I ve been living with my SO for ten years.We got married 5 years ago.Six months ago I found out my wife has been cheating on me.She has been communicating with him for about a year or so.They have grown very close and she has fallen hard in love.They have been intamite but she mentions they did not have intercourse but did do just about everything eles.She says she is committed to our marrige but It seems she cant seem to let go of him. I can tell she is still longing for him.Things just havent been the same.She has no interest in sex with me at all. It seems she occupies her day doing things to keep her busy.She met him at a bar and a relationship started at her work on the phone and in emails while at work or after.She insists that it has ended but I still have no way of knowing what is going on at her work.She can email and talk on the phone at work and I would never know. I keep asking her to be honest with me she says its over. I keep asking about what's gong on. What do I do?
2007-12-18 06:24:58 · 7 answers · asked by Messed up Mike 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You either get a divorce, or you resolve this. IF she is still having a relationship with another guy, there isn't much hope for your marriage. If you can't believe she has ended the relationship, there still isn't much hope. A marriage isn't going to last without trust. So, you need to decide IF she's cheating, and IF you can ever trust her. Unless those issues can be resolved- get the divorce.
2007-12-18 07:37:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It appears to me that she has fallen out of love with you. She is obcessed with this other guy and will say anything for you to leave her alone of this issue. I think you need to ask yourself this question can you ever trust her again. If you answered NO or you were hesitant it maybe best to let her go.
In marriage communication and trust are two of the most important aspects if you lose them then the marriage is over.
I think she has already said she wanted to have intercorurse with this guy but didn't get that far. Meaning she still wants too meaning that the sex with you sucks and she is looking for better.
I think you have found another cold-hearted ***** that only thinks of herself rather then the big picture. Truly she has lost interest and respect for you time to dump her cheating little butt and move on.
Remember life is too short to spend it in a sex less marriage
and cheating spouse.
2007-12-18 14:39:10 · answer #2 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there is hope if she is remorseful and you are both very committed to working it out.
I would say she needs to give you complete transparency and accountability -- she promise to stop ALL contact with him all the time, and prove it to you by giving you access to her work and personal email and phone bills etc. She has to be willing to do whatever it takes to earn back your trust, which is a long and hard road, but yes it is possible.
She also has to be honest and open, willing to answer any question you need to know the answer to. I think you should both go to marriage counseling and individual counseling.
I would recommend you go to survivinginfidelity.com, they have a lot of helpful advice and forums, also marriagebuilders.com.
I'm sorry your wife chose to do this and I wish you all the best in whatever you decide.
2007-12-18 14:31:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Understand that in her mind your wife has made a decision. If she hasn't slept with this guy yet (why assume that a person who's lied to you for a year is telling the truth on something so uncomfortable) she will. You can choose to make this as painful or as easy on everyone as you like, but she has made a decision and you cannot change that.
Let her go, move on, heal yourself. You deserve to be happy and healthy and you don't deserve this.
2007-12-18 14:40:00 · answer #4 · answered by No Drama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce. Simple and easy. you should know that cheating is a character flaw. It cannot be fixed. Once a cheater always a cheater.
If you dislike being cheated, divorce her and move on. You deserve better.
2007-12-18 14:31:58 · answer #5 · answered by bhaiyagi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really want it to work go to counseling. Do not keep at her about this. Either let it go or get a divorce.
2007-12-18 14:37:43 · answer #6 · answered by 55 and trying 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is exactly why I would NEVER suffer a cheater!!!!
Once they cheat, you can never, ever, ever forget it.....and trust? Forget it- I could NEVER trust them the same ever again.
My heart goes out to your pain, really. No man or woman should ever endure such betrayal.
2007-12-18 14:29:30 · answer #7 · answered by Violation Valerie X 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋