Ok..My son of 14 years came home today with a penis drawed around his belly button..When i asked who did it he said a guy? He don't see anything wrong with it??? He's always coming home with something written on his hand or his arms..this is the first time its been something vulgar like this..usually its names or something like that..We've told him time and time again not to be drawing on his self but yet he still does it and this time its a penis...uggghhh..So my question is how do I explain the reasoning why this isn't right and what should I do...put him on restriction, or what?? Any advice would be great!!
2007-12-18 09:15:58 · 49 answers · asked by Jess05 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
He pulled up his shirt to scratch his stomach..is how I seen his stomach
2007-12-18 09:20:36 · update #1
Hello,
Isn't 14 just a great age....lived through two boys of that age and have one more to live through.
You are lucky and this is the only thing yours is doing to express himself. I have one at that age who came home with makeup and his hair dyed, finger nail polish, all in black by the way!!
The kid is just expressing himself. As you found out you can fight with the kid you can ground him whatever, kids will find a way to express themselves. If not in the open, they will secretly.
Have a talk with him on the cleanliness as for putting ink on his body. If he is sticking pins in his body. Explain to your kid what is appropriate ask him to change the penis into something else and you will be fine with it.
Give the kid some room to express himself. I personally never see my boys with there shirts off so I have no clue what is on that part of there bods.
I had a step kid at one time whom pierced his nipples, now that was a little bit much if you ask me!!
Wish you well!
2007-12-18 09:29:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whoa. First of all, height has nothing to do with age. An 11 year old is nowhere near the physical or emotional maturity of a 14 year old. Most male 11 year olds haven't reached puberty yet. This is a situation that could clearly be perceived as sexual abuse, no matter how much the 11 year old may seem to be consenting. In a word, yes, it's bad. And you should get as far away from this situation as possible before you find yourself with a juvenile sex offender label you will NEVER be able to be rid of.
2016-04-10 06:36:22 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's probably just a joke to him.
Show him (Not explain him) that you find it weird and vulgar, so he'll stop doing stupid things like that. It' quite normal, I was at a military highschool and there I learned that every teenage male has some sort of obsession with phalic stuff.
Plus, most teens draw on their arms, but belly... I guess that's a little more extreme but, still not weird. It's just part of what being a teen is, you shouldn't worry too much.
2007-12-18 12:32:41 · answer #3 · answered by Psycho Panda 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What you need to do is IGNORE this behavior from your son. Every child has some 'rebellion' and your son is 'right on the money' for this 'writing on himself' or letting others write on him. If you try putting him on restriction or punishing him in any way, he may want to get tattoos (which are FINE but you MUST BE over 18 to get one legally, unless you have a parent's signature and the parent there for the actual tattooing). Tell your son that you 'think it's weird' that he wants to have 'stuff drawn on his body' but that it is HIS BODY and he can do anything to it that is NOT PERMANENT ... but that he must be able to 'cover it completely' (with his clothes) so that you don't have to see it or look at it ... then just leave him alone. Believe it or not, as soon as you stop 'reacting' to this behavior, it should start to disappear ... but beware, because there is MORE REBELLION to come. Don't worry, though, because 95-99% of the 'childhood rebels' are actually very NORMAL people when they reach adulthood ... moreso if their parents DO NOT REACT to the 'rebellious behavior' in the first place.
2007-12-18 09:23:54 · answer #4 · answered by Kris L 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's really not that big of a deal, loads of kids draw on themselves, he was probably just having a laugh with his mates. But if it really bothers you that much, you're the mum, forbid him to do it. Still, I think that's a bit of an overreaction, he's 14, not 4. You could at least ask him not to draw anything vulgar though.
2007-12-19 11:08:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him if it would be wierd if you started drawing penises and ******* on your stomach. Maybe he jsut thinks its funny cuase well it is kinda funny. SInce he keeps repeating it maybe, he's....... okay to be honest i have no idea i think the best thing you've got here is to pretend you don't care at all about the writing then casually ask him why he does it, pretend you're just talking about normal things. ANd then when he truthfully tells you why then go from there, but if you were him and you were doing somehtign your parents didn't want you to do how would you want your mom to confront you about it? DO that with him and you might get a truthfull answer from him
2007-12-18 09:39:52 · answer #6 · answered by Come again 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a 14 year old girl that knows happenings at school...your son and his friends are probably just playing around. Personally I feel that these are vulgar acts as well, but you have to understand that to them it's honestly just harmless fun. Also at this age anything you say especially anything you say against there actions will seem like a stab. I don't know if it's because I'm a girl or I'm said to be mature for my age, but give time...just make sure he knows you're unsettled by it and don't come off as defensive as soon as you see him...but remember at this age it's all he knows to do, (be defensive). Also remember it isn't your fault, us children spend most of our time at school and some of us especially males are easily influenced.
2007-12-18 09:28:44 · answer #7 · answered by Ashley A 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should be asking yourself who is this guy who is getting so intimate with your son that he draws a penis so close from your son's real penis, who says he's a kid? could be an adult, you need to speak with the principal of his school and get help to get to know if your son is about to be molested or had being already.
2007-12-18 09:23:57 · answer #8 · answered by David Drakov 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are any of the other words negative? It sounds like your son is letting people write/draw on him thinking its cool but they are more making fun of him.. He's 14 shouldn't he know that is another male draws a penis on him its strange? I would talk with your son and see why hes allowing this.
2007-12-18 09:21:17 · answer #9 · answered by SunLover 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
thank goodness there are more childern like this. My little sister is 13 and she is always writing all over her hands legs, and not always the nicest things either and all her friends do it and the penis is a very common one she draws on her feet. It is strange but probably nothing to worry about.... there is a whole new generation of kids out there... just talk to him... let him know you are open to talk to him(chances are he wont want to) but let him know you are there!!! Good Luck
2007-12-18 09:23:23 · answer #10 · answered by simply sarah 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋