I'm depressed Im having a girl.?

Question

I'm 27 week and yesterday I found out Im having a girl.. I feel soooo bad for feeling the way I do.
I just always pictured my first baby a boy and actually all of them boys.
Has anyone else gone through this?.. I feel like such a bad person.

Will I still love my baby once shes out?

Jesus, most of you women are mean.. Im asking if it's normal to be disappointed and a little depressed that Im having a girl.. NEVER CLAIMED TO BE UNGRATEFUL.

Answer 1

Yes of course others have gone through this. You're not alone and I know exactly how you feel. In fact, I'm your opposite. I always pictured my first being a girl, and never really even imagined myself with boys at all. I even tried all the at home methods to tip the scales in my favor of having a girl, and picked out her name years ago. I even bought her clothes and put them together in what I call the "Katie box." Well, I just found out Monday that I'm having a boy.

I know how shattered your dreams are, and I know how bad and guilty you feel about feeling this way. You're not a bad mom. People like us idealize, long for, and dream about in our minds and hearts all our adult lives what our families will be like. Everyone always told me I was going to be a "girl mommy" and I liked that. It just takes time to readjust your thinking and get used to the idea of something different than you hoped for. It's a little like a grieving process over the death of someone you thought was there, but wasn't . I don't wish that we could swap babies, but I wish we could swap our emotions. I was longing to hear "girl" and I went a little numb when the sonogram lady said "boy."

However, I comfort myself knowing that I will have another child, and my dream is not lost forever. Maybe you should consider Microsort, as I am, for the next one to avoid the possibilty of depression in the future. Don't let go of your dream, I'm certainly not. The Katie box is staying right where it is. In the meantime, get to know your unborn baby. Give her a name and use it frequently, buy her some clothes as I have just done for my baby boy, and try to focus on getting used to the thought of the new, sweet person who is coming into your life and is eager to meet you, oblivious to what you are feeling. Don't feel bad if you see something that sets you off and you cry, I hear that's healthy for a little while.

I hope this helps. I just talked to someone yesterday whose DIL is also going through the same thing. So you're not alone or a bad person. You will love her when you see her, people keep telling me that. Don't listen to the people who don't understand. Buy your daughter a pink outfit for me, and look forward to brighter days in the future. [e-mail]

Answer 2

I guess some women do feel disappointed when they don't get what they want. I really wanted a girl and she is definately a girl. If it was a boy I would have been a little disappointed but I would love him just the same. You will come to terms with it and give your baby lots of love and care that he needs.

Answer 3

So you had your heart set on a boy! Your soo lucky to be pregnant in the first place, Lot's of people who can't have kids would love to be in your shoes right now... Lot's of people feel this way for sure, but when you have that little baby in your arms you really won't care whether it's a boy or a girl so long as she is healthy and perfect that's all you should be thinking of... You will love your daughter more than anything when she is born, trust me! Motherhood is a wonderful thing, words could not describe!... Congratulations and no you are Not a bad person at all!...

Edit - Yes of course it is Normal! I hope I didn't sound mean to you...My 1st was a girl (the 1 in the pic) then I had a boy for my 2nd, then came my 3rd and I got a scan & it was another boy!! Then I fell pregnant again! This time I really would have loved a girl soo much...after having 2 boys in a row..couldn't stand the waiting so I got a scan & behold it was another boy! Yes I was dissapointed! I would of really loved a little girl! But when he was born I fell head over heels in love with him!..and so will you with your baby!..

Answer 4

Hey, dont listen to those *******. I will be so depressed if I end up having a boy first. I really want a girl soo bad. All I think about is like decorating her room in mermaids, and naming her after my mom, and all the cute clothes, and dresses to do her up in, and playing with her hair as she gets older, and teaching her things and her being all girly girly. If I have a boy we can trade. lol I'm just trying to be silly to cheer you up. You're not the only one that has put more emphasis on a preference of sex than the average person. I'd love to have all girls. I'm sure you'll love her once she's at, and I'm sure she'll be the highlight of your life too, and when you have your next child, if it's a boy, I'm sure you won't play favoritism.
They'll both, or all, have you're heart.

Answer 5

Don't worry about it. Women go through crazy feeling during pregnancy. If they are severe feelings, like you cry a lot about it, I would talk to a professional because it may be the beginning of depression (which is a chemical imbalance and has nothing to do with being a bad person) which could then turn into post partum depression. It is a very serious condition that many pregnant moms go through. Just talk to someone and see what they think. Good Luck! My guess is that as soon as you see your little girl, your heart will melt.

Answer 6

I totally relate. I'm 22 weeks with #2 and was hoping for another girl so my daughter would have a sister. At 19 weeks, we found out it was a boy. I thought I would be fine but I cried a lot. I thought I was silly (even a little stupid) for being so emotional but my husband was great and said he would be crying if it was another girl. He wanted a boy with our first but loves our daughter and is now glad we had a girl first. I got over the depression of not having a girl after a few days and now I can't wait to see my baby boy. Give yourself a few days to adjust and start planning for your new daughter. You are not a bad person and this is normal. You'll love your daughter so much. I started buying some boy clothes and getting ideas for decorating his room and we're about 90% sure on his name so now I'm looking forward to having a son.
Edit: I'm sorry there are so many mean women here. They obviously can't relate. You just found out yesterday and you need to vent and find support. I hope I helped you a little bit.

Answer 7

I have a teen boy and a teen girl. My boy has been tough to raise. He's just a different kid...a good kid, but tough. When I found out I was pregnant again I wanted another girl SSSOOOO badly. He's a boy. I was really sad about it when I first found out. I knew I'd love him, I just knew the girl was less challenging the first time (and the clothes and toys are WAY more fun). He's been the apple of my eye since the day him was born. I love him just like I knew I would...and you will too. You're not a bad person. Healthy is most important...and enjoy the toys and clothes!

Answer 8

I agree with you big time... I had this problem growing up I was kida a tomboy and when I found out with my first pregnancy at 18 that it was a girl I cried! Then when I was 24 I was pregnant again and it was yet another girl and I cried again. I am 28 now and pregnant with my first boy FINALLY!!!! But I honestly am kinda confused on what to do now my girls are my world so.... Yes you will be happy when you are holding your beautiful little lady in your arms and all these mean ppl you need to ignore!!!!
Good Luck!!

Answer 9

Maybe I missed something here...

At what point did you say that you were so disappointed, you were going to throw yourself off the nearest bridge? You didn't.

Please do not worry - what you are feeling is normal! If you had your hopes set on one gender, and you find out another, you simply move on! Trust me - I had bets on having a boy! Go shopping! Girl stuff is ADORABLE and cures any disappointment.

As for this forum - realize it is full of all types of people. Those who want children, those who have them, and those who feel they are experts on them. Don't let anyone tell you that what you feel is wrong, not normal, or something you should be ashamed of. They need to welcome themselves to the real world, and understand that at no point did you say 'that's it - if I cant have a boy, I'm not having this child!"

Oh, and to answer your question... the disappointment passes and is replaced with excitement! Trust me, I'm human too - and like you was once disappointed. Now, I'm totally excited about someone to have Mommy/Daughter day with!

Merry Christmas & Congrats! :)

Answer 10

First off, congratulations.
Of course you will love your baby once she comes out. Although personally I have not gone through this my parents did, they wanted a girl so badly, instead my brother was born, BUT instead of being disappointed they were very happy they got a son. For you it surely will be the same. After you are holding your baby in your arms it won't matter if it was a boy or girl because it is your baby, Your daughter.