I see this more and more. The wives neglect there husbands and want no part of them but, the son who is married they keep running over there looking to cook and do things that the wife should be doing. I see this often. My friends wifes won't make there husbands a cup of tea but the son who no longer lives at home she is making a full blown meal because "his wife can't cook".. What is it with some of you ladies?
2007-12-18 08:51:24 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Alwyn C:
There is no need for you to be this rude.
I never said that the daughter in law was lazy. Also I never expected my wife to be my slave that is not why I got married You missed the point. He is a grown married man and his mother should not be over all the time and ignoring her husband. She is makeing her daughter in laws life difficult for no reason. Treat a son like a son and your husband like your husband.
Then woman like you wonder why there are so many complaints from these young girls today.
2007-12-19 01:17:17 · update #1
its because to them their son is the perfect man...
2007-12-18 08:54:06 · answer #1 · answered by ..... 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I suppose if the wife was looking after her husband, the way his mother did, then perhaps there would be no need for the mother in law to be doing what she is doing, would there. The son might have made some complaint about not getting a good home cooked meal, so mummy has come running to save the day. If she keeps annoying you by doing this, try moving far enough away so that she wouldn't be able to do it.
2007-12-18 10:35:33 · answer #2 · answered by Alwyn C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm, it seems as if what you asked and what you wrote in the description is kind of different.....u ask why some mothers treat their son's as if they were THEIR husbands......well, let me tell you the reason. this train of thought has been really prevalent in the previous generation..not so much today because theres pretty no much difference in what a son and a daughter can offer their parents...its just that the daughter offers more of an emotional level of assurance and maturity...
.....while the son is expected to fulfill the husband role from the mother because the husbands are not perhaps good enough to their wives in terms of emotional love, availability, and understanding...and possibly financial security! but women need more than just MONEY. u dont know how many women out there are reallllllly lonely inside, even though they have husbands. ;-)
yet i do know a lot of mothers who now rely on their daughters to be their hope of financial and emotional security......sons these days seem pretty much hopeless! LOL.
it is pretty provincial-minded to think that its solely a woman's job to do the household chores. when i examine the most successful families, the husband and the wife work together on household chores, even if the wife stays at home. the husband doesnt demand that the wife act like a house slave and do everything for herself, doing everything for him. its about partnership and understanding. if the wife becomes sick, it should be more of the husband's job, instead of the children's job, to be there to comfort her and touch her and and do the chores for her and offer her words of reassurance and security.
*but like a good child should, you should always be there to help your mother no matter what. IF YOU LOVE YOUR MOM, DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN FOR HER WHILE SHE IS STILL ALIVE. Who do you think raised you and made u born? I mean, you'll be helping your wife with chores in the future, right? So why not help your mom???? ;-)
think love as something more of a giving situation...and trust me, you will be returned the favor.
2007-12-18 09:03:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Agreed. It's a lack of boundaries. Some moms fail to recognize that their kids are adult, married, and it's not their place to cook for and clean their adult sons.
It's really hard to be a new wife when you are trying to establish your own home, traditions and ways if your mother in law won't butt out and insist on doing things 'her way' or won't trust you.
Another reason I think it's this way is because times have changed. Men and women are on more of an equal plane than they were during our parents' generation. Most women in my generation are not ironing their husband's shirts and having dinner on the table for them when they get home. Why? Because we women are working all day, too! It's impossible to be in two places at once. So I do half the housework and cooking, hubby does the other half.
But MIL doesn't understand. After all, she was ironing shirts and cooking dinner every night. But she doesn't realize that that was her job - mom and housewife. That's not my job. My job is attorney, not housewife.
2007-12-18 08:59:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its because they are their babies. A son and mother have such a close bond nothing can come between it, some times also the mothers disapprove of the wives and think no one is good enough for their son. Its all out of love though, I lost my mother when I was little so i would love for my husbands mother to come over and cook and take care of my husband! Its what moms are for!
2007-12-18 08:54:13 · answer #5 · answered by Susan F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A mother will always love her son. That is her baby. She is the only one that can give him the very first unconditional love that boys look for, and as a man they will never forget. Mother and son have such a special bond that no one can replace. Sort of like love at first site, but this is a forever lasting love.
2007-12-18 09:03:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have seen this, for sure - these women do not set proper boundaries between themselves and their sons, and are often trying to compensate for a missing husband, or a husband they are not happy and actively involved with - because if they had their own life, and were living it, they would neither have the time nor the inclination to do that! It is creepy, because it is almost like they are trying to "date" their sons, and they get all flirty with them. Ugh! Clearly ppl who do this are not normal.
2007-12-18 08:56:06 · answer #7 · answered by eldots53 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It slays me when 1 person is to blame
he sounds like a helpless momma's boy, why can't he cook?
being a wife doesn't make you a servant, it makes you a partner
it takes 2 to make or break a relationship, it should be a partnership
2007-12-18 08:55:53 · answer #8 · answered by ann s 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
many mothers avoid husbands in day to day affairs and find excuses to help others in the family. i have seen one mother who has kept his like a slave up to 50 years who was attending all her needs and he was even prevented from getting married.
The families are very imbalance these days and many couple are very unstable situation these are all side effect of materialistic world.
2007-12-18 09:02:43 · answer #9 · answered by mile_34 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They can't let go of their baby boy. One of my pet peeves are women who raise boys like this, and then complain about having husbands who do nothing. They were trained that way, just like your sons!!!!!
2007-12-18 08:55:26 · answer #10 · answered by Johanna 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
not sure but my husband Terrance, his mom expect him to do everything for her and her kids i'm so tired of her. It is not my fault that his momma got 3 different baby daddy's and not one of hem want to be with her
2007-12-18 08:57:35 · answer #11 · answered by LivingMyLife 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋