My ex isn't doing too well financially. I on the hand have really done well for the past couple of years. I kind of feel bad for my daughter's younger half brother because each holiday I'd get my child a ton of presents and that poor fella gets nothing. I think if this goes on, their relationship will really be tainted as they grow older. I don't want that.
Naturally I'd give ex money to buy whatever she wants for him but she's kind of stupid with money and has a tendency to blow it off and because of that I'm in the process of trying to change custody status for my child. In the mean while, I also really don't want to get involved in her life in any way other than those matters relating to my daughter. I'm kind of in a dilemma here. I feel really bad for him. He's such an adorable kid and my daughter loves him, so naturally I have a soft spot for him. What do you suggest I do?
2007-12-18 05:44:57 · 46 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Such a caring man. As long as u don't have a girlfriend or whatever that disapproves u do what u want. Ur doing it for the child and noone else. Good heart u have there!
2007-12-18 05:49:15 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Pure Evil♥ 6 · 3⤊ 3⤋
Of course its appropiate,why would'nt it b.You can't mix what ever problems u have with your ex with the children.I mean one thing has nothing to do with the other ! Just stop and think for a moment ''what if''¿ It was the other way around? I could bet a million dollars you would'nt want your daughter to feel left out !He's just a child and even if he is'nt your child he deserves to have a great christmas too.Remember,even though at this moment you are doing great financially does'nt mean you will be in the future.You never know what could happen along the way,but on my behalf i wish you the best of luck in everything ! Go ahead buy the little boy some presents i'm sure,that with that kind gesture everyone will be extremely happy...Goodbye,Merry christmas !
2007-12-18 06:14:44 · answer #2 · answered by Babielicous 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Buy him presents too. No child ought to feel left out or unloved at Christmas. So you be the good guy, you be Santa and bless your heart too. He would feel unloved by anyone should your daughter have presents and he doesn't. Your compassion is in the right place...for all you know you may be helping an angel in childs' clothes. As for your wife don't get involved anymore than dropping off presents with both their names and say on all from Santa Claus that's what my mom did even when we were old enough to know about Santa Claus
2007-12-18 05:53:52 · answer #3 · answered by lizzie 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You are a wonderful person and this is obviously tugging at your heart for a reason. If you can afford to do this for the little guy than God Bless you for doing it. If you do not want to be involved personally than allow your daughter to give him the presents as a gift from her. Either way you are to be commended for your great character. Merry Christmas to you. I hope that should your daughter no longer live with this little boy if you get custody that you will try to make sure and preserve her and her brother relationship as much as possible because losing her will be very hard on him. My ex had a child from a previous marriage and the childs Mom had a younger child and I used to do this for him. I also used to offer to bring him home with us when we got my stepson and often he would spend the weekend with us(his father was non-existent) My ex used to get irritated that I always brought the other child home when I went after his son but eventually the little boy grew on him too.
2007-12-18 05:51:33 · answer #4 · answered by STLgirl 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
MOST DEFINATELY, get him Gifts. ( Definately, Toys and if he is school age, some clothes would be nice)
He is a child and doesn't know the difference....he is not only your Husbands Son but, as you said your Daughters half-brother...if you feel confused about it, tell him your daughter or his Dad asked Santa for the Gifts for him. Whatever works, an Innocent, Sweet child is the GREATEST form of 'Unconditional Love'!
Good Luck, you sound like a thoughtful, loving and good person. Merry Christmas!
2007-12-18 06:02:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should give the children equal gifts as they have a brother and sister relationship. Thats what really matters through all. I remember being 7yrs old and going with my mother to pick up my 5yr old sister from a friends birthday party and being secretly upset that i didnt get invited with her. Then when i saw her with all the other kids with their party bags, i got really upset and cried when i got home. It sounds selfish really, but i was only a child and ive never forgot how i felt that day.
Not trying to make you feel bad about the situation but thats an example of the way i felt when there was that small divide between us.
Hope this has been helpful
2007-12-18 06:10:15 · answer #6 · answered by Fitness Student 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Get him some gifts! You know , this World would be Sooo Much Better if there were More Men like YOU in it !!! You sound like a real stand-up guy !! Good for you!! TO keep your ex at a distance you could always make the gifts you give him say " From: your daughter's Name". You are a Classy guy. Keep it up. Merry Christmas!!!
2007-12-18 05:53:58 · answer #7 · answered by casper 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think if you have feelings for this kid and just want his Christmas to be special then i would just get the fella a couple of boy things and just give them do not give money as you say it just won't work if they are gifts then why not your allowed to spoil kids you care about.
Christmas is for the kids and well it is the giving that feels better then the receiving. God Bless and Merry Christmas.
Be the Kids Santa bring a smile to his face.
2007-12-18 05:54:59 · answer #8 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Christmas is about the kids, first talk to your present girl and see how she feels you don't want to hurt her feelings.
Yes the poor fella needs Christmas too, buy him some gifts and have it come from your daughter to her brother.
he deserves Christmas.
makes me wonder where is his father???
PS. he is lucky to have you in his life, you seem like a good man.
2007-12-18 06:33:05 · answer #9 · answered by liitlebitt_03 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
As long as she and the kids express their appreciation, I see nothing wrong with it.
When I first married my husband, he would send gifts to his God-child, the GC's sister, the mother, and the grandparents. After several years of not even so much as a thank you note from ANY of them, I put my foot down and put a halt to it. Now, if the mother had just written or called or even just had the KIDS do that, I'd have been fine with it.
So DO remember the other kid. Its not his fault that his mother is financially irresponsible, and it will teach him kindness and humility. But take your daughter's mother aside and tell her that you'd appreciate it if the kids would BOTH express their gratitude accordingly.
2007-12-18 05:52:15 · answer #10 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋