This is me when I'm angry.comments or critique?

Question

My storm of anger is borderline
to a hurricane of wrath,
exterminating everything
in it's unsuspecting path.
Despite of my calm exterior
of me, it shatters
people's facades
by my fierce,
seething stare.

If my eyes were in contact
of you right this moment,
the piercing scream
of my eyes would
blast your glass
composed exterior-
into a million jagged pieces.

Hush now.

I don't want
to destroy you.
I don't want to be
ruined by my own
hurricane of somberness
and guilt, in result
of seeing your shattered
ruins of your remains, glittering
like diamond dust
on the floor.

and this is a poem. only comments and critique please. not assumptions about a person you never seen in your life.

Answer 1

The speaker is indeed spiteful, ferocious and retaliatory.
I like this stanza:

If my eyes were in contact
of you right this moment,
the piercing scream
of my eyes would
blast your glass
composed exterior-
into a million jagged pieces.
Glass is a precise image, both literal and metaphorical. In both instances, it conveys the punitive, vicious "hurricane of wrath" the speaker would unleash against these scheming and shrewd "people's facades."

The foxy speaker states:

I don't want
to destroy you.
I don't want to be
ruined by my own
hurricane of somberness
and guilt

That is sarcastic, monstrous and fiendish. I'd not be misled if I was the target. It betrays the speaker's acrimonious scheme.
They say that at the devil's dining table, use a long spoon.
Overall, this is a remarkable poem. Of course, the speaker is not yourself, the poet.
Try to polish the tenses and spellings and I believe it will be ready for publication anywhere.
Be encouraged, write more poems.
.

Answer 2

With all due respect, and without absorbing the piece, I have to ask,,,since you did,,, WHAT do YOU think?

What does this do for you in expressing? Is it cathartic? Healing? A method of taking out the "trash"? OR do you habor the emotions, carry them, archive them even to recall at some later time?

Certainly you aren't unique in expressing DARK... But the validation for you might best be served by what the expressing manifests for you, eventually.

Finally, and as I have said often here, in being relatively new to the category,,,Have you shared this with those it might closely relate to?

Steven Wolf

Answer 3

your bipolar. get some help fast