What is the point of this marriage?

Question

My husband works. That's all he does. Days, evenings, weekends.

For months he's been telling me he's going to take off xmas so we can spend time together. Today he tells me he has work to do and won't be taking those days off. We never see eachother, it's just rediculous.

I don't need his money, I make my own and do just fine. He's just a workaholic that can't stop for anything. We had plans this Friday - my birthday - which of course got cancelled because of...guess what? Work.

I'm not sure I want to be married anymore. I mean, what is the point? What is the point of a relationship if you never spend time together, never talk, never go anywhere, do anything? Am I right?

Answer 1

Well if he is more committed to you than his work then there is a problem.

You should sit down with him and explain your concerns, but remember marriage is about give and take, it may take a compromise to settle this. Such as he takes some time of here and there.

If this doesn't work then maybe things need to be sorted out so you can both lead your separate lives.

Answer 2

You sound bitter but you have a good reason to be bitter someone should never work that much. I think he needs to be told that he is destroying the marriage and if he doesn't start taking some time off to spend with you then you have no other alternative then to get a divorce.

Your hubby needs a wake-up call and the only thing will be you leaving him or making the threat of leaving him. Is he being faithful?. Really why work so much of you work is he greedy or just wants to be able to give you anything you desire.

First off tell him the only thing you need is him and that money is not important to you. That you married him so you could spend your life with him well the last thing you expected was to be spending all your time watching TV.

Tell him flat out he is a crappy husband and if he wants to lose the term then he has to start making time for you and the marriage.

First off he must take Christmas Eve and Day off and New Years Eve and Day NO EXCEPTIONS just say if you love me you'll make it happen. REALLY YOU SHOULD BE LIKE YOUR TAKING OFF THE REST OF THE YEAR AND TAKING ME ON A NICE HOLIDAY.

God Bless and Merry Christmas.

Answer 3

I do agree...what is the point? Your not in a relationship to sit around waiting to spend possible free time with your mate. He's going to have to take a second and listen to you and your HUGE complaint and give him a few days to figure out how he can do things differently, and if not...get planning on a divorce. I can see if this was temporary, or you NEEDED the money badly - but other than that, workoholicism is an addition so I'm told...so he might need help too.

Answer 4

To a point....have you asked your husband why he works so much? Maybe he is trying to save up for retirement....or is trying to justify something? But if he is working these hours to avoid being with you is another matter. If he cares, he will sit down and discuss this with you and explain his reasons. Just don't schedule it, make the time when he is home. Maybe he will reevaluate the situation to spend more time......Never Put Someone A Priority That Treats You Like An Option !

Answer 5

I would not want to be in a marriage like that. I get upset when my husband stays at work for an extra hour or two... I am ALL about giving people chances and trying to work through things, but eventually we all get to a point when we have to call it quits or we lose our mind. I think you should make it clear how seriously you need there to be a change, and if he can't or won't work on things, than yes, you are right, there might not be a point in your marriage. Plus, do you want to have kids? If you do, do you want them to have a father they never see?

Answer 6

Sometimes men do this because they think that they are a better provider, the more $$, the better. Sometimes they do this to run. Men aren't good at figuring these kind of things out, or take hints well. You need to have him sit down with you and you need to talk. Set some rules...no interruptions, let one finish before the other starts. It may come down to seeking counseling, which I would recommend. I will pray that your marriage will be restored so it is a joy to both of you.

†Prayer Warrior At Your Request†

Answer 7

If you'd been smart, these issues would have been settled before you got married, not after, but better late than never.

Ask him this question, "What do you he get out of being married to me?" Then shut up and listen. When he gets to the end, give him a few minutes to ask you the same question. If he doesn't, ask yourself out loud and make him stay to hear your answer.

One or both of you will be changed by this experience. Divorce may be the answer, but you need to ask some other questions first.

Answer 8

Sounds like something is wrong in this relationship. You two need to talk before you end up alone. Maybe he doesn't know how to talk to you or deal with things at home. Have you tried talking about this with him? If so, what did he say? You have to listen not only with your ears, but with your heart when he answers you...You may not want to hear the answer, but in the long run, it will be better if you do.
I hope things work out for you.

Answer 9

Honey I know what you are going through. my husband is on the road a lot. But when he is home he wants me with him I take my marriage vows very seriously. Some time he gets on my last nerve, but I don't know what I would do without the big lug. I will pray for you and your marriage. There is nothing to large that the Lord can't handle. I pray that he will see that he needs to have more time with you, and less time at work God hears all prayers. Please pray for your marriage to work. I know the Lord wants what is best for the two of you. God Bless.

Answer 10

Are you sure he is going to work? I do not think so. He may be seeing someone else therefore he does not want to go around together with you. He just wants to avoid you just to see that Jill. Try and investigate on his whereabouts during those times he goes such as his leave days. I hope and pray you find out what is keeping him from spending time with you.