it has been 3 1/2 months since we have been seperated my husband finds out im sick, now he wants to do for me. The other day he heard my battery was going in my truck so he goes out and buys me a new battery and leaves it at our friends house for me to get. He cant be around me I have protection order. I heard from his friend that he cant stand the girlfriends son- he is lazy--and the girlfriend wants him to buy her son a 4 wheeler, he is complains about her. He does not know what to do- he is drinking a lot I heard from friends. He knows he got himself to deep in this and does not know what to do. -- his friend said this to me. I can not let him come home to me not for a very long time-- 15yrs of marriage I did not deserve this, and he keeps trying to give me money What do I do with him
2007-12-18 06:08:27 · 18 answers · asked by mm 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well he's doing all of this out of guilt. Let him do whatever he wants for you. You keep the upper hand.Regardless of what other people say you deserve what ever he gives and do for you. After putting up with him for 15 years thats the least he can do. Dont withdraw the protection order. Keep it. You still have the upperhand if you keep it. If you withdraw it then he wins and it'll start all over again. If you have him listed on any insurance policies take him off. Remember YOU have to stay on top. He'll have to pay for the way he has treated you. It (the new girlfriend) always look greener on the other side until you get close up on it. Also stop listening to his friends.They are telling you what he says because they want you to have sympathy for him. Hey he's their friend and they are looking out for him. Tell his friends to step off!!!
2007-12-18 06:36:58 · answer #1 · answered by SimpleyD Best 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
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The answer is that you should not do anything WITH him. If he wants to give you car batteries and throw money your way, that's fine. Take it and ignore him. A car battery and whatever else he is trying to do are certainly much less than you deserve for what he put you through (and is still putting you through).
Sooner or later he will probably decide to disappear again, so take whatever he's giving now. Just don't let him back into your life. He thought the grass was greener on the other side of the fence. Now he sees that he was wrong. That doesn't mean you have to let him back in.
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2007-12-18 14:18:18 · answer #2 · answered by Musicality 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am with Musicali on this one
Here's the deal:
1-Separated is not divorced, so he is not single and has a girlfriend this is called CHEATING ... LEAVE HIM and never come back
2-Either you take the offerings or you don't. The battery and money are not gifts, they are things he does to ameliorate his guilt for the total candyass loser he is. If you take them, do it because he OWES you for breaking what he can never give you again,... TRUST, you might as well get something
3- If you don't want to take them, tell these friends to give these back to him and to never speak about him to you again. Whoever ties you to someone who hurts you has to either change or hit the road.
4- He's drinking to escape his reality, that is what a candyass loser does instead of deal with it. Don't feel sorry for him.
5- He started doing for you when you got sick, this means he can only be good to people he PITIES, this is sick behavior. He couldn't be good to you cuz he loved you or respected you or chose you NO he can only be good to you when he feels SORRY for you. SICK loser, get rid of him.
2007-12-18 14:35:10 · answer #3 · answered by Losing Is Not An Option 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you had problems before, they are gonna be worse now that he's drinking.
Yeah, he knows he f'd up to some extent. That doesn't mean that he won't repeat his past mistakes. He made his bed, doesn't want to lay in it and wishes he could go back. Do you think that's sincerely turning over a new leaf? It sounds more like someone being a kiss-*** to get in your good graces once he realized the grass wasn't greener.
2007-12-18 14:26:30 · answer #4 · answered by Sandy Sandals 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's feeling guilty as all hell, and trying to do some mending. Don't know why the protection order, but you have to give the guy some props. He knows he screwed up, and you can't take it back. See what happens when you cheat?
2007-12-18 14:17:34 · answer #5 · answered by Scott M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Work on your marriage. Separation is sometimes necessary, but it doesnt mean your marriage is unsalvageable. If you both get God involved, He'll show you how to save your marriage. Its going to take some forgiveness and faith (which God will give you the strength to do and find in your heart).
Its possible beloved.
2007-12-18 14:21:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have an order against him. Please abide by the order. Stick by your guns. Stay alert to your surroundings. Have NOTHING to do with him. Do NOT accept his 'gifts'. And cease communication with his friends as well. You do NOT need reminders of his situation. If he truly wishes to do anything for you, he should be seeking counseling....Not complaining to his friends......so that it gets back to you....in hope that you will cave.
Best Wishes for a fulfilling holiday Season!
2007-12-18 14:35:06 · answer #7 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For your own safety and for your own peace of mind let him be. Don't take the battery or any help from him because you will be putting out the wrong signal.
2007-12-18 14:16:26 · answer #8 · answered by Who Knew? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you still love him you need to try and work it out....Try meeting at the friends house with people around and just sit down and talk...sounds like his friend is trying to help you both out.
2007-12-18 14:16:48 · answer #9 · answered by Ray D 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get divorced asap, and keep the protection order, and renew it when its up. stay away from him. People dont change. Stop talking to his friends too.
2007-12-18 14:14:55 · answer #10 · answered by #4 due may 29th 2009 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋