I have been divorced for 6 years and my son lived with his mother until recently. He has always stayed wih me regularly and I have always paid child support for him. He has been living here for the past 2 months after falling out with his mother. I contacted the Child Benefit Agency to inform them that he has been living with me and since then his mother has been emotionally blackmailing him to go back to live with her.
She told him that he had to make a decision about where he wants to live which understandably caused him distress. He told her that he will live at hers but wants to see me more. I feel that I shouldn't have to pay her child support and I should receive child benefit if he is staying with me for the majority of the time. Basically his mother wants to remain the resident parent so that she can still claim maintenance and child benefit for him but she doesn't want him full time. What should I do?
2007-12-18 05:50:16 · 18 answers · asked by Gemini 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should consult a lawyer.
2007-12-18 05:53:48 · answer #1 · answered by Grey 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You can have the support order modified, but only if he is spending more than 50% of any given month with you. Your ex-wife is entitled to help with that child, like it or not. If you do a 50/50 split, your support order will reflect that, but it won't be SO much less you'll be paying that you'll notice a significant difference. If it's worth it to you to drag it all back to court with her, I'd say go for it, but you shouldn't let your child get into the habit of playing one parent against the other or ping ponging when things get rough with one or the other. It causes a rift, and child support issues are the least of which gets affected. Teach your son to patch up falling outs with his mother instead of giving him an out at your place, and vice versa. Good luck to you.
2007-12-18 05:55:29 · answer #2 · answered by Marina 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure you have a case worker that handles your child support account. Ask them to do a new assessment on your case. They will again ask you how much time you spend with your child, what your income is and what your expenses are. Your ex wife will do the same. They can they compare who takes care of your son more, and it might mean that you don't have to pay as much child support as before, or perhaps you won't have to. But don't ever not pay the childsupport. You'll end up owing it later on. Take it to your case worker first and get the paperwork you need to show that there's a change in your case.
Good luck.
2007-12-18 05:57:47 · answer #3 · answered by ASK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a court order to pay child support you have to pay it until you go back to you court and make a change to the order if you have him most of the time you should try to go for only paying when you don't have him this is a messing thing you are dealing with good luck and remember to keep your son at the top so he doesn't get mixed up in a mess he didn;t ask for (is sounds like you are already doing that)
2007-12-18 05:55:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
If your the main carer ( non resident carer) for your son you should claim child benefit not your ex wife. Also you wont have to pay maintenance to your ex either. I think that she might have to pay you money if he is living with you the majority of the time (not 100% on that though)
Good Luck
2007-12-21 00:48:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take her to court with proof of the time that he stays with you and receipts/canceled checks from the support you're paying. Have the courts change your custody arrangement to joint-50/50 custody where nobody pays child support.
2007-12-18 06:01:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since the situation have changed, you need to speak with your attny to draw up new papers for her to sign. But DO expect a rebuttal from her. Since the situation has reversed, so should the benefits. Best of luck with that one!
PLEASE do NOT take it upon yourself to simply stop without a legal agreement. That would be like contempt of court....And you would need to make up any payments missed.
2007-12-18 06:12:49 · answer #7 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you definitely need to file custody papers if you have not already done so. That way there are no grey areas as so how much time is spent where. You can file for joint custody and with you having physical custody. Who ever has physical custody should get the child support.
2007-12-18 05:57:42 · answer #8 · answered by Who Knew? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is with you and with her, then no you don't have to pay child support. You are doing your part by having him stay with you. You should just take of your son.Cloths, school supplies, etc.I think your x needs to grow up. Putting kids in the middle is just horrible.Your x is not just hurting you , shes hurting her son too.Your son is getting the worst of it . Its very sad
2007-12-18 06:01:07 · answer #9 · answered by whitewolfhowling 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have been through it. various avenues you can take, go to court and ask for parental responsibility and shared custody, if he is living with you dont pay csa , he sounds confused and is not knowing who to live with, if you go to court it is in black and white and it wont affect your son as they do not involve the children, i thought they would want to speak to mine but they did not want to. why dont you both go to mediation and sort out half and half , if she does not want to then she is not thinking of the child just go straight to court.
2007-12-18 06:01:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your son is staying with you then she should pay you child support.
2007-12-19 13:01:08 · answer #11 · answered by Magz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋