Are you better at giving or receiving counseling/advice?

Question

I find I can see and advice people concerning their upsets yet applying the same information to myself and my situation gets lost oftentimes in the application process. This is just as common now that I am older.

Answer 1

If you look back through time women have always been the ones that solved the practical and impractical problems when it came to our people. We lived in groups, and had social order, with our elders as our leaders. Women have more often than not served the role of problem solvers. Generally throughout time, it's been women who tend to reconnect folks, mend hurts, heal hearts and souls.

I find however, in this day and age there are a lot of women who think and act very differently... what they WANT for self, comes before the needs of what the people around them need from them. Our social order has changed, our women have changed. Not all of them mind you... but, there are a lot of selfish people out there. Most of them don't care for true advice or council. I agree with Sage on the advice venue! I have a very dear friend who is a life coach, I respect her opinions on the highest level possible, as she does mine.

Answer 2

I was a psychologist for many years, and I gave really excellent advice to others about a wide variety of 'problems' they were having ... but didn't always have the ability to see 'similarities' in my own problems and apply good 'answers' to my own problems. I had an 'epiphany' about that when I was older, though, and met and became friends with the man who is now my husband. If I had made ANY decision differently (some were good, others were bad) I would NOT have been able to meet him. This is my SOUL MATE, and we both met at the LOWEST we had ever been, but were just 'beginning' to come out of it. We had both been homeless, and moved into the same 'tenant managed' building. We were homeless together for about 5 months AFTER we got married. We now live on an income of slightly over $60,000 a year, and are EXTREMELY HAPPY. We may continue to live on this or a better income, or we may become homeless again someday due to 'circumstances.' THAT doesn't matter to either of us ... AS LONG AS WE ARE TOGETHER WE ARE THE RICHEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD. Yes, it's common to realize that you may give good advice but not always be able to apply it to yourself ... and because you are a bit older, now, you can 'see that.' You will be 'truly mature' when you are in a situation similar to our situation, and you will KNOW that all of the 'decisions' you made, good or bad, were the ONLY decisions to get you to the 'happy place' you are in the end ... and I do hope you are wise enough to 'know that day' when it happens.

Answer 3

Lets just say I'm a good listener.

If you listen long enough most people, come up with their own solution, if you can sort of guide and ask the right questions.

As far as myself . . . If I have a problem, I work it out within myself.

I have been accused of having a perfect life, a perfect husband and perfect family.

This is only because rather than complain, I just work it out and have never felt comfortable becoming a burden on others.

This works for me, but because, no two people are alike, some have a different way of handling a problem.

Answer 4

Giving, without a doubt. I've always been known by family and friends as a smart, responsible person (don't know if I completely agree with them). So a lot of my family and ALL of my friends come to me for advice, but they criticize me for keeping MY problems to myself. I think I do it as a combination of an ego thing (not wanting to admit that someone else may be more capable than me, and feeling like needing someone else to help me is a sign of weakness) and being a control freak with a lack of trust. I say this because as someone who often advises, I feel that no one can give me better advice than I can give myself if I take the time to access and evaluate the situation. So even if someone advises me, I'll still probably do it my way.

I don't know if its my greatest strength or weakness, what do you think?...lol(joke)

Answer 5

Yale only accepts 20-30 transfer students per year out of about 1200 applications. Coming from a community college, your chances would be minimal even if you had a high SAT score. Your best bet is to go to the best public university in your home state. You have no shot at any elite universities. Sorry for the bluntness, but it is the truth.

Answer 6

About the only advice I give is here on YA. In real life I just listen when people tell me their troubles and try to help them make their own decisions. For myself I seldom ask advice. Only my husband and a few trusted friends know about my problems. Back when I was raising my children I was a firm believer in giving advice to them, and I made sure they did exactly what I told them to do. They thought I was too strict and old-fashioned but they turned out to be fine adults.

Answer 7

I feel the same way, I'm MUCH better and giving advice then following it myself. Most therapists have therapists themselves because even they need help feeling better and coping with issues, even though they spend ALL DAY telling people how to do the same thing. Being able to give good advice is an AWESOME gift, embrace it!

Answer 8

This venue makes it difficult for me...because many times it does involve GIVING advice since one to one back and forth interface is impossible. .. I prefer to coach, rather than advise. Coaching involves leading the person to make the correct decision for them and more often than not it results in the 'advice' one would have given, but the individual buys into more readily.

I ask advice when I am torn - which is seldom. Most times I know what I must do. When I do solicit advice, what I really ask is for that person to share with me THEIR experience and what action THEY took in a similar or same situation - NOT tell me what to do.

I will not ask someone who has not a clue or no experience in my area of concern.

Answer 9

I seek out good counsel when I need help with a situation.
If it about my marriage I talk to a few older people I know that
have long marriages. If it plumbing. I talk to a plumber.
If it's unsolicited it is harder to listen but I want to have a good life and I listen to that too...A few seconds to listen I leaned a
long time ago just takes a few seconds of my time. I also like people and like to hear how people think even if I do not agree.. I also like to feel needed and like when people ask me for advice and try not too give it unless they ask then I give too them !!!!!!!lol

Answer 10

Hmm I would have to say giving advice is easier for me to do. I dont know why but when I recieve advice i cant help but feel a bit uncomfortable and confused. Yet when I give advice I feel like a pro.