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We've been physically seperated about 7 months but have been emotionally seperated for quit some time.

Anyway...I'm dating a man totally opposite of my husband. He's charming, affectionate, considerate, fun, loving, etc... and I don't want to keep him a secret for too much longer. Should I tell my soon to be ex about him?

2007-12-18 09:14:56 · 42 answers · asked by QuEEn B 4 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

42 answers

"Always Complete One Relationship, Before Starting Another".

When It is Complete, It is No longer His Business.

2007-12-18 09:20:51 · answer #1 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 1 1

"particularly divorced" is hardly a demonstration of a thoroughly severed relationship. talking as somebody who became divorced and then had his spouse marry returned 4 months later, i'm able to somewhat say that ANY new relationship that he has with yet another woman is going to sting the sentiments of his ex-spouse. except, of path, she is likewise relationship. the belief is that a divorce finishes the relationship, the certainty is that emotions and perceptions persist for an prolonged time after that. I nevertheless capture myself thinking approximately my ex if I happen upon an previous photograph -- no longer simply by fact I even have modern emotions for her, yet simply by fact my techniques are nevertheless there. he's below no criminal accountability to tell the ex that he's relationship returned as long as HIS baby isn't in the abode once you're and would stay wide awake OVER once you're there. His ex might have an actionable grievance if something like that occurred. Very, very few divorces end amicably sufficient to allow for discussions of modern relationships. If she learns now, she'll be harm. If she learns later, she'll be harm that he did no longer tell her. it is a no-win subject, it is particularly how lots he needs to start a relationship relationship with you that counts. warning: The 'rebound' isn't a fantasy. His capacity to locate a 'new' relationship might seem stronger on the 2nd, yet his emotions ought to nevertheless be conflicted. supply this relationship element an prolonged possibility to proceed at it is own p.c.., simply by fact possibility is that he will variety on how he feels approximately you.

2016-11-23 12:59:32 · answer #2 · answered by gagliano 4 · 0 0

wow. this looks like a sticky situation. you have two main choices. you could:
1.) tell your husband now that you are dating someone else, and you want a divorce as soon as possible. (the only downside is this is more hurtful to your husband, and more wrong.)
2.) You could also keep the secret a little longer until you get officially divorced. then break the news. It wont seem as big of a deal if you're already divorced.

I'm not sure if you and your husband have already talked about seperating, and if you have, choice 1 will be fine. if you have not talked about the divorce yet and he thinks everything is fine, choice 2 is probably better.

i hope you work things out!

2007-12-18 09:21:32 · answer #3 · answered by Alyssa <3 2 · 0 1

I am not sure what you mean by your soon to be ex. Does that mean you are married, still living together, and have not yet been divorced, or even filed for divorce? If so then I would be a careful about dating. When the information gets out, and it will, it could lead to some trouble for you when it is settlement time. If you have worked out the details of the divorce, are living apart, gone to the judge, and are now waiting for it to be final then I don't think you need to share anything with ex.

2007-12-18 09:49:35 · answer #4 · answered by K K 5 · 0 0

Hm. Sorry to hear about the relationship with the soon to be ex husband. Well, i hope you've tried everything to mend the relationship but to no avail and I hope the other guy isn't just some sort of escape from emotional stress but rather, someone you truly connect with better than your Husband.

Anyway, just tell him that you are unhappy in the relationship and that things aren't how they used to be (or something). You don't have to mention the other guy. Just tell him how you really feel about YOUR relationship with HIM. After all, the main reason is because the marriage is suffering, no?
If he asks if you're seeing someone else, honestly tell him that you are. But otherwise, you don't need to get into it.
If he suggests you try marriage counseling in attempts to work it out, i suggest you do try. After all, you married him for a reason.

2007-12-18 09:23:55 · answer #5 · answered by Angelita Amante 3 · 0 0

I think that is a really BAD idea. Whatever would you want to tell him for? First of all, as long as you are still LEGALLY married, you are - still married, whether you are separated or not, so it could rebound to your harm in any legal proceedings if your husband wanted to make use of this information. Second, it sounds as though you just want to rub it in to your current husband's face that you have "found happiness" with someone else. Be aware that you could just be on the rebound, and as much as you think your current squeeze is the greatest thing since a hot bath, it doesn't mean this might not blow up in your face. I cannot think of any kind or meaningful reasons your husband needs to know, so I would recommend you keep quiet.

2007-12-18 09:23:34 · answer #6 · answered by eldots53 7 · 0 0

your both already separated unless its a long distance relationship your being greedy in sense that you decided to go off with another man
either way youve already made a solid decision you want to be with the new guy and if your ''soon to be ex'' isnt giving you what you want which is necessary for a relationship then he might as well be your ex. Although the circumstances between you and your ex are unknown except for the fact that you havent been together for some time, thus a chance should be given but you have abused his trust

2007-12-18 09:21:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

Well, as you´re talking about husband, I will tell you to tell him exactly how you´re saying. The best way of saying something is to say them directly, in the most sincere way you can. In that way you will not hurt too much the person.
If there´s a chance to see your husband it will be better, but if there´s no chance Tell him as soon as you can.
Anyway if you don´t want to break up with him, the relationship always must be sincere.; and I bet you have told yourselves the phrase "if you find someone else please tell me" so remember it. And maybe he will change to not let you go.

2007-12-18 09:24:58 · answer #8 · answered by Tomomi 3 · 0 0

First of all, I'm glad you found someone you get along well with.

But, I don't know that I'd say much if anything until you get to court and get that decree SIGNED by the judge, because until that judge signs your divorce decree, honey, you ain't divorced. You don't know what your soon-to-be ex might think or do if he finds out you're already seeing another man.

Or, he may already know it, and doesn't care. In any case, I think I'd keep it still until AFTER your divorce is a done deal. You never know what might spark the fire so to speak.

Good luck.

2007-12-18 09:23:08 · answer #9 · answered by Barbi T 3 · 0 1

Yes, but have an escape plan ahead of time. He may flip out and you don't want to be there when it happens. If things are bad enough that you are looking for someone else, you shouldn't make like things are good. Be honest, tell him and let him get on with his life too. Good luck

2007-12-18 09:19:52 · answer #10 · answered by Gilly137 3 · 0 1

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