Do you view polyamory (many loves) as something entirely different from swinging, the same, or as two separate lifestyles but also something that can both be done by the same people?
2007-12-18 08:18:44 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
They are similar but definately different. In the same way that having a one night stand and looking for a life partner are both forms of dating, Swinging and Polyamory are both forms of open relationships. To continue to carry the comparison further, there is also a lot of middle ground and/or grey area between the two.
In broad simple generalizations Swinging is primarily about the physical and Polyamory is primarily about the emotional. The grey area in the middle comes when you have Swingers who develop deep emotional relationships with people they swing with and these relationships grow to mean more than the sex does. From the other side the grey area could be a Poly couple (or group) that meets another person or people and ends up in a situation where the sex starts to become more important than the relationships (again back to the earlier comparison, it's just like a one night stand or "sex buddies" that grows into something "more" or that ex you no longer love "in that way" but still visit for the damn good sex).
The two words have also developed certain connotations that I think are outside their definitions due to different communities that have developed around the different words. The Poly community has developed a reputation for being more "new-age spiritual hippies" with both the good and the bad baggage which that entails, whereas the Swinging community has the reputation for being more "jaded superficial thrillseekers". These images are often held most strongly by those who would identify themselves as the other.
To address the second part of your question, yes they can both be done by the same people. Just as an individual can have different types of sexual relationships when single, a couple or group can also do the same with others.
I think one of the best things in a strong open relationship is that communication and negotiation exist between those involved so that each can find the set of choices that fits their own and their partners' happiness the best.
2007-12-18 09:50:55 · answer #1 · answered by dbr_story 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
It's entirely different. Polyamory is being in love with more than one person. Possibly creating an extended family of adults.
Swinging is sharing your body, but not your heart.
2007-12-18 11:22:48 · answer #2 · answered by gromit801 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my understanding, polyamory referrs more to forming long-term bonds with multiple persons, whereas swinging is more of a recreational past-time with "no strings attached". I'm sure polys can also be swingers, but I bet it's pretty rare. To me, these seem like two separate things.
2007-12-18 08:25:12 · answer #3 · answered by Sandy Ego 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I cannot wrap my head around polyamory. I don't see how you can dedicate yourself to multiple people - you will have to ignore some at times and pay attention to others.
The couples my husband and I play with are friends of ours, but we are totally dedicated with each other. If anyone gets a sense that a connection beyond friendship is developing, we end that "friendship".
2007-12-18 08:23:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You can do whatever you want...
... as long as you are able to find a willing partner(s).
Merry Christmas, and good luck with that.
2007-12-18 08:22:30 · answer #5 · answered by box of rain 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no clue
2007-12-18 08:21:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
bad thing to do!!!
2007-12-18 08:54:31 · answer #7 · answered by john d 3 · 0⤊ 4⤋
Polyamory Defined
Well, according to Merriam Webster - wedon't have a definition, at least not online.
However, if we look at the word, it breaks down into two parts.
Poly, is Greek, meaning many parts,
and
Amory is derived from French Amour, meaning love.
So basically - Many Loves, or perhaps in some cases Many Lovers.
For everyone who has taken the time to put in your 2 cents towards a better definition - thanks!
Jon.(naturat)
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to love without fear - submitted by yihud.
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To have the freedom to love more thanone person equally. - submitted by Tayness.
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Responsible non-monogamy. Ethical sluthood.Multi-partner relationships (be they sex among friends, group marriage,or anything in between) in which all parties are consenting. - submittedby Apparattus Norvegicus.
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Being able to love more than one person,and have all loves be equally valid. - submitted by Kitanzi.
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Polyamory is the beautiful union of ashared karma
Enhanced by freedom and a love of Nature,Earth and Universe........ - submitted by Futureman.
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Our ability to share love among many humanbeings. - submitted by Lover.
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is love experienced and shared by all.........- submitted by Corsican
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Life is mine and I have it all..
I'm free to decide and so clever :) -submitted by Satriani
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Polyamory is the simple idea that loveingone person doesn't stop you from loveing another person. Love is love,sex is sex and sometimes the two meet. I choose to love everyone I lovewith my whole heart.
The more the merrier. - submitted byWalter
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There is a saying, "If you love someome,let them go. If they do not come back they were never yours. If they docome back, you will always be together." This is the third option, notonly did they come back, but they are willing to share you with othersin body, mind and spirit so they can see how wonderful you are.
Polyamoury, to me, is giving your partnerthe freedom to explore without fear or jelousy, knowing that they stilllove you. - submitted by Susano
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love is life life is short... - submittedby zdenko
The more you love, the more you CAN love,and the more intensely you love. And there is no limit to how MANY youcan love. RAH (and he's right) polyamory is loving with all your heartthe ones you love, without jealousy or fear - submitted by Mooncrow
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is accepting the challenge of redefininglove in a personal way that acknowledges love and intimacy need not haveprescribed limits; that no one person should bear the burden of tryingto meet ALL the needs of another; that jealousy is the most corrosive anddestructive emotion; and that the more love and intimacy are experiencedand exchanged, the stronger, deeper, and more abundant they become. Itis love without possessiveness or fear. It is not simple, or easy, or tame;but it is enormously fulfilling, and precious beyond imagining. - submittedby Wunderkind
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Love is knowing that someone would doanything for you and that you would do the same for them. - submitted byBarney
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Polyamory means mature recognition thataffection and/or sexual attraction does not equate with some arbitraryand immediate ownership over another ... it is recognizing that NO bondcan unite the divided but love, and that all else is accursed. Polyamoryis heeding the clarion call of the stars to come forth beneath their splendorousbeauty and take your fill and will of love when, where and with whom yewill -- as an eternal sacrament unto the Divine Spirit. Food for thought:maybe when Christ said that in the resurrection they would not marry butwould be as the angels, He did not mean abstinence from sharing physicalpleasure. Perhaps He meant that souls would be purified of the dross ofjealousy and selfish grasping sufficiently to be able to share themselvesfreely without any such petty interferences. So many of the world's illscome from enforced notions of monogamy as a moral ideal. Mutual consentmonogamy in free will is just as beautiful as polyamory ... but this travestyof programming people to justify the most base of emotions and manipulationsin the name of supposed "morality" is a despicable farce. The time hascome to stand up and end the misery. - submitted by Shedona~Babalon
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Polyamory is Love based on unconditionalacceptance of you partner(s). Polyamory is possible if you love your partnerto such a degree that you feel happy if he can explore and develop hispersonality to an extend that covers relationships with other people -without a feeling of fear or loss. - submitted by BiPhi
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Polyamory is loving : radical loving,unconditional loving, unrestricted loving, loving without boundaries --"Loving Unlimited" For the way the "Tantric PolyPioneers" describe andmodel it, see http://members.tripod.com/~Ayran1/PolyAluna.html - submittedby Ayran
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Multiple Love Partners, is analogis tomultiple children. Parents do not love the second child LESS, but DIFERENTLY.Thus a "sharing" of love between multiple partners is not like "swinging"but more like an "extended family" of adults. I, personally, find thatit defeats the social problem of the marriage & divorce cycle and formsa more long lasting and flexible relationship for ALL partners. - submittedby polymale
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Polyamory: simply put is the ability tolove more than one person at a time and to love no matter of race creedor sexual orientation . - submitted by Jade
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I really feel that if wr raised our childrenthat love comes in many different forms and not to feel confines by thefeelings of love, that the world would be free of all the divorce lawyers...marriagecounsellors...jails that are built to hold men and women that are psychopathsbecause of the way they were raised, under the pretext that u can onlylove one person and when u give that love to someone they now become apossesion not a gift that could be shared with many people where love isshared freely... - submitted by jewelz
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polyamory is what you make of it it hasthe ability to be everything that you could ever wish for and then againit could be your worst nightmare. It just depends on you own level of acceptance.For me it is a way of life that i would never give up as it allows me thefreedom to share my true self with qualified individuals on a one to onebasis. Try it with the right people and you'll never want to go back toany other lifestyle. ;]~ - submitted by Don
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Like the roots of a flower they must spreadout in order for that flower to fully blossom. - submitted by iceberg
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Sex is physical. Love is emotional. Youcan have sex without love, just as you can love without sex. You can lovemore than 1 person. No emotional commitments expected or requiered beyondregular friendship, but apppreciated and respected when they are afforded.This marraige of TRUST and COMMUNICATION allows one the discretion of truelyloving without feeling that they have to be "In Love" to be morally ableto express HONESTLY what they truely feel, sexually or emtionally. Whenyou focus all this in one person, then you cross the plane to where youAre "In Love" at which timeyou may commit to a monogomous relationship.As long as you have the TRUST and the COMMUNICATION as the foundation,then you are free to build on this as does your friendship.Just respectothers and BE SAFE in ALL that you do. Respect their beliefs as you wouldwant them to respect yours. - submitted by NCPirate
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A love shared by many people in one relationship- submitted by Nic
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polyamory: the ability to know in yourheart that the human soul loves, and to not suppress that. knowing thatyour heart can and usualy does love more than one person. if people wouldstop sneaking around and just be with those they love whomever THEY mightbe in fidelity would be a thing of the past. we are human we can love solets. adam had many wives. - submitted by eddie
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as long as we can love why dont we? ifmy relation doesnt bother you then why r u bothering me? - submitted byeddie
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As the wind touches every person withoutquestion, so does our love encompass all. Love yourself first and you areopen to love the universe. - submitted by onesong
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I feel that one being Poly just meansthat love can be shared with many people. I feel love was ment to be sharedand that by sharing your love you spread good will towards all. - submittedby Polyroses
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Polyamory is breaking the chains of jelousyand selfishness. It is to be as a child, who is without fear or boundriesthat restrain us from knowing one another intimately. Polyamory is notabout sex, it is about affection. - submitted by Pat
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in spirit we are all part of the energy pool, in flesh we are seaperated by this world of matter, spirit remembers the intimacy, and longs for the relationship, get on board the "ship" and continue the relation. "The kingdom of heaven is within" lets us celebrate and rejoice in the spirit of heaven by recognizine the almighty in all of us. Blessed BE. - submitted by mevysen
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the unconditional gift of yourself to those you share love with - submitted by SummerDell
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The philosophy and practice of loving more than one other person at a time, also sometimes called responsible, ethical, or intentional non-monogamy.- submitted by Moonstorm
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Love is when another person's happiness is essential to your own. Some times a third person is essential to that person's happiness.
It is responsible adults who work hard to make and run a family. - submitted by rea
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Polymamory is breaking the sadistic human rules and discovering the barbarian instincts of carnal pleasures. To love anything that moves if you so desire.
I agree..and u seem too. So, let's just do it. Don't give a damn to the whole universe - submitted by neel
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love is love, there are no boundries and no maximum number of people,animals,nature,worlds. can confine it.
the bible say's "love one another", it didn't say "love just one" - submitted by fire1
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sex is just sex, polyamory is, loving friends completely
sharing your life with wonderful friends - submitted by kat
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mother nature has her way of balancing things in her world.that world in which humans are at the top of the world.never the less her world.when done properly you meet people who were meant to walk god`s journey together striving to ascend back to him.sometimes you are assigned more than one person to walk thru life with.some you have types of relationships with.in all good cases the people show a godly version of love towards each other - submitted by khemetian
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It's about accepting that you are a deviant, a warped individual and a pervert from the one you thought you loved and still knowing it's time to be honest with yourself and knowing you will get where you want to be. - submitted by jack
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I suppose the simplest way to define it is loving more than one person of any gender. But that's soooo limiting in my view. If you only want to share sex with me fine. If only mental stimulation fine. You shouldn't define how and what you consider love. - submitted by purple
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Polyamory is giving and receiving freedom from sexual bondage which is what nature has divined erotics to be.A person has endless curiosity regardig erotic behaviour of other males and female and though he may have some way gathering titbit of information but unless he transcends the limit of sexual bondage and explores diversity with intimacy and emotions the depth of erotic responses of persons of different age group race and class he/she remains obscure to himself and plyamory is the erotic art of discovering total inner sexual identity by relating to total erotic diversity.
Apaka
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I so take great joy in every particle of my being to have connected if just through reading and taking in the energy of love and understanding of all the commentors. Sometimes, the child within longs for connection as it seems that within my personal earth, so much of how I live and what I do is give out. Knowing there are like minded seeking/finding/evolving souls blesses me beyond measure and gives me such comfort. Onward and upward to All !!! - Joygirl
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In the principle the souls floated and they were crossed on the chaos impregnated of the knowledge, this was one with they.. When humans acquire conscience and therefore its body, they being remained confined in the limit of its own material body.. Incapable to attend and find full with the other craiturs and with the ALL (God), humans being alone the formula of the love it remains it, that is the infinite force with the soul clamors and demands its original state, to be united at all divine.. The love and the practice of him, is therefore the way in which our interior criature - or soul - finally reaches to graze the extasis of the absolute happiness... RETURN TO ALL AGAIN...
Free true love... - Rey
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MY favorite definition, from the "Loving More" website: Polyamory (many loves) is a relatively new word created for relationships where an adult intimately loves more than one other adult. This includes forms like open couples, group marriage, intimate networks, triads and even people who currently have one or no partners, yet are open to the possibility of more. It is another word for nonmonogamy.
loving without expectation, surrendering to the grand adventure of living freely! - milkmom
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The over whelming desire between two people to be conected emotionaly or spiritualy yet the physical needs to physically communicate with another being is supported and encouraged be each other keeping a rare example of the ultimate alive and well.
Loving someone so completely that the physical needs each have is so insugnificant that retiring to another room after dinner with friends has no more impact than sitting down to a game of cards. - Mike
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Love is a many-partnered thing.
Some of us have more love to give than any one person could handle. - DrMatt
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Polyamory is a return to the original condition of humankind when we loved freely and openly with many partners. - The Dirt
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Also, here are a few FAQ's for you to check out if you're still in question as to what thisis all about:
http://www.polyamory.org/
2007-12-18 08:25:26 · answer #8 · answered by carriegreen13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋