Is this excessively cruel of her?

Question

Basically, a girl knows VERY well I like her.
A long time ago, she put me on the "list" of guys that like her.
It was frustrating to be on a list but not be the one...and I kept pursuing her...she's good at making me run, but on the few occasions that I gave up, she always ended up coming to me.

Recently, I sarcastically asked her "so, whatever happened to that list?"
She said "I got rid of it." in a matter of fact voice. Then, said "except for one guy."
I said "who?"
She said "you."

A little later I asked her out...and she said she won't go out with me...her excuse was that she wasn't allowed to because I'm not catholic, and her parents are super-catholics.

If this is true,why tell me I'm the only one??
Please be honest. Did I get played?
How do I treat her now??

I've been aloof, but she's been trying to contact me/dropping comments about how I'm being weird or mean.
I'm being sarcastic and brief, but not actually rude.
WHAT do I do???????

HAHAHAhA good one Toad.

Hell no I'm not gonna convert to a different religion cuz of some girl. You've got to be kidding me.

That's odd we have a rude crowd tonight.

Actually, to the person insulting my intelligence, I will be attending Duke University this fall as a freshmen (undergrad).

If you want to compare academic achievements, I would be glad to.

Please do not go around insulting people on the internet, it is not very nice.

Answer 1

Some girls like attention and will tell various guys she likes them just to keep them around. When in fact, maybe she doesn't like any of them but is afraid they won't be her friend if she tells them otherwise.

I would move on from her. Games are games, and you don't need that!

You seem like a very nice guy! Let her know that you did at one point like her, but now you would like to just stay friends. She may get jealous if you start seeing someone else. Which in turn, she may start dating you. Regardless, she is playing games, and you don't deserve it.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Well the first thing you shoudl do is post this on a different forum, pregnancy and parenting don't really fit this question, but since you seem so heart felt I'll throw my two cents in. yes you got played, you got played by a girl who depends on your friendship, but sees you as nothing more than a friend. She knows that every time she hints at something more, you will stick around longer and be more devoted. My advice, spell it out to her just like you did here. If she cares about you at all in the way you want her to she will see the error of her ways, and that you are not a cool toy to play with, and go out with you. if she goes into attack mode and starts acusing you of only hanging out with her in the hope of "getting something", then you have your answer, she is a player and you are her toy. I was raised catholic, and know several catholics, and that is not something to hold you guys up from dating. My friends just got married and he wasn't catholic but he went through the pre-marital counciling and everything so they could be married in a catholic church. The Catholic relegion is not the problem here, she is. Spell it out for her and tell her how she has been, making you feel like a toy...you will get your answer one way or another.

Answer 3

Well you're both young. Stop being in such a rush to "get involved" with a girl. What are your intentions? Are you getting married or something?

Make sure if you do things with her, do it with family and with people that you both trust. Don't try to get off alone with her because you know what happens when teens get off alone, or anyone for that matter...fornication and unwanted babies.

Do you, do school, get your education and worry about "girls" when you're ready to settle down and marry. A good elder from a good congregation will tell you that "true Christians" only date when they want to get married, and they do things God's way and not the way of the world. Just look at how dirty and immoral the world is right now. I mean with aids, herpes, gonnerhea, chlamydia, genital warts, and many other sexually transmitted diseases that can be transmitted by the mouth or eating after someone.

Also, just because she's Catholic doesn't mean they are holier than though. I have known many men who are of false religions like Catholic and they were the most ungodly. They always wanted to "come over" to my place alone, or wanted me to come to their place alone. When I asked why, they said so we can have some drinks and talk. Why did they want to ply me with alcohol when we were not married or even looking to be married.

Worry about school and education. You know what? Girls will always be there. Get you educated and stable, so that when you do fall in love, it will be right with God and you'll be a good provider to your wife and family. You guys are both young and are playing games. Do things God's way and stop looking to your own immature self for answers.

I would never convert to a religion that worships idols, and has all sorts of traditions and ceremonies that have nothing to do with God's will for mankind, but have everything to do with "keeping an appearance of godliness, but nothing proving of God's will or standards". Beware...Catholicism is popular, but not serving God according to his truthful standards.

Answer 4

your getting played man... shes probbally got a guy other than you to start with that you just don't know about... but at the same time wants to keep you around...she may like you ...or it could all just end up being a game and just enjoys the extra attention from you (perhaps she doesn't get from who ever else)...don't fall for it move on trust me specailly if you like her now it will only get worse and break your heart more... when i got played it was so hard and just broke my heart more... let her know how you feel and honestly ask her if you'll ever be anything more than friends... though you may not wanna here her answer in the end you need to and it better sooner than later... when you have more hope of something happening...i was in a situation kinda like yours cept im the girl... and the guy had a girlfriend that he "forgot" to tell me about for over 8 months... he led me on hard core saying that he didnt wanna label are relationship and that one day he would just not yet because he had just gotten out of a relationship... a year and a half later i found out that we would never be anything... becuase he was out of his relationship... and asked a different girl instead of me after all that... it was hard to get over him even though he had treated me so baddly ... good luck

Answer 5

Sounds like playing to me, based on your story.

I know it might be hard to do, but there really are a ton of good people out there. Just write her off and find another who will not give you the run around.

You might find her even more interested if you find someone else, but do not let that stray you. She treated you like this once and no matter what you think has changed, she will probably do it again.

It is not worth your time or energy to keep trying to force something she will not let happen.

Answer 6

Honestly, since you are going to Duke, it would probably be best to start liking girls there and dating them. Forget about the little game this girl has going. She may have told the other guys the same thing about the list.

Answer 7

well she is being totally unfair because my parents are super catholic and im a pretty serious catholic aswell and thats not a problem ... i think that she is trying to make up an excuse and its very unfair and nasty of her to use her religion as an excuse...
look from what you have written i can deduce that she is probably a flirt and making lists is pretty inmature...
if i were you I would NOT change religion because of that silly girl and just tell her that she cannot try to change people...

Answer 8

Why is this in pregnancy and parenting? As for an answer, just read your question a couple more times and really take in what you are saying...no it is not cruel, but you sure are dumb. She just has you hanging on the side there, just waiting for her while she does her thing. But she always knows that there is a back up available and that back up is you.

Answer 9

I think she's either not very nice and just teasing you or she's interested in you but torn by her parents attitudes towards dating. Perhaps you could talk to her and explain how you feel or ask her straight out what she wants to do. You need to clear the air and get this sorted out or it will be hanging over you (and her) for a very long time. Good luck

Answer 10

Move on to someone else, she just wants you to chase her. From your answer, she only is interested in you when you are not chasing after her. She is not worth it, move on and find someone else who will actually allow you to "catch" them and be ahppy about it! Good Luck!