I have this ex.bf nick who i dated on off for almost a year it was a roller coaster ride,we broke up at least 6-7 times and at one point were engaged but called it off 3 times even when we had set dates for the church.I am 19 going to be 20 in march in college as a commuter and he 23 yrs old and just graduated from another college.He came back wanting get back together and get married.But i feel that after all the fighting we went through,him cheating on me(one occasion that i am aware of),crazy emotions,and the long distance relationship(him in NYC/me in NJ).He has no job right now ,barley graduated college, all he wants to do still is party,play video games, live in parents basment,and he calls this finding himself?He expects me to be able to hangout or be avaliable whenever he calls to talk 24/7.I feel i already messed up a semester because of his drama so i need to focus on school(my major),my future goals, and preparing for life.I still have feelings for him what too do?
2007-12-18 09:20:43 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I still want to have fun hangout but i want my own circle of friends not just his friends.I also will be getting a part time job soon probably this summer.He thinks we are a couple again but i think this needs to end?how do i do that ithout causing issues?
2007-12-18 09:23:43 · update #1
Finish your studies, and Find Yourself.
2007-12-18 09:25:30 · answer #1 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be honest with him. Tell him that due to the fact that you want to make the most of your time in College, you won't be able to devote the time to this relationship.
You could tell him its over, he's free to look elsewhere (and so are you). If he's so busy "finding himself" which equates to bumming around doing whatever mood takes him, then you don't need him in your life.
Certainly you don't need to marry him. He should be grown up, a responsible adult, and know who he is, be employed and financially stable, and know the direction he wants his life to take BEFORE making that sort of commitment.
2007-12-18 09:34:47 · answer #2 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just end it. Screw the "issues" you think you are trying to avoid. This guy is NOT right for you and I think from what you said, you know it already. Just move on. Don't let him guilt you into prolonging this unhealthy and immature (on his part) relationship. You can find someone better who is a grown-up, not a baby like this guy is.
2007-12-18 09:27:26 · answer #3 · answered by makeloans2 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wait! There is no substitute for patience. Give yourself time to know you. The same is true for him. It might work five or ten years from now, but it's not going to work out now. It may never work out, but better to wait and grow than commit and regret.
2007-12-18 09:37:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
whenever you're thinking of your feelings for him, start visualizing that if you married this guy..
- you're going to live in his parents basement..
- work your *** out to support his partying, and playing video games.
- and basically you will just be a poor wife who made the wrong decision and cannot even afford to treat yourself in a spa or buy yourself a shirt/dress or even nice lingerie
I think that will do it.
2007-12-18 09:33:43 · answer #5 · answered by brittanique 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you can't do it without causing issues... just tell him it's over and don't answer his phone calls or anything.. if he loves you he would want you to focus on your studies... just don't answer his calls anymore....SB
2007-12-18 09:26:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋