Give her compliments about the way she looked before, but don't tell her that she looks ugly. Tell her the consiquences, and tell a councelor, or your mom. she might hate you then, but in the long run, she'll love you for doing this.

Answer 9

Get her counciling amd to see a doctor