Okay, I have been with a girl for about three weeks and last night I wanted her to sing for me on the phone (she used to sing). She refused and said she didn't sing for people anymore. I tried joking around with her and teasing her and saying she better sing for me but she didn't. Plus she got her hair cut and she knows I want her to grow it long. This really ticked me off. I don't want to threaten her because we haven't been going out long enough for her to establish an emotional bond with me so I think if I did she would leave me. How can I get her to do what I want her to do? Serious answers please.
2007-12-18 08:52:50 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Um are u serious? How? Well if it's a b*tch u want I hear German Shepards listen well. Get real dude, it's her hair, her life ain't gonna happen! U don't date someone to control them.
2007-12-18 08:58:07 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Pure Evil♥ 6 · 8⤊ 1⤋
You can't get her to do what you want her to do. She is an independent person with her own thoughts. How she cuts her hair is her choice until she decides you should have a say in it. It is very concerning that you said you didn't want to "threaten her" because you haven't been going out long enough to establish an emotional bond. It sounds like you have a problem being controlling. People do things for their signif. others because that SO is caring and worthy of respect and she wants to nurture that. Not because she is threatened. Get counseling. You need to get a grip on this because you think like an abuser.
2007-12-18 17:00:32 · answer #2 · answered by momminator 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
'How can I get her to do what I want her to do?
'...saying she BETTER sing for me..' - yeah, I know, you said it was a joke.
In all Seriousness, you have been dating for about 3 weeks, and assuming you see each other about 2-3 times/week, you two are still getting used to each other.
But as a woman, I see your listed actions as creepy. Dating less than a month, and you already are telling her to sing for you, to not cut her hair, to find out what you need to do to control her.
Please calm down and ease up on the control issues or you will definitely scare her away or break her spirit. You need to start by listening to her. If she says she doesn't sing for ANYONE, that includes you, too.
2007-12-18 16:59:36 · answer #3 · answered by bethanne 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
You've been dating for 3 weeks. She can do any thing she pleases. Cut her hair, not sing, move to Tibet and be a monk and you have no right to say anything about it. Who in the heck do you think you are!
"How can I get her to do what I want her to do?" You don't want to threaten her? Sounds like a prelude to abuse to me.
You need to crawl back under your rock before she realizes what a creep you really are & calls the cops!
EDIT: What really scares me is that you actually thought that people here would agree with you!
2007-12-18 17:00:17 · answer #4 · answered by On My Own 316 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
If you've only been dating for 3 weeks, she probably doesn't understand that what she's doing is bothering you so much. I think you should respect her decision to not sing anymore. It obviously makes her uncomfortable. Maybe once you guys have dated longer, she might open up and sing for you, but don't pressure her. Also, she probably didn't cut her hair to make you mad or anything. Maybe she doesn't like long hair. It's her hair, she should be able to keep it however she wants. Although you could mention to her that you think she looks better with long hair and maybe she'll think about growing it out.
2007-12-18 17:08:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hey well girls don't like when guys tell us what to do. You shouldn't try to control her! I mean let her do what she wants. And she might not have cut her hair just to tick you off she might like it short or wanted something different! And hey if she used to sing i mean she USED to! You don't know the reason behind it for her to stop singing. She could have stopped for a serious reason! Well hope i helped bye Cherry
2007-12-18 16:59:05 · answer #6 · answered by Cherry 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
wow! How many red flags do you other posters see??? You're not by chance "controlling", are you??? Geez... I was with a controlling man for fourteen years.... the WORST fourteen years of my (young) life I might add.. wasted years...
You can NOT control another human being... it's not your "right" to do so and not your "place" to do so... furthermore, why would you want to may I ask?????
This relationship will not go far my dear... I hope....
It's not up to you what she does with or to her hair and trying to force her to sing??? What is she some kind of parrot or something??? Do you give her a treat when she does what you demand????
Please get a life and quit trying to control others.... good luck to you...
2007-12-18 17:03:50 · answer #7 · answered by Mercedes 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You have control issues and sound pretty selfish. If she doesn't want to sing for you, she doesn't have to, and it's HER hair to do with what she pleases.
As far as not wanting to threaten her this soon into the relationship because she might leave... WTF is that all about? You planning to wait a while and then threaten her?
I hope she dumps you, for her sake.
Grow up.
2007-12-18 20:13:10 · answer #8 · answered by Flock of Seagulls Haircut 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I bet she's wondering how she can get you to do what she wants YOU to do.
It may be that since you've already told her you want her to grow her hair long and sing to you on command after only 3 weeks of dating, she's doing what comes naturally to anyone who is being "told" what to do... she's backing off from you.
The more you come at people, the more they back up. It's time for YOU to back up the truck and rethink your own actions. Your job as a potential figure in her life is to let her be herself, not try to change her right away or push her "backup buttons".
Good luck.
2007-12-18 17:08:34 · answer #9 · answered by Barbi T 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You can't get her to "do what you want her to do." That is not a relationship. And even if you had an emotional bond, you should not threaten her. It's disgusting that you think this way.
2007-12-18 17:01:40 · answer #10 · answered by Jess 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
ummm, if you have only been with this girl for only 3 weeks, get over it, and by the way, even if you've been with her for years and years, if a girl wants to cut her hair, she's gonna cut her hair! i have to say i hate it when men say "don't cut your hair" "i like it long"...and if she doesn't want to sing? so what?
2007-12-18 17:01:24 · answer #11 · answered by loriloriloriloriv 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋